BRIEFLY

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I am more acutely aware of the weaknesses in my life that cause me grief because I can’t seem to overcome the tendencies they produce.  I am constantly fighting temptations, none of which would be considered outwardly as significant as inwardly.  These temptations don’t represent what I want, and what I need in order to become like Christ.  As I was pondering this early this morning and asking the Lord questions regarding my situation, I had an interesting impression come to me.  One of the things I asked was how I could ever overcome one particular challenge I have faced for many decades.  In answer, the impression was simple, yet, for me at least, very powerful.  It was this, some temptations will likely be with me my entire life, but by fighting them, resisting them, even though it seems like a futile endeavor, my desire and effort to overcome them is actually strengthening me and is recognized and valued in heaven.  It’s the striving to overcome that will ultimately result in overcoming, combined with the Lord’s help of course.  As this simple concept settled into my mind I felt peace and I knew it was true.  I can neither save nor heal myself but in order to be saved and healed, I have to do my part.  I have to resist and strive with all my mental and physical capacity to not yield to this, or any, temptation.  I can do that.  That is within my power to do.  I have fought this battle for a long time and I can do it longer still.  The Lord will enable and support me even in my most trying times.  I needn’t have feelings of guilt or hopelessness because I experience the temptation as long as I don’t yield.  I can’t control what temptations are put before me but I can control how I respond to them.

My mind had been on something that first formed while serving in the addiction recovery program.  One of the most misunderstood experiences during recovery is relapse.  It can be devastating for some.  The mindset usually is that when they use, they feel enormous guilt and shame.  The difference between those two things is critical to understand recovery.  Guilt conveys the message that you have done something wrong that you need to correct.  Shame conveys a much more insidious message.  Shame says that you are wrong, not that you have done something wrong.  It conveys that you are broken and can’t be fixed.  Something horrible is wrong with you and you are irreparable.  Guilt encourages continued effort, shame does just the opposite.  When a person uses and experiences these emotions in greater or lesser measure, they promise themselves that they will never use again.  They don’t want to use, but its compelling nature can be overpowering at times.  So they move forward and ultimately relapse, sometimes even the same day they made the promise.  Guilt can, over time and repetitive failures, become shame because it seems to them that no matter what they do, they can’t seem to overcome the compulsion to use, hence they are broken, something is wrong with them.  I saw several individuals who, after years of support group attendance, would simply throw their hands in the air in utter frustration and proclaim that they just can’t do it, they can’t overcome their addiction.  Interestingly, others could progressively overcome their addictive substances and behaviors.  I wondered why that was.  Certainly there are a variety of variables involved in both the choice to use as well as how one strives to recover.  But over time I became acquainted with a concept that I believe can determine the nature of the outcome of recovery efforts.  At first it was nebulous but recently I came across a statement that seemed to solidify the concept, at least for me.  It is, focus on progress rather than failure.  Relapse is always viewed as failure.  It often convinces the one relapsing that all of the effort that went into deferring relapse was now invalidated and they would have to return to the original starting point in order to begin again.  That puts a lot of pressure and responsibility on a person not to relapse, which is an unreasonable expectation.  While relapse is not a part of recovery, it will likely occur during the time one is striving to recover.  So rather than promising themselves that they will never do it again, a wiser, more effective course of action would be to acknowledge the relapse, identify why it occurred this time, prepare to avoid similar triggers in the future and mark the time between the last relapse and the current one.  If formally measured and recorded, one can find encouragement in lengthening the time between relapses and see it as progress toward ultimate recovery rather than another failure.  The time in between can be evaluated for both negative and positive behaviors and desires as they relate to relapse.  Step by step, one can continue to move forward without beating themselves to death over continued and perceived failure.  I believe this concept is not only applicable to recovery from addictive substances and behaviors, but also habitual sin.  If the person can focus on the process of righteous progress, they can avoid the shame that results from continual failure.  Extending the time between occurrences can be powerful encouragement instead of just focusing on the fact that you committed the same troubling sin yet again.  This focus on progress, understanding yourself, and repenting or trying again, and again, and yet again, until you reach your ultimate objective, is far more manageable than promising you will never sin again, which truly is an unreasonable expectation while being mortal.  May I clarify that I’m applying this process to individual sins, not an overall evaluation of your life.  Some things may cause you no concern or trouble at all, while at the same time struggling intently with a particular challenge.  This concept applies only to any particularly troubling, sinful weakness.  As a person applies this process to the varied things in their life that trouble them, over time and with the Lord’s help and direction, there isn’t anything that they can’t overcome if they want to and are willing to pay the price to strive with all of their heart, might, mind, and strength.  I should also add the disclaimer that some troubling things may require additional, professional help.  But identifying that and utilizing that type of help would come under the umbrella of striving.

Growing old is interesting.  At first, one only grows older but at some point along the way, at a point as indistinguishable as discerning when the darkness of night begins to abate, one must confront the reality of age by admitting that they have become old.  My grandpa Brown once said that “the joys of old age, particularly an honored one [old age], far exceed the pleasures of youth”.  That’s impossible to understand for one thoroughly enthralled in the pleasures of youth, but I can attest to its veracity.  It does have its flip side as well.  Without the honor of those loved, old age can be a fatal cancer to one’s peaceful soul.  It is this perspective that allows one to realize that many of the pleasures of youth are transient, vain, and superfluous.  What made me happy then carries no weight now.  Joy is far more permanent and far less susceptible to the vagaries of circumstance.  It is the rock of permanence, the assurance of eternal outcomes, the hope we have in Christ who can, and will if we are willing, make us whole by repairing the breaches in our lives to the extent that it was if they had never happened.  Joy is the fruit of peace and divine peace can only come one way.  As Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life”.  Isn’t it amazing how much money (blessings) we leave on the table and from which we walk away?

Life is full of variables.  I suppose it’s the enormity of these variables that provides the variety with which we are all familiar.  Some days are good, some not so good.  We experience a wide range of emotions.  I’ve often wondered why I can’t sustain the wonderful feelings and times and eliminate the brutal, painful feelings and times.  As I grow older I can better understand the essential role the entire spectrum of experiences, feelings, and outcomes play in our eternal development.  I have learned to fret less over situations and circumstances that concern or make us afraid.  Looking back as a means to look forward can be powerful when realizing that circumstances I once thought devastating, if not fatal, didn’t impact me the way I thought they would.  Each thing I have experienced in my life has combined to make me the person I currently am and I anticipate that process will continue until I move to the next phase of my eternal development.  As I come to better understand the power of Jesus to deliver all of the Father’s children from the ravages of death and hell, excepting the sons of perdition.  All, regardless of what their life has been or not been, will be raised to at least a measure of eternal glory, and that least measure will far exceed the most wonderful things any mortal could imagine.  But it’s important to note that though that meager measure of glory may be beyond imagination, it pales in comparison to the fullness of glory and blessings that await those willing to comply with God’s commandments and surrender their will to His, thus becoming like Him and worthy to inherit all that He has rather than just a smaller portion.

I think that God’s love is often misunderstood because we use our temporal perspective to define it.  It’s not unusual for us to view everything through the lens of mortality.  If our existence began at mortal birth and ends at mortal death, our perspective is incredibly limited.  Any pain, loss, adversity, or failure could easily be construed as detrimental to our pursuit of happiness, however we may define it.  But if our consciousness, our innate identity, never began but always existed in some form, was enhanced through a process of premortal birth to heavenly parents whose core motive was love for their children, to the point of developing a plan whereby they could develop and ultimately become like them with boundless expression and fulfillment, and if this mortal experience was an essential portion of this developmental process of becoming divine, and if mortal death also played and essential role in this process, and that life didn’t end with mortal death but would exist forever, one would be constrained to view mortality’s troubles much differently.  That is why the gospel of God is the ultimate good news.  Divine love is drastically different than the love many mortals experience.  God’s love is tutorial.  It has a divine purpose and expression.  It is embodied in the sacrifice of God’s firstborn son who voluntarily came to earth to heal and repair all of life’s breaches through suffering unimaginable to any mortal.  The greatest of all acts of pure, divine love offered freely to bless all who would accept it.  God’s love is expressed both in justice and mercy, justice for those harmed and mercy for repentant harmers.  Divine love is ever present and available and when felt it can be life changing.  But God’s love is never forced upon anyone but offered freely and universally.  His goodness is beyond any reproach, and certainly beyond any mortal effort to question or doubt.  I have tasted of His divine love on multiple occasions.  I have seen His holy hand in my life more times than I can count.  His goodness to me is partially manifest in his tireless patience with me but is also manifest by what He did to make my mortal journey more meaningful, more fulfilling, and certainly more hopeful.  And so it is with all his children.

During the course of my lifetime I have come to understand what a blessing it is to have a responsible calling.  It helps to motivate me to keep my covenants before the Lord so that I may have the Holy Ghost with me always.  The Holy Ghost plays a far greater role than just occasionally providing information.  For me, I feel differently when the Holy Ghost is with me.  I feel happier, more at peace, more able to reject the adversary’s enticements, closer to the Lord, and especially more inclined to enhance my development of the divine character.  In fact, His presence in my life is absolutely essential to my eternal development.  Because of this I can more easily recognize the things in my life that prevent me from availing myself of His presence.  Some of these things just slough away but others cling to me as if barnacles on the hull of a ship.  Stripping them away isn’t easy but the desire and work required to do so, regardless of how slow the process, is a divine characteristic in and of itself.

For some time I have noticed with greater clarity a pronounced disparity between believing Christ has power to exalt anyone willing to follow Him and those who believe He can exalt everyone except themselves.  This limiting of Christ’s infinite and eternal atonement, in my mind, is the highest possible repudiation of Jesus Christ, other than those few who fully embrace perdition’s untenable preference for darkness.  For one to say that they are an exception to God’s limitless grace is incredibly self centered.  What could possibly make them so special as to place them beyond God’s grace?  God’s divine grace is limitless, it knows no bounds.  Regardless of what one has done, excepting those mentioned above, there is nothing that cannot be forgiven.  All other perceptions regarding Christ’s ability to cleanse and heal originate from perdition’s filthy fortress.

I was pondering the disparate distance between God and man.  Even the prophets, whose lives are most usually aligned with God’s will, are astounded when brought into the presence of God.  Most fall on their faces upon the ground, unable to even look at Him.  That they must experience some form of transfiguration just to be able to exist in His presence would be startling enough.  After such a theophany, it’s not unusual for the prophet to describe having no mortal strength.  For example, Moses’ experience, “And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth. And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.”  It’s much more likely that contemporary individuals perceive God as He appeared during His mortal sojourn on earth.  In this form the disparity between God and man was far less noticeable.  However, when considering God in His glory, something our doctrine promises possible for all of God’s children, the distance between fallen man and exalted, glorified God is beyond human ability to comprehend.  If not for Christ and His atoning mediation, man could never become like God.  Because of the incomprehensible distance between God and man, God’s mercy becomes the one and only means of bridging such an enormous gap.  Despite Christ’s infinite mercy in offering Himself as a ransom to redeem all of God’s children, the extent to which that mercy has effect depends upon the desires and choices of each individual.

It has occurred to me that there is a rudimentary decision each person will ultimately confront.  It is an existential question.  Am I the result of happenstance or design?  Can I believe our existence can be attributed to the spinning of some universal roulette wheel?  If so, could I ever feel safe?  Such a foundational belief would inherently present a constant state of uncertainty as well as a torturous lack of meaning.  If not, then what?  If one cannot believe that such a magnificent universe, including the complexity of a human being, resulted from mere chance, regardless of the extensive time involved, what alternatives remain?  Who or what could have designed and created such an incomprehensible universe?  And, perhaps more importantly, why?  It seems to me that the world simply cannot provide answers to these existential questions, even though enormous resources and effort are expended in the search for these answers.  Must such an impactful decision be made arbitrarily?  Upon what evidence can this decision be made?  The extent of creation certainly infers unimaginable intellect and power.  But inference alone doesn’t lead to certainty.  Scientific discovery is extensive but historically plagued by the elusiveness of absolute truth.  Religious inquiry seeks truth via a different process.  The basis for their route is rooted in their observational belief that the universe and its inhabitants were not merely the composite result of an unimaginable game of chance.  They are affirmatively seeking the Creator.  My faith is founded upon a long string of witnesses who have testified of His existence and truths derived from personal contact with Him.  From these divine interactions come a flurry of doctrinal beliefs that tie us more intimately to the Creator than just passengers on the same train.  As one seeks God, recognizing their paternal connection to Him, a steady flow of understanding and confirmation is readily available.  In the words of Joshua, one who testified of God, “choose you this day whom ye will serve; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”.

From my perspective, a common, recurring theme found in the Old Testament is Israel’s stubborn reluctance to allow Jehovah to be their God despite repeated miraculous occurrences of deliverance from their militant foes, often when overcoming a significant numerical disadvantage.  As I was thinking about how the Lord wanted to make certain that Israel knew who the source of their victorious strength was and what was required of them to ensure such divine sustenance, my mind flashed unprovoked to the quiet Garden in Gethsemane on a doleful Thursday night.  Of all numerically disparate confrontations, this one was without peer.  Against the gaping mouth of hell itself, populated by the combined cohorts of a satanic rebellion first fomented in the premortal life, stood the solitary sentinel whose anointed mission was to not only withstand temptation no mortal could comprehend but ensure utter and ultimate defeat for all of evil’s seditious intent.  Only one opposed an innumerable army of vile and vicious soldiers whose yearnings were solely to defeat the Holy One of Israel.  Of all Israel’s battles, this was the one that scarred the Lord of Hosts.  But despite the combined effort and motivation of evil’s most devilish hatred in those quiet, lonely hours in that dark garden, the Holy One would not yield.  He took everything hell could aim at Him and refused to yield.  The majesty of the Holy One overcame all that hell could conjure.  Then, the next day, when Jesus was at his weakest physically, from lack of sleep, scourging, and the physical anguish of enduring crucifixion, the horrors of the previous night returned to Him while hanging upon that pole of Roman torture, with one notable exception; this time, for probably the first time in His mortal life, the presence of His Heavenly Father withdrew from Him, causing Him to cry out in anguish.  Even in that extremity, He would not, in fact did not, yield to evil’s amalgamated attempt to thwart God’s holy plan of redemption.  Thus the victory of the most crucial battle ever fought belonged to the sole soldier, the Lord of Hosts, the mighty Messiah.  All of Israel, even almost all of God’s children, will proclaim His Holy name and bow in reverence for what only He could do in their behalf; save them from hell’s gaping jaws and all of the nefarious consequences that spew therefrom.

This morning I pondered the irony of those who judge God.  Transforming God from the One who judges to one who is judged by those whose infinitesimal understanding of anything is like spitting into the ocean when compared to the majesty of God’s knowledge, understanding, power, and intent.  I believe mortals judge God for a variety of reasons.  Mortal hopes often go unfulfilled even after lengthy pleading for God’s will to conform to theirs.  Such disappointment can lead one to conclude that God is either nonexistent, absent, or without feeling.  Many view the almost universal injustice and inhumanity perpetrated by evil individuals and can only conclude that God is either nonexistent, absent, or sadistic.  Individuals whose lives are alien to anything taught and expected by God are caught in the quandary of why they are so miserable even when they are free to express themselves without restraint, seeking only to gratify their own carnal pleasure.  For covenant children of God who so often fall short of divine expectation, faith and devotion to their covenants dwindles until they are constrained to either judge God to be something He is not or eliminate Him from the equation of their lives in a vain attempt to extinguish the very guilt that God provides to inspire correction.  Certainly the disparity between God and His mortal children is humanly unimaginable.  But rather than judge God rashly or vainly, the more satisfying and fulfilling course of action would be to turn toward Him rather than away from Him.  Really, it is peace we all seek and it is only available from one source, the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.  It is only through the life and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, relying wholly upon His merits, mercy, and grace that exoneration and peace are brought to bear in one’s life.  Rather than judging God from humanity’s meager perspective, chose to trust God’s unlimited love, concern, experience and perspective and begin to turn to Him.  Rather than judging God, invite Him into your life and find therein everything you have been missing.

Independence Day.  The liberty we now enjoy does not come without a price.  This land was once free and would have remained free forever if its inhabitants had only obeyed Jehovah’s commandments, triggering promises of freedom and prosperity.  Despite vacillating between freedom and captivity for hundreds of years, the people finally rebelled against God’s good promises and rejected Him entirely, causing the vast majority of the population to become extinct.  This rejection of Jehovah, through their desire for and implementation of wickedness on a massive scale caused them to forfeit the sacred gift of freedom.  Having had part in shedding the blood of Christ, if only symbolically, required any future inhabitants of this land to redeem it with the shedding of their own blood.  The struggle for political freedom from tyrannical whims lasted for many years against a far superior military foe.  The willingness of many colonists to shed their blood in freedom’s pursuit brought about heaven’s help in securing the very freedom they sought.  God’s hand was evident in the population of the land and the creation of a government who held freedom in high enough regard to assure its future by dividing power in as many ways possible.  It hurts my heart to watch a massive effort unified to overthrow all that is good and divine about America.  This malicious movement seeks to abolish all order and governmental protection in the name of vengeance for all of its wrongs.  It would seem to me that trying to work together to right such wrongs would be a more productive approach.  But when considering who the originator of such chaos is, I suspect many involved in the movement of destruction will someday have their eyes opened and realize they were only pawns in a far more destructive objective, hatched in the most evil of minds.

Routine prayer can become vain if not attended by soul stirring intent, even if certain aspects of prayer are repeated often.  I have committed myself to daily personal study of the scriptures, including the Book of Mormon and one of the other three books from the standard works, depending upon the Church’s course of study for the year.  I also have several character flaws upon which I ponder and strive to make a conscious, affirmative effort to improve upon each.  I can honestly say that progress is observable and rewarding, even though I am still tinged by weakness in those areas.  I sense that progress resulting from pure intent is valued highly in Heaven.  I strive to be kinder to people, less judgmental, more compassionate and understanding.  I strive to speak to others in a more Christlike way.  I hope that someday such a change will become who I am and not require so much affirmative action.  Until then, I will continue to see the better way, regardless of how mechanical it feels at times.  I have faith in the process.  I want to be more expressively grateful for more things that matter.  I am steadily striving to rearrange my priorities to reflect what I really want to become.  Understanding how challenging this can be allows me to be patient with myself.  Change can occur almost imperceptibly.  When the sun sheds its first rays in the morning, who can distinguish the precise moment when it begins to become lighter?  Over the next 30-40 minutes, light very gradually increases in ways that distinguishing the change from second to second is impossible but when the sun itself appears, one can readily recognize the culmination of the progress.  Our lives are like that.  I think far too often people lose faith in the process, or at least the pace of the process, and forfeit the sweet reward that awaits the patient pursuer.

Our belief in God includes the belief that He is Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent.  How then, can mortal man limit God?  The answer lies in the agency given to man by God for an essential and crucial purpose.  Man’s agency allows for the freedom necessary to shape the course of each individual life.  God will never coerce but He certainly yearns for His children to choose Him.  He is the only source of salvational outcomes, and offers a vast range of those to accommodate the vast disparity of mankind’s willingness to comply with the conditions of salvation and exaltation.  Because of Christ’s atonement, all of the necessary legal obligations have been met and made available to all  of God’s children.  However, the legal implications for fallen man are only part of the equation of salvation.  The other component is change.  If anyone wants to dwell with God, in any measure, they must conform and comply with the conditions (laws) of their new residence.  None of us, without the divine help offered freely by Christ’s atoning sacrifice, can change enough to warrant entrance into God’s most holy place.  That type of change not only requires God’s merciful and enabling help, but also a desire and willingness on the part of the individual to seek such an outcome.  That involves continual repentance (change) in order to transform one’s mortal nature into the nature of God.  The power God possesses to complete such a magnificent transformation is only limited by one’s lack of desire or unwillingness to seek Him.  How sad it is, considering the price that Christ paid to not only save but redeem each of God’s children, that so relatively few choose to receive less than is made possible and available to all.  “For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.” (D&C 88:333)

The certainty I feel regarding God, His Son Jesus Christ, and His eternal plan of redemption are all bricks that are tied together by the mortar of His divine love.  My personal experience with Him has been a process of laying one tier of bricks on top of another.  Over time, the rigidity and strength of what we’ve built together can weather the storms I have encountered.  Though I fully recognized that unless I continue to build my belief even stronger, I may not be able to withstand what awaits.  Casualness is the enemy of my soul and will always lead to deterioration within my walls.  Studying the Old Testament this year has been enlightening.  Some things are self-evident but some need to be seen in context and pondered about before understanding comes.  One thing that struck me was how many of the wicked kings sat upon the throne for extended lengths of time.  As I pondered that several thoughts began to come to the forefront of my mind.  Among them was that personal agency, one of the foundational of all God’s tenets, is sacrosanct and crucial to His grand plan of redemption and happiness.  God allows each of His children to determine their own course by virtue of the right to choose according to one’s desires, even if they are eternally destructive.  But with agency comes accountability.  Though full judgment is withheld during mortality, it will ultimately demand personal accountability.  Being mortal and watching loved ones make choices that I know they will come to regret is painful but requires restraint and patience to allow them their own mortal experience which is essential to their own eternal growth and development.  If it’s painful for me, it’s unimaginable for me to consider what it might be like for Christ, who sacrificed so much on behalf of each child of the Father.  Patience is a characteristic of Godliness.  I am left to conclude that the vagaries of the mortal experience by nature create within us the opportunities to develop patience, something we won’t want to be without when our accountability experience comes due.

This morning I looked out the window just as the sun rising above the ridge to the east.  My eyes were drawn to all the plants in our backyard, how beautiful they are and how much they have grown.  My mind was opened and illuminated just as were my eyes with the day’s first rays of sunlight.  I love watching things grow. Some grow fast and some grow slow but regardless of pace, all growth requires time.  Time implies patience and affords the opportunity to develop patience, a divine characteristic that is essential as we not only accommodate our own growth but also the growth of others.  But all growth is improvement.  That is what He hopes for each of us.  As the Grand Gardener of all creation, He knows exactly when and to what extent to prune or nourish any of His creations so that growth will improve and ultimately bear the greatest measure of fruit.  His mercy allows me to remove the parts of me that impair my growth through the incomparable gift of repentance purchased with the Savior’s own precious and untainted blood.  Indeed it is glorious, glorious beyond anything I can imagine.  Growth is divine by intent and design, in whatever form it’s expressed.  I apologized to Jo for how I acted last night and she forgave me.  How grateful I am for forgiveness, both to forgive and be forgiven.  What a glorious doctrine of redemption. 

I have been reading Saints Volume 3.  I have thoroughly enjoyed all three volumes.  Being able to peer into the lives of those who have preceded us has been so helpful to me.  Though living in different time periods with different cultural expectations, the challenges that face saints in any period of time have similar purposes if not similar faces.  It’s heartening to see weaknesses as well as faith and devotion in the lives of others.  It’s revealing to recognize that our lives are not that much different from theirs in so many ways.  As the narrative neared my own birth and period upon the earth, I was astounded by some of the things that seem to have been ignored by subsequent generations.  As Hitler came to power in Germany, making promises he couldn’t keep, all the while concentrating central power with brute force, and improving an economy destitute from the consequences of a previous war, many bought into his charismatic speech which hid his vile and evil intent.  I thought a few names could be changed and our contemporary time would be described.  It’s sad that we don’t heed the telling outcomes of the past as we book passage on the current bandwagon.  My heart just aches for how so many are literally being led, as if by a ring through their nose, happily toward the slaughter house.  Satan certainly reins over his wicked kingdom.  However, His time will soon come to naught.  It will fall and great will be the fall thereof.  Waiting upon the Lord will become increasingly difficult in the coming days and years.  Prophetic warnings fall upon deaf ears and hard hearts.  If not inclined to hearken to the Lord’s gentle whisper of invitation, His louder, more compelling message will thunder forth in a more impactful manner which the rebellious will find much less appealing.  On a happier note, I can’t help but read what saints of a previous generation have endured and overcome to make my life better.  My gratitude for them has been magnified significantly.  I wonder if my posterity will ever look back at me and feel the same way.

God given personal agency is a paramount doctrine in God’s Kingdom.  Everything He does to coax His children to return to Him and claim their eternal blessings that were promised to them before they came to earth depends upon their ability to make their own choices.  In my study it’s impossible to not recognize the impact agency has in the lives of individuals, relationships, communities, and countries.  Recently a thought has begun to germinate within my increasingly marginal gray matter.  I am coming to understand just how powerful agency really is.  Each person has been granted the right and power to choose their own path.  I don’t believe I have ever really seen it this way before, or at least framed in the way I now see it.  I believe the adversary strives to convince people that their circumstances dictate the terms of their life.  I think nothing could be further from the truth.  Certainly circumstances that affect each person are often shaped by the agency of someone else, leaving the individual to deal with damage, not of their own making.  Regardless of what is beyond one’s control, one thing is always, and entirely within each individual’s power to control.  It is to choose how they will respond, what they will make of what they have.  Joseph, Jacob’s son, is a prime example of this type of understanding.  Much of his path was charted for him.  He was unjustly treated on more than one occasion, each time resulting in circumstances that were worse than what they had been.  And yet, he chose to respond without self pity, or complaint, or in any negative way.  He always chose to forge forward and in doing so he allowed the Lord’s blessings to find him.  While many are victimized by the evil actions of others, 

it is through the tender mercies of a compassionate Savior, whose healing power can undo any injustice no matter how egregious, that justice will overpower injustice.  I’ve seen this happen in my own life.  It’s only in these last years that this has all become so clear to me.  I hold the power to determine my own outcome by virtue of the choices I make.  Imagine that.  Of course, once a choice is made, the outcome is out of our control.  A person having made their choice is now subject to God’s justice.  Only then, when that stark  realization settles upon one’s heart, does the need for a Savior, who stands betwixt them and justice, become efficaciously acute.

There is a vast spectrum of differences among people created by individual interests, backgrounds, perspectives, beliefs, and values.  As these people encounter others in a variety of situations the worst in us is always ready to manifest itself, creating tension between people that can escalate into more than mere annoyance.  Each of us is a dual being, the core part is who we were before we ever entered mortality.  Despite a lack of information about that permortal state, we know that we lived there for a very long time, developing to the point we were ready for mortal combat.  Though we wage war with adversity at every turn, the greatest challenge we face comes from the other part of dual nature, the mortal part.  Mortal physicality is an absolute necessity to achieve the greatest measure of God’s promise, but it also presents an entirely new set of experiences.  The physical body presents us with appetites, passions, and desires that far exceed anything we have ever experienced.  Fortunately, our Heavenly Father sent each of His children to begin their mortal sojourn with the Light of Christ which acts as a moral barometer of sorts.  When one chooses to ignore its gentle and quiet direction, they surrender power to Satan, the father of lies and enemy to our happiness and their nature migrates from the pure, innocent state into which we came to the carnal, sensual, and devilish person Satan wants us to be.  His enticement to embrace such a change is clever yet devious, often trapping one before they even realize they were near the trap.  Pursuing this baser nature only leads one farther and farther away from their premortal promise.  When one decides the path of sin and darkness doesn’t yield anything close to what was promised, they must evict the natural man from their life.  Such a task may prove to require far more effort than it took to find room for him in the first place.  In fact, I don’t believe the natural man can be evicted with only mortal weapons as persuasion.  It takes heavenly help through the merits, mercy, and grace of Jesus Christ.  Even then, it will neither be an easy nor a quick process.  The manual for evicting the natural man is found in the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19.  For further details about the process delve into the Book of Mormon with consistent and willful intent.  You will find its pages laden with the atoning beauty offered by Christ to all with willing intent.

My study of the Gospel has intensified this year.  This morning while in prayer I realized how incredibly blessed we are to have the availability of so many scriptures in addition to living prophets and apostles.  It was one of those illuminating moments when I was granted the opportunity to see things more as they really are than as I am normally inclined to see them.  I pondered where we, as a covenant society, would be without these historical records of God’s dealing with His children.  I am so dependent upon the scriptures to better realize who and what God is, what His purposes are, and how I can become more intimately familiar with Him.  I learn so much about His divine motives and how I must affirmatively work on developing those same motives until they become mine.  I see the accountability of justice when connected to God’s law, and why that is.  I also see how patient and long suffering He is with wayward children as His mercy is extended with open arms to all who are willing to accept and embrace it.  The process of reconciling with God is simple enough that a child can understand and implement it in their own life.  And yet, the process is incredibly comprehensive, so much so that without Christ’s help, completion of the process is beyond even the most accomplished mortals.  This dependency is fostered by humility as an absolute necessity.  There is so much involved in this process of redemption that one, no matter how adept, could ever become bored with the ease of the path.  It’s astonishingly flexible when considering one’s mortal weakness and God’s infinite mercy, but steely rigid when considering the necessity of God’s justice in establishing an environment where personal agency is paramount.  Above all, in and through all things is the lifeblood of God’s love, the purest motive possible which is offered to all of God’s offspring.  Isn’t it amazing so few accept the offer?

As my life ebbs along to its inevitable conclusion, I become more focused on eternal things.  So many of my previously important mortal interests have significantly diminished or disappeared entirely.  My desire to become more like the Savior escalates to fill the space.  My thoughts center more upon Him and I am ever trying to affirmatively eliminate character traits that are an enemy to my soul and replace them with the divine characteristics necessary to prepare me for my life after this one.  Two paintings that used to hang at the front of the chapel in the Jordan River Temple have helped shape that process.  One portrayed the Savior suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane while the other one portrayed the Savior speaking with a Samaritan woman at the well.  For several years I just viewed them as art but with time, the Spirit began to open my eyes to crucial components of the Savior’s Atonement.  One, His Atonement is both infinite and eternal in nature.  Christ’s atoning influence has no bounds either in space or time.  And yet, it is intimately personal for each of God’s children.  The price He paid to satisfy divine justice is incomprehensible to the finite mind, but the compassionate grace He extends to all whose mortal wounds have inflicted pain and sorrow is tender and sweet because He also took upon us all our infirmities.  He understands what each person has experienced, all one’s fears, pains, anxieties, failures fall under His loving care, to which so many can attest.  The most important relationship we can develop will be with Christ.  Awed by His power of creation and ability to resist all evil, one can reach out to Him for tender comfort, consolation, and healing which knows no bounds.

In my experience there is a wide variety of opinions as to what constitutes happiness.  It is sought in many ways.  In my opinion, therein lies the fatal flaw that leads so many to embrace an expectation for happiness that doesn’t exist.  So when their best efforts are expended to achieve happiness based upon their own perception, a perception that doesn’t exist, it would seem certain that instead of happiness all sorts of negative responses would soon lead one to the conclusion that happiness doesn’t exist.  And if that is true, even in their own mind, the hope of ever being happy would seem not only remote, but seemingly unattainable.  This sapping of hope which ultimately leads to despair can be life threatening if not for effective intervention.   True happiness and joy only comes from one source, God.  Counterfeit happiness is the great lie that comes from the father of lies, he who is eternally miserable and seeks that all be as miserable as he is.  Each of us is free to choose between these two alternatives, to decide which path will lead to the happiness we want.  “Ye have sought all the days of your lives for that which ye could not obtain; and ye have sought for happiness in doing iniquity, which thing is contrary to the nature of that righteousness which is in our great and Eternal Head.” (Helaman 13:38)  Many, probably most, choose the path to happiness that emphasizes those things which are carnal, sensual, and devilish.  This choice, though temporarily enticing and pleasurable, will never produce lasting happiness because it runs counter to the nature of happiness.  “All men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state, are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness.” (Alma 41:11) If a person seeks happiness by pursuing a sinful lifestyle, they are seeking something that does not exist.  Their expectation of happiness will never come to fruition and leave them empty and unsatisfied.  But another aspect of that flaw is that many, probably most, are guided by the belief that happiness is defined by a lack of difficulty, challenge, or failure in one’s life.  I believe this is a flawed perception.  Nephi’s life certainly wasn’t free from difficulty, yet he said, “And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.” (2 Nephi 5:27)  Shortly before confronting the horrors of Gethsemane, the Savior told His apostles, “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”  I believe that happiness is not the absence of tribulation, but the reward for overcoming whatever tribulation we encounter.  If one has a correct perception of the nature of happiness and what is required to achieve a life after the manner of happiness, their choice of path is actually quite clear and their accurate expectations will arm them for their journey.  “I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.  The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”  (John 10:9,10)  The abundant life is filled with sacrifice, service, love, compassion, forgiveness, obedience, humility, meekness, selflessness, all of which contribute to happiness not only here on earth, but in eternity.  If you are expecting to enjoy happiness in any other way, you are guaranteed to not only be disappointed but ultimately miserable.  Learn about the manner of true happiness, what it entails, what it offers, what to expect.  Reach for Christ, be willing to become a disciple by learning what discipleship requires.  Start with the Book of Mormon.  It will lead you to true happiness, pure happiness, the happiness that never ends, the happiness that never disappoints but always satisfies and fulfills.

I have often pondered the power of patterns in our lives.  Patterns are obviously helpful in many ways, such as when sewing or using blueprints to build something.  Blueprints for most of life’s most important things aren’t available in the way we think of blueprints, but the examples of success around us can be as effective as drawings to show outcomes.  The Lord’s prime pattern was His Son, Jesus Christ.  No exemplar can compare but He isn’t the only exemplar the Father has provided for His children.  We associate with many people whose lives reflect a consecration and devotion to God that allows the Savior to make them Holy.  Consistent and intentional use of personal agency over time to comply with righteous desires brings about change, not only in ways for which we are alone responsible but in more eternal ways which only the Lord can provide.  Not only should we be observant of such living patterns of spiritual development but strive to become such a living pattern for those watching us.  I have been blessed by many such individuals throughout my life.

Early this morning, I was pondering the disparate distance between God and man.  Even the prophets, whose lives are most genuinely aligned with God’s will, are astounded when brought into the presence of God.  In their scriptural accounts, most fall on their faces upon the ground, unable to even look at Him.  That they must experience some form of transfiguration just to be able to exist in His presence would be startling enough.  After such a theophany, it’s not unusual for the prophet to describe having no mortal strength.  For example, Moses’ experience, “And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth. And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.”  It’s much more likely that contemporary individuals perceive God as He appeared during His mortal sojourn on earth.  In this form the disparity between God and man was far less noticeable.  However, when considering God in His glory, something our doctrine promises possible for all of God’s children, the distance between fallen man and exalted, glorified God is beyond human ability to comprehend.  If not for Christ and His atoning mediation, man could never become like God.  Because of the incomprehensible distance between God and man, God’s mercy becomes the one and only means of bridging such an enormous gap.  Despite Christ’s infinite mercy in offering Himself as a ransom to redeem all of God’s children, the extent to which that mercy has effect depends upon the desires and choices of each individual.  I would like to temper that reality by sharing what I have come to know about diminishing that distance through Christ.  That this mortal experience was created for our eternal development, Christ’s mercy is tender and kind.  He invites us to be yoked to Him, to allow Him to work through this mortal process together.  When I recognize my own weakness in any aspect of my life, having a stronger companion upon which to lean is incredibly encouraging and comforting.  Realizing that He will not do for me what is mine alone to do cannot extinguish the strength and commitment I feel from Him and the hope and comfort that engenders.  That it is a process played out over time and that He only asks for my best and is patient with my best even when it is so apparently meager instills within me hope.  Because He is my partner I should never succumb to discouragement that seems to be ever ready to deter my progress.  As long as I am connected to Him, I’ll be ok.

I don’t believe Lucifer limits his meddling to a binary yes or no.  I think his subtlety is much more nuanced and it doesn’t matter in the least to him which way one may be redirected or what tactics are used to accomplish his nefarious designs.  Meddling with the pace of one’s progress toward God is one of his most preferred and effective tactics.  Constructing the idea that pace is the same for everyone can be brutal.  For those whose pace seems slow when compared to others, comparative expectation can foster discouragement and ultimately resignation and defeat.  For those whose pace seems faster than others, comparison can lead to criticism and judgment of others whose pace cannot equal theirs.  God works with us at our pace.  Most usually growth and development in mortality is slow, sometimes almost imperceptible.  These comparative perceptions can lead to being either too hard on ourselves or too hard on others.  While we may not be able to recognize the progress we are making, God always does because His perception is eternal in nature.  From His perspective, it’s the growth that matters most.  Consistent, persistent growth and development toward God and combined with His merciful help will ultimately yield an eternal harvest beyond our fondest imagination.

I find that many people struggle in life because they have expectations that were formulated upon faulty information or misaligned effort.  I believe another major factor that leads to expectations not being met is a dearth of understanding regarding the purpose of earth life.  If earth’s origins, which also encapsulates man’s origin, are as many believe just the result of an incredible existential happenstance one could not be faulted for expecting what so many do.  But if, as I believe, both earth and the entirety of its occupants were created by a divine creator and for His divine purpose, then we shouldn’t be surprised when things don’t go as well as we imagined or hoped they would.  There is a purpose to our lives.  On this mortal journey one will encounter many things; some pleasant and beneficial, some unpleasant and detrimental, and some unpleasant but beneficial to our ongoing development.  When viewed through the prism of eternal reality and purpose, each of our experiences may ultimately be beneficial toward an outcome that will far exceed anything experienced in mortality.  Patience is an essential friend to have on this journey.

Being a disciple of the Messiah, of emulating and striving to become more like Him is never initially the easy way but it is unquestionably the more satisfactory and fulfilling way if pursued to its designed end.  The adversary’s easy alternative appeals to a broader audience, many of who consume it entirely without question until they are bound by restraints they could never have imagined nor suspected, which will be so incredibly strong that only the power of Christ Himself will be able to rescue those willing to pay a price far greater price that obedience would have ever required.

In my study this morning I came across one of the many references to the Savior as the shepherd and how the shepherd would give their life to protect the sheep.  It made me think of an experience I had several years ago when going up into the mountains to pick up some of our children from Youth Conference.  We became impatient waiting for them to walk down the road so I began walking up the road and it was much farther than I thought it would be before encountering them.  On my way there was a herd of sheep off in the trees.  I made a move to walk toward them when I heard a fierce growl, then another and another.  Three ferocious looking dogs were making it abundantly clear that I was not to take another step toward the sheep they were guarding.  I couldn’t help but think of the Savior protecting His flock.  It was so visual and aural that it imprinted the memory that I still have ever so clearly.  It gave me an additional aspect of the Savior’s role of protecting His covenant sheep.  Acting like a sheep isn’t something of value in our society, but it is in Heavenly Father’s, as long as we are part of His flock.

Daily routines are often disparaged for a variety of reasons, many of which I have espoused.  But age just as often provides perspective that is unavailable to younger people.  I believe that my life is constructed from myriad small decisions and the cumulative impact of daily routines, whether productive or destructive.  I would counsel younger people to be cautious about the routines they establish because, if dutifully pursued, they will bear fruit even if the fruit surprisingly is bitter when at last it ripens.

Early this morning I studied a talk given by Elder Lance B. Wickman, titled But If Not. In this talk Elder Wickman dealt with the “why” questions.  The “why” questions can often be heart wrenching.  On one occasion I wondered why something had occurred contrary to my hope and expectation.  An answer did come but it came twenty years later.  Regardless of the timing I was incredibly appreciative of receiving an answer because it taught me to more fully trust a loving Heavenly Father.  The “why” questions play an important, perhaps essential, role in consecrating our will to the Lord.  Trusting God without complete or even partial understanding allows our will to be swallowed up in His.  If one can submit their will to God unconditionally, the sweet comfort of divine peace can still the unsettled soul even without understanding.  Trusting God enough to defer understanding will ultimately result in the Savior wiping away all tears from all faces.   They will one day prostrate themselves at the feet of the Savior and wash his feet with a flood of grateful tears.  The price of reaching this point can be terrifying and painful but the Savior has already experienced your anguish and fear and made it His.  He will grant the gift of peace until understanding comes.  Unconditional trust in God will sustain a person through the process of confronting the inevitable “why” questions that mortality will inevitably offer.

Early this morning I listened again to Brad Wilcox’s talk, His grace is Sufficient.  I love that talk but I love the Savior’s grace even more.  Grace is something that was rarely discussed during my youth, and if it was mentioned it wasn’t in a positive way.  It was looked upon as contrary to God’s plan of salvation, completely overshadowed by the emphasis on works.  We found fault with Born Again Christians for their emphasis on grace without the necessity of works in tandem.  In doing so, I think we were as guilty in our own way of focusing on our works without ever including the doctrine of grace in the conversation.  As I have matured in the Gospel, I have come to see how each is a necessary component of the equation of salvation.  An incorrect understanding of this sweet combination can cause one to err regarding the true nature of God’s plan of redemption.  Brother Wilcox clearly welds those two elements together in a way that anyone can understand.  A correct understanding of grace draws me nearer the Savior, bringing me to my knees in the process.  I stand all amazed at His willingness to bear all our ills and to cancel the effects of the Fall. 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is either what it claims to be or it is not.  There is no middle ground.  God has offered to confirm its truth if one is an honest and genuine seeker of truth and prepared to act upon the truth that is given.  I recognize there are questions, both contemporary and in the past, that cause people concern about what they have believed with regards to the Church’s origin and its current operation.  Many have issues with the Church’s doctrine or policies.  Over the yearsI have encountered things that I didn’t understand.  Had I focussed on them and allowed them to erode my core beliefs, my testimony could have been in jeopardy.  Not everything that’s encountered with anti Church bias will prove to be true, either in part or in totality.  For me, my belief isn’t centered on peripheral issues.  I believe that certainty regarding the claims made by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints regarding its divine origin and continued divine guidance is available to any true seeker of truth.  I don’t believe God will dispense spiritual assurance to those whose motive is simply curiosity.  One must seek a sure witness by possessing real intent, the intent to act upon the assurance of truth when it comes.  So, for a person who wishes to know the truth about the origin and continued destiny of the Church, they must seek answers to the following questions:

• Does God exist?
• What is the nature of God?
• What is my relationship with God?
• Is Jesus Christ the Son of God?
• Does God speak to mortals?
• Did Joseph Smith see and converse with God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ? 
• Is the Book of Mormon exactly what it claims to be?

For me, these are the core questions that lead to truth.  If appraised honestly, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is either exactly what it claims to be or it is not.  There is no in between.  If it is true, and I believe that it is, its message is of inestimable value and would change anyone’s life for the better not only in mortality but have eternal implications as well.  If it is not true, then your guess is as good as mine as far as our purpose on this planet.  For practical purposes, I would begin with the last question listed above.  This book is something you can hold in your hand.  You can read it and ponder it.  It is something that could not be duplicated by anyone void of divine assistance.  It is tangible evidence of its divine origin.  If it is true, and I believe it is, then Joseph Smith is telling the truth about its origin.  If the Book of Mormon is of divine origin as claimed, then Joseph Smith is the prophet of God he declared himself to be.  His declaration of the reality and divinity of God the Father and His Son is also true.  God’s existence is not only verified but our relationship with Him is made plain.  After experiencing God personally, after having a Spiritual witness and confirmation regarding the above truths, the peripheral questions fall into their rightful place and one can patiently wait for a more expanded perspective as additional information becomes available.   Joy D. Jones said, “Eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about.”  With that in mind I offer this advice.  Believers have an affirmative assurance that what they believe is true.  Non believers usually default to not believing rather than paying the price to affirmatively assure your position.  If you choose not to believe, I would encourage you to seek an affirmative assurance that your choice to not believe is indeed founded upon truth.  There is no middle ground between true and false.  If it isn’t one, it’s necessarily the other.

In the book of 1 John 4:18, the apostle John says this about love, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment.  He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”  For many years I pondered on how love could cast out fear.  We all encounter fear in our lives, in one of many ways.  Fear and uncertainty seem to be siblings.  I liken it to watching a football game, or any athletic endeavor, and being anxious about many things during the course of the contest because I didn’t know what the outcome would be.  I often had a vested interest in the outcome, enhancing my angst during the game.  But if I recorded the game and knew the final score before I watched the game, I didn’t fret in the least about mistakes or misfortune during the game because I knew how it ended.  If life could be compared to watching these games, we confront many situations that terrify us because we don’t know how things will end.  It frightens us because so often we have no control over the outcome.  We are at life’s mercy.  However, God knows how the game of life will end.  He knows the end from the beginning.  If we love God, our trust in Him and His outcomes, regardless of what that may be, will sustain us when circumstances are uncertain, even though they aren’t uncertain to Him.  If I love Him, I will trust Him because I know His outcomes will only benefit me, not only here but also for eternity.  The power of divine love can cast out fear because it frees one from worrying about the outcome.  Though difficult at first, once trust in God has been affirmed repeatedly, it becomes quite liberating to surrender any outcome to God.  I don’t know how the game will end but He does, and I can implicitly trust Him and accept the outcome He prefers for me.  Surrendering all of our uncertain outcomes to Him, by loving and trusting Him, because of His loving goodness, dispels the fear of an unwelcome outcome.  It’s a beautiful doctrine with magnificent implications for living our lives.  Elder Neal A. Maxwell expresses it better than I can,  “We can also further develop our submissiveness to God’s will, so that amid our lesser but genuinely vexing moments we too can say, ‘Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). When heartfelt, this expression of obedience constitutes real petition followed by real submission. It is much more than polite deference. Rather, it is a deep yielding in which one’s momentary uncertainty gives way to the certainty of Father’s rescuing love and mercy, attributes which drench His plan of salvation.”

Our Come Follow Me study today discussed something they referred to as fence laws.  Fence laws are barriers people place around the true doctrines of the Gospel to protect them from encroachment.  Many of the Jewish laws that Scribes and Priests developed over hundreds of years would be considered fence laws.  The problem occurs when these fence laws become weighted the same or greater than God’s laws.  It was obvious from the discussion that parents often produce a variety of fence laws that stand in the place of the true doctrines and principles of God.  I could easily see that I had been guilty of such a practice.  These fence laws act as insulation between those for whom they were intended and God’s true laws.  These fence laws then impede a person’s ability to connect to God directly which can be spiritually debilitating.  It’s important we can recognize the difference between God’s laws and these fence laws we create around the pure truths.

This morning I read and pondered a talk given by Elder Randall K Bennett titled Your Next Step.  He begins by addressing how many perceive the gap between us and God to be insurmountable.  I think many deal with this disparity by simply eliminating God, thus eliminating the gap.  I don’t believe those in this group are at all concerned about the gap.  Rather, they simply eliminate God from their personal equation because they think it eliminates any guilt their life choices may induce.  Others see the gap as being significant to their future but impossibly distant and insurmountable so they just quit trying to close the gap, thus eliminating themselves from the equation.  Either way, the gap remains.  I believe both of these perceptions are taken from the Devil’s handbook.  He doesn’t care which part of the equation one eliminates, the result is the same.  The Doctrine of Christ dispels both misperceptions.   The Doctrine of Christ acknowledges the impossibility of man bridging the gap between man and God if left to one’s own capabilities.  Such a gap was anticipated and part of the divine plan for the salvation and exaltation of all mankind. (Ether 12:27)  Jesus Christ, the firstborn child of heavenly parents, was chosen to act as an intermediary between God and man.  This sacred role required a sinless life so that His offering on behalf of all the rest of God’s children would satisfy the full demands of God’s justice.  Perhaps even more enlightening is that not only does Christ balance the scales of justice, but by taking upon Himself all of mankind’s sins, frailties, weakness, pain, suffering, injustice, and categorically every negative aspect of life produced by the fall of Adam, He possesses the compassion and ability to succor any hapless soul from the rigors of mortality.  He has overcome the gap (2 Nephi 2:5-9) for all who will embrace His sacred gift and bind themselves to Him by sacred covenant.  This enables the willing to engage the Savior’s power to overcome all of the Fall’s negative consequences.  He becomes one’s personal Savior and Redeemer, helping them, in a very personal and loving way, to traverse the gap between fallen man and exaltation.  He provides the belief that such help is readily available, that He wants God’s children to partake of His gift by working with Him and relying upon Him to successfully eliminate the gap by arriving back into the presence of God.

It’s Palm Sunday.  While pondering the Savior’s magnificent gift to all mankind, my thoughts sauntered to a few verses in Hebrews chapter 12.  “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.  Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.”  Much strikes me in these verses but this morning one phrase stood out to me, “looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.”  Our faith must be rooted deeply in the Lord, Savior, and Redeemer Jesus Christ.  Our faith begins there.  Saving faith would not exist without Jesus because there would be no Savior.  Even though the great plan of reclamation and redemption was God the Father’s it was Christ whose atoning sacrifice gave eternal life to the plan of the Father.  My faith is weak.  It vacillates depending upon a variety of variables.  As was identified in the first verse above, running the salvational race from our mortal habitat to God’s throne can be a daunting experience.  Even discounting that the race couldn’t be run without Christ’s sacrifice to satisfy justice, if not for Christ’s shepherding encouragement all along the way, this particular race would be too long for anyone to finish.  So not only does Jesus mark the course and run it first successfully, but He gives everyone a reason to run, runs with anyone willing to allow Him to join them, and when mortal energy is insufficient, He provides divine help, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

The Book of Mormon is the fulcrum upon which the truth of the restoration is balanced.  If the Book of Mormon is true then Joseph Smith was indeed who and what he said he was.   One cannot lightly dismiss the testimony of those witnesses who saw and handled the plates and whose testimony never faltered regardless of some who became alienated from the Church.  From my perspective, in addition to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost affirming the truth of the Book of Mormon, I believe the greatest evidence of the truth of the Book of Mormon is the book itself.  Joseph Smith translated it in its entirety in a little under 60 working days.  Given the intense scrutiny to which it has undergone for almost 200 years, how can one explain a book of such magnificence being produced in such a short time by an uneducated young man in his 20’s?  Any person who will genuinely search its sacred truths with a heart intent upon responding to its divine invitations will find their own witness of its truthfulness.  In addition, try this experiment offered by Elder Marion G. Romney of the First Presidency, “I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness.”

Every day I become increasingly aware of my own mortality.  The frailty of my mortal body with its attendant and increasing pains and weakness, coupled with my decreasing capacity to do things I’ve always done is an ever present reminder of my inevitable appointment with death.  Death is an essential step in the process of redemption and salvation.  It isn’t to be feared unless one has postponed choosing to believe in and accept God by repenting and striving to become more like Him.  For those faithfully on the covenant path, death will produce tears of absence but also reinstate eternal relationships with loved ones who preceded us beyond the veil.  Our capacity to be actively engaged in God’s work in the spirit world will increase as it rolls forth to a glorious triumph.  Death itself is a laying aside of the mortal body we so anxiously awaited while watching and waiting for Adam and Eve to open the gates of mortality.  Our fallen, mortal condition provided physical bodies subject to weakness, illness, and ultimately death.  But they also provided myriad experiences and feelings we had never previously known.  It was glorious in many ways but challenging in others.  The Lord’s glorious resurrection provides a glorious reunion with our own mortal bodies at some point in the future but without any of mortality’s limits.  As anxiously as we once waited for a mortal body, we will likewise wait for our own glorious, resurrected body with all of its marvelous eternal potential.  This process of change and exchange is only possible through the Atonement and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  That alone would bring all of God’s children to their knees in humble gratitude.

While being with the Bishop while he conducted interviews this afternoon he mentioned that a family living within the ward boundaries but who are not members of the Church don’t have any food.  Unfortunately, the Bishop’s Storehouse doesn’t open until Tuesday.  I told him that I could go to Walmart on Monday to get them some food to tide them over until Tuesday.  He then went in for his last interview.  During that time I felt impressed to go to Walmart to get some food today.  When he finished his interview I mentioned to him I felt that I should go today to get the food.  He smiled and told me that he’d had the same impression while in his interview.  So after finishing with my responsibilities at the church I went home and changed my clothes and shopped on Sunday.  I purchased enough things to sustain this family until Tuesday when a food order could be procured.  I felt the love of the Lord as I did this.  I thought of the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and Scribes and realized that had I not purchased the food until tomorrow I wouldn’t have been any different than they were with regards to the Sabbath.

Elder Bednar’s talk given in the last conference was titled, “Abide in Me and I in You; Therefore Walk with Me.”  I’ve read it three times so far.  It certainly had an effect on me, particularly listening to it when at the end Elder Bedar’s voice changed and I could tell how deeply he felt about Christ’s gift of atoning grace.  I am familiar with people who think this great gift can heal everyone else but not themselves.  Such restraints on His Atonement don’t exist.  Its sacred impact is both infinite and eternal.  However, the part of his talk that struck me most was the doctrine taught by Alma wherein he likened the word to a seed which we can plant in our hearts.  If the seed is a true seed, and if we make a place for it to grow and care for it, it will sprout and grow into a tree which will, in due time, produce fruit.  This fruit, Alma says, will be most precious, and sweet above all that is sweet and white above all that is white.  Elder Bednar said the seed we plant is the word; the life, mission, and doctrine of Jesus Christ.  He indicated the fruit represents the blessings of Christ’s Atonement.  All of this led to him asking if Jesus resided in the fleshy tables of our hearts or was still outside of us.  We are certainly aware of Christ but have we neglected to open our hearts and invite Him to actually abide with us?   His invitation for us to abide with Him is ever present but it won’t happen until We open our hearts to Him and allow Him to be the most important thing in our lives, our choices, and our priorities.  Binding ourselves to Christ through covenant is an invitation to walk with Him, experience life with Him, to know that with Him as a companion we have no need to fear anything.  It was a powerful talk.  It’s a powerful doctrine.  But it’s only powerful if we allow it to occur within us, rather than only with others.  I invite each of you to open your heart to Him, even if you have no more than the smallest desire to believe.  Let this tiny desire work in you as a seed, His Holy Word, until it grows into a mighty tree whose fruit is eternal and sweet above all else.

I sometimes wonder if we, and I include myself, really understand and appreciate the magnificent gift of moral agency.  The right to choose is sacrosanct in God’s great plan.  Lucifer’s attempt to usurp God’s power and claim His throne was an attack on individual moral agency.  God gave this extended version of agency to mankind while Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden.  It has always been present, hence the tussle in the pre mortal life but it holds a preeminent role in essential mortal experience.  One’s right to choose for themselves is the fulcrum upon which all action is balanced.  And as with a fulcrum, eternal agency is ultimately the choice between only two outcomes.  On one hand one may choose to believe and obey God’s will.  On the other hand, one may choose not to believe and obey God’s will.  Ultimately those are the only two choices.  Obviously we encounter a wide variety of choices that impact our lives daily that we would never connect with ultimate outcomes.  But each choice impacts us and will either lead us closer to or farther away from God, regardless of how innocent the choice may seem at the time.  Moral agency allows God to hold each person accountable for their choices and where those choices will ultimately lead.  Because each person is born with the Light of Christ, they have a basic understanding of the difference between right and wrong.  The choice then belongs entirely to us.  We have been given the sacred power to determine the course of our own life.  That power first surfaces within the confines of our own thoughts.  Our thoughts lead to action and action produces a consequence.  We have been given the power to determine what thoughts we embrace and which to discard.  Each thought is a player making an entry onto the stage of your mind.  You can either enjoy and embrace the thought or remove them from the stage.  Over time you will find that these little dramas, played out in your mind countless times, will ultimately determine what you become.  That is indeed power, your power, given to you by God.  You can either believe and embrace God’s gift or you can choose to disbelieve in God and yield your choices to one who would much prefer you worship him instead.  The subtleness of evil outcomes, originating with Lucifer, will come back to haunt you.  Despite being advertised as the opposite, any evil choice and its corresponding outcome will invariably result in misery and suffering.  But if you choose to believe God and accept what He offers, the inevitable outcome will be joy, peace, and unlimited possibility.

This morning I listened to a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland at BYU titled, A Saint Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  For some reason, this talk spoke to my soul in ways it never had before.  He spoke of the purpose of our mortal lives and some of the implications of that, even enjoyable ones.  He spoke of how difficult confronting some of mortality’s more disdainful experiences can be.  Yet through it all, He testified of God’s glorious goodness.  Those two things are often found by many to be incongruent, and from a purely mortal perspective, I couldn’t argue.  But God’s perspective is never constrained by mortal lenses.  His perspective is far more expansive, being restrained by neither time nor space.  His view is eternal and far beyond our comprehension which requires us to exercise faith and trust in Him and His Holy purposes.  He mentioned how some withhold forgiveness, for a variety of reasons, none of which will expunge our personal responsibility to forgive, regardless of the pain of offense.

As I’m sure you know, my love of growing flora took root on my Grandpa Brown’s farm.  Upon owning my own land, one of the first things I did was prepare the soil for a garden.  It was horrendous soil, clay so hard that even a tractor driven tiller couldn’t penetrate it.  It had to be plowed first and then tilled.  Even then, all that remained was clods formed as if cured in a kiln.  It took a few years before I was able to alter the composition of my garden soil.  Among the favorite things I grew over the 41 years of gardening were:  Peaches, apples, sweet corn (Serendipity variety), watermelons, cantaloupe, sweet peppers, strawberries, raspberries, and of course, pumpkins.  The pumpkins engendered joy that came from watching children hunt through the patch for their favorite pumpkin.  Growing things, especially plants that produce produce, provides life lessons that may be learned from being at nature’s mercy.  This morning I was studying the words of Paul and he mentioned the fruits of the Spirit.  I thought, how like the fruits of a garden are the fruits of the Spirit, though in a spiritual way.  The fruit doesn’t come before the planting and nourishing of any spiritual gift or experience.  Often patient waiting is involved in the spiritual harvest as much, if not more, than the garden harvest.  If one’s eyes are open, they will see many correlations between physical and spiritual things, one testifying of the other.

I was thinking this morning about the power of perspective.  Looking at something from a different location or point of view can often render a significantly different outcome, often revealing truth and obscuring falsehood.  Far too many conversations are derailed because of a difference in perspective rather than a difference in reality.  In Lehi’s dream of the tree of life, Satan’s intent to blind the eyes and harden the hearts of those searching for the tree of life is compellingly informative.  The adversary desires that mortal perspective be restricted as much as possible so that his preferred focus is displayed more predominantly without competition that could potentially clear the mud from his muddy waters.   Conversely, the Lord invites all to expand their perspective by believing in Him and what becoming His disciple can offer.  Indeed, Jesus is not just a magnificent teacher and motivator.  He is much more than that.  Unlike any other mortal, He is the literal Son of God, with power to overcome physical death and unlock the prison of spiritual death for all who so desire by accepting His terms of release.  But even more, He is the Mighty Jehovah, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Moses and others were allowed glimpses of the grandeur of an unfathomable universe which He created under His Father’s direction.  Despite His majesty, He walked upon the earth in the guise of humanity, experiencing mortality along with the rest of us.  But unlike us, when death called, he willingly submitted to it though death had no claim on Him.  And also unlike us, He, sired by immortal God, had power to overcome death and open the door for all other mortals to triumph over death as a merciful gift, given freely to all.  After escaping the tomb that proclaimed His death, He ascended to His Father before returning to manifest Himself to thousands as the living reality of His resurrection.  Can one believe in Him and ignore the limitless possibilities He offers to all mankind.  The limits of our perspective are self-inflicted.  He offers the perspective of eternity, of the divine potential each mortal possesses.  His willingness to stand between us and God’s justice, frees all repentant mortals from the bitterness of their own sins, having taken them upon Himself and suffering sufficiently to satisfy the demands of that justice, something that must have pained His Father as much as it pained Him.  Each of us has two options, and two options only.  We can either choose Christ and accept all that he promises us, opening the way to unimaginable possibilities, or we can reject Christ, thus throwing in our hat with Lucifer, the evil one, whose only intent is for us to suffer to the extent he does.  The perspective of truth compared to its opposite is incredibly stark.  It’s as different as day and night.  So why is it so difficult for some to distinguish the difference?  It’s because their perspective is so restricted by their choices in life that they can’t see the difference.  They have become so spiritually myopic that they are blinded to the truth, to reality.  Remember Lehi’s dream.  That is reality.  Eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about. (Joy Jones)

This morning I had the sweetest spiritual experience.  I got up early and began reading The Message, the Meaning, and the Multitude by Elder Holland.  A little later in the morning, I was sitting in the truck alone, in the shade of a huge tree while waiting.  I finished reading Elder Holland’s talk there.  As I did so, a solemn yet sweet feeling of peace settled over me and I felt the love of God.  It was so poignant that tears flowed freely.  It was as my past began to parade before my eyes.  I began to see how different my life had been because of Jesus and His sacred gift of atonement.  I realized how blessed I have been.  Even in my darkest days, hours, and even moments, when life seemed so meaningless, when hope had shriveled to near nothing, I could see Him there.  He was never far from me.  His love was manifested in myriads of ways and I could sense His care and concern for me.   I was swept away with my love for Him, my heart full of gratitude for Him, for His divine patience and loving kindness.  I came to understand that without Christ, my life would have been like rowing uphill in a turbulent stream against a powerful current, with oars too short, headed nowhere.  It’s impossible to express in words what I experienced and felt this morning under the shade tree, alone in the truck, waiting for the world to begin again.

Our time upon this earth was foreordained to be a culmination of so many things.  It would include the restoration of the Gospel of God, the growth of the Lord’s Kingdom on earth, and especially the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ in glory.  His coming would usher in a thousand years of peace and righteousness which would silence the adversary for a time.  The earth would be returned to its paradisiacal glory.  Zion would return and join the New Jerusalem.  However, before these marvelous events will occur, the Saints of God upon the earth in mortality will be required to fight for truth against a numerically overwhelming foe.  Indeed the adversary has swelled his ranks and become brazenly bold in his efforts to thwart the work of God.  Were it not for prophetic utterance that assures the Saints of a victorious outcome, one’s faith might wither in the heat and pressure of the enemy.  I don’t know how long I will live and consequently how much of this evil oppression I will live to experience so may I share with you some things that will act as your shield and sword.  The Book of Mormon gives us guidance for living in a world governed by a populace who have sworn allegiance to the enemy of all good and whose mission is to see that all others are as miserable as he is.  The faith of previous Saints was always centered and rooted in Jesus Christ.  I encourage you to become acquainted with him personally, not just know about Him, but get to know Him.  He will sustain you in every affliction.  Regardless of what the adversary would have you believe, the manifestation of his power is only an illusion.  Real power rests solely with the God of Heaven and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ.  Anchor yourselves to Christ, look to him always, trust Him.  Remember His mighty hand which liberated the children of Israel from Egyption overlords.  Remember all of the times He protected and delivered His covenant people.  You need not fear the enemy, regardless of their appearance.  The power the adversary wields isn’t power at all.  His is a power of intimidation through the lives of mortals on the earth who have yielded themselves to his nefarious ways.  All of that darkness will be dispersed by the rays of eternal glory emanating from the coming Lord.  Stay close to Him.  The victory is His.  It always has been and always will be.  Yoke yourself to Him and never let go, no matter what.

Impatience is one of the more subtle sins.  Contrarily, patience, or longsuffering as it is often referred to in the scriptures, is a significant component of the divine nature of the Gods.  How could God deal with the extensive and repulsive aberrant behavior of His children if not for inexhaustible patience.  Our mortal experience, particularly with loved ones, provides an ideal environment to develop patience and overcome impatience.  I don’t think impatience is something often identified as sinful and just as infrequently targeted as a weakness that needs attention and change.  Nature itself tutors us about patience.  We never harvest on the same day we plant.  We must allow the process of growth to play out before the joy of the harvest can be experienced.  Waiting for something either needed or wanted is commonplace.  It is a characteristic with which I have wrestled for a significant portion of my life.  This morning I came upon some of Elder Maxwell’s thoughts on patience which heightened my intent to work with more urgency in diminishing my impatience, especially with others.  He said, “impatience with a spouse may occur while a more public challenge is managed quite well”.  It’s interesting to me that one can so easily recognize some character flaw in others but ignore it in themselves.  Hence, thorough and persistent self assessment is necessary for celestial growth and progress, regardless of the pain self incrimination may produce.  In another vein of perspective, waiting upon the Lord can be excruciating at times, but then again, experiencing our impatience and the consequences such impatience can produce, must have been excruciating for the Savior as he bore such things in our behalf.

The other day I was thinking about what life was like when I was in high school in the 60’s.  Research was certainly more onerous then than it is now.  Information was contained in and most usually limited to books or some other form of the written word.  Searching for answers or information of any sort was much more laborious, tedious, and often unfulfilling.  And when information was found, the information had to be extracted by handwritten note cards.  Copy machines were non-existent.  Often the time between the origin of the information and finding its way to me was extensive.  Typing research reports was not an easy task.  Spelling help was a dictionary.  Cutting and pasting was done with scissors and paste.  Corrections were made with Whiteout.  As I write these words this morning I take for granted how easy it is to replicate those student experiences in a tiny fraction of the time it now takes.  Now, information is as air; all around us, ever present, sometimes clear, and other times smoggy and dangerous.  Much has changed during my lifetime.  Any search for needed information is subject to algorithmic attention that provides new streams of information aligned with your interest, welcome or not.  And while the methodology has changed significantly, what we do with the information has not.  Information is either true or not.  Just because a source of information is listed first in a Google search doesn’t necessarily authenticate its veracity.  Truth has become a byword for many, having been replaced by a personally comfortable, convenient relativism.  In this tsunami of information that washes over us daily, crying for our attention, is information which is both true and false.  Among the false is that which is evil, some which is pernicious and vile, some deceptively harmful, and some simply distracting that can rob one of the possibilities truth offers.  Rather than embracing eternal, unchanging truth, many now believe truth is whatever one wants it to be.  As a believer in eternal truth established by an almighty God, the Creator of all things, I accept truth as unchanging, non negotiable, which is currently an unpopular belief.  But for those of a like mind, how can truth be distinguished from error?  The ability to make such distinctions accurately may very well be a pillar of salvation in the days ahead.  I refer you to Moroni chapter 7 in the Book of Mormon for guidance.

Serving as the executive secretary in our Ward allows me a perception that few are allowed.  One sees much of true devotion to God and the building of His Kingdom on the earth.  But it also exposes weaknesses as well as strengths.  One thing that is constantly at the forefront of these observations is wondering why so many temple recommend holding Saints fail to bear their share of weight for building the Kingdom?  Even trivial, but essential things, such as cleaning the church weekly, helping a family either move in or out of the ward, fixing and providing a meal to someone in need, visiting with others to build everlasting relationships, sharing the most important message God has sent to earth, and consecrating their lives are most often accomplished by a small group of the same people.  Is it because we love other things more than we love God as He loves us?  Or is it because we really don’t believe?  Or worse, don’t we want to believe?  Our love for Him will always be manifested best by our loyalty to Him and His work, by our willingness to keep His commandments, and by how we treat others.  In every congregation are many who desperately need a friend, whose lives have not gone as hoped or planned, whose hopes and dreams lie smoldering in the ashes, whose hearts have been broken by those they love, some by those they trusted most, those who carry the heavy load of unrepentant sin, some who feel their sins are beyond the pale of Christ’s forgiveness, many whose purpose in life has long since vanished, many who fear the uncertainty of life, many who feel the responsibilities of life are just too heavy, who don’t know the joy of the saints, and there are far too many who have yet to experience God’s love for them in a personal way.  Isn’t addressing such meaningful needs the very essence of God’s Holy, eternal work, regardless of how inconvenient such love and service may be?  In doing so, we become like Him and know the joy He knows.

My life, as well as the lives of everyone else, has been duly acquainted with uncertainty and the fear which so often accompanies it.  It’s easy to feel like we are in control in life, but things arise that remind us, sometimes painfully, that having control of one’s circumstances is merely an illusion.  There is One who is in control of all things, but it isn’t us.  So much of existential influence is provided by power beyond our ability to have or control.  We are deeply dependent upon things entirely beyond our control.  I suppose that’s why we strive so hard to gain control in our lives, and ironically in the lives of others, particularly the ones we love.  It’s as if we are grasping for a toehold in foreign territory.  Also ironically, the One who wields the only power over all things is the One who tenaciously guards the right of all to make their own choices, thus muddying the water considerably.  The very breath that sustains life is granted one breath at a time and that lasts minutes at most.  Everything upon the earth that sustains life was designed and created by the One great Creator who is omnipotent.  Rather than flailing around helplessly trying to keep the oars aligned in the lifeboat, one’s time would be much more beneficially employed striving to adhere to the kind counsel of Him who created not only the materials that allowed construction of the boat, but the water in which the boat is cast.  Far too often one’s focus is on the creation rather than the Creator.  And while admiring the creation can flood one with humble awe, it will still be only the Creator who is worthy of such awe.  Unlike the mortal environment in which we now live, all things associated with God and His environment are infused with certainty.  The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob never changes.  He is certain.  He can be relied upon without equivocation.  His promises are sure and His love is not only immeasurable but eternally expressive.  In a world of uncertainty, one can with assurance tie their boat to the one true mooring that will overcome any tidal fury or vicious storm.  He is the true certainty for which we should strive and abandon any vain efforts to save ourselves in storms that rage far beyond our meager mortal efforts to still.  Christ is the master of certainty to which the knaves of discord, contention, uncertainty, and chaos must bow.

As vicious political polarization continues to escalate into becoming hell itself, I am pained deeply.  I have forfeited my membership in the Republican Party and fail to see anything better in the Democratic Party.  I consider those in both parties who are located on the extreme edge, a line which grows fatter every day, to be traitors to all for which this country stands.  I love this country.  I believe firmly in its divine origin and purpose.  I revel in the miraculous occurrences that helped produce independence from an overbearing despot.  I marvel at the capacity to compromise among men of various and selfishly ingrained positions that ultimately laid aside their own needs in order to unselfishly forge a bond that granted freedom and opportunity to others.  There were many who were  instrumental in both the fight for freedom and its constitutionalism.  But one figure stands above the others in my mind and heart; George Washington.  He was a giant of a man in many ways but I would particularly like to focus this morning on his views regarding political parties.  Currently, these two major political parties have adopted the same stance as warring countries, full of hatred for the other and totally incapable of seeing anything good in the opposition but rather perceiving them as evil incarnate so that compromise is perceived as defeat.  In Washington’s farewell address given on September 19 1976 as he stepped away permanently from public service, he said this; “I have already intimated to you the danger of Parties in the State, with particular reference to the founding of them on Geographical discriminations. Let me now take a more comprehensive view, & warn you in the most solemn manner against the baneful effects of the Spirit of Party, generally. This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human Mind. It exists under different shapes in all Governments, more or less stifled, controuled, or repressed; but in those of the popular form it is seen in its greatest rankness and is truly their worst enemy. The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge natural to party dissention, which in different ages & countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders & miseries, which result, gradually incline the minds of men to seek security & repose in the absolute power of an Individual: and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of Public Liberty.”

Each morning I raise the curtain on our window in the dining room and look out over the plants in our backyard.  One of the things that fascinate me is the variety in the pace of growth in various plants.  The full size oleanders grow rapidly.  We have a pink oleander against the south wall that winter killed which required significant pruning almost to the ground.  But now it’s already four feet tall.  Our little peach tree, which was about four inches tall in the early spring, is now over three feet tall.  However, we have a variegated century plant which has grown only a few inches in two years.  While the rapid growers demand more visual attention, the sturdy but slow growers possess beauty of their own.  Can one avoid the comparison of vegetative growth with the growth in people?  Our oleanders don’t yell belittling taunts across the yard to the century plant because of its miniscule growth rate.  Kids at school, however, relish opportunities to belittle others not up to their self perceived snuff.  Unkind words, spoken so carelessly, cut deeply into the inner flesh of a fragile psyche.  Such harm is not limited to unkind children.  There is no age at which the inclination to criticize others is out of style.  And while adults may be better at hiding such inner wounds than children, the effect caused by the stealthy stiletto strike of sharp words draws blood at any age. 

I know I’ve spoken of this previously but I believe it bears saying again.  Salvation and redemption are two doctrines which are often misunderstood.  Because these two  doctrines are critically important, especially from an eternal perspective, I want to touch upon them again, just a bit.  In the equation of salvation, we are the variable and Christ is the constant.  This infers that the value of the outcome is determined by the value of the variable but the value of the variable can change.  It can become more valuable or less, depending upon choices made by the variable.  The ultimate value of the outcome will be optimized by the variable’s willingness to be positively changed by the effect of the constant.  In this equation, the variable has a role only it can play, as does the constant.  Mischief creeps in when the variable tries to play the role of the constant, a role that only the constant can play.  The value of the outcome will be maximized when both the variable and the constant play the role intended and the variable avails itself completely of the enabling influence of the constant.  My thoughts on this topic run deeper than my words here.  Better understanding what my role actually is has helped me more effectively rely upon the merits of Him who is mighty to save (change).  I now understand in greater measure that only He can change my nature, only He can heal me from my mortal experience, only He can cleanse me of the stain of my sins as well as pay the price for them.  The covenants I make and keep with Him will allow the sweet combination of my willing desire to repent and follow Him (something only I can do) and His incomparable atoning sacrifice (something only He can do) to produce the sweetest of fruit.  Parenthetically, I understand this better than algebra.

My Book of Mormon study this morning included Ether chapter 15 and Moroni chapter 9.  Both chapters are depressingly burdensome to me.  To think of such potential, both mortally and eternally, wasted because they rejected God’s merciful grace saddens me every time I read it.  Realizing that prophecy foretells that such fatal scenes will again play on earth’s grand stage, but on an even grander scale, seems both foolish and a useless waste of divine potential.  I cannot fathom how wrenching this must be for even, and especially, the exalted heart of God.  And though salvation, in some measure, will at some point salve their scorched souls, there will be much anguished regret and painful payment for sins not abandoned much earlier in the process.  All of the pain, suffering, brutality, depravity, and devastation was needless had humble hearts been turned to Christ instead of toward him who plotted and persuaded men to such a miserable outcome.  Sad indeed.  Willful rebellion led to mortal annihilation.  The brutality of that process is heart-rending.  I think it’s important to examine more carefully how that destructive path began.  Such an enormous and final outcome began with the seeds of willful dissent rather than willful consent to keep God’s commandments.  As the Lord said, “out of small things proceedeth that which is great”.  While in this instance He was referring to being faithful to Him and recognizing that the small efforts to serve God would someday produce outcomes of a much grander nature.  However, this process also works contrariwise.  The adversary urges susceptible individuals to take small, even baby, steps away from God and toward Him.  At the time these miniature steps seem harmless simply because they appear to be of no seeming significance.  But they are.  They determine the direction one leans and leaning leads to moving in that direction.  In this case, away from God.  Really, it’s the little things, consistently applied that shape the direction of each and every life.  One must pay apt attention to the daily things that draw them either toward God or away from Him.  If away, and unchecked, the ultimate outcome will resemble the outcomes expressed in Ether 15, if not societally, then certainly personally.

In my opinion, one of the most unsung and under the radar aspects of Christ’s atonement is the gift of developmental space and time.  This concept was first introduced at the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.  Having partaken of the fruit of the tree of good and evil, their lives were changed in ways they couldn’t possibly have imagined.  A tragic misunderstanding of these events acts as a catastrophic doctrinal deterrent to God’s true plan of salvation.  The choice made by Adam and Eve was an absolute necessity for the channels of mortal life to be opened for the rest of God’s children.  The acquisition of a mortal body was an essential component of God’s plan to exalt His children.  But in so doing, Adam and Eve introduced death into this grand equation, both physical and spiritual death.  As a great gift to them, and by extension to us, God barricaded the tree of life, thus providing time between their transgression and the execution of the judgment pronounced upon them.  Just as death would later be an equally essential part of this divine process, the gift of developmental time in between birth and death was of the utmost importance.  I believe this time between birth and death, at least for most of us, is time for us to choose between good and evil, to determine what we want most, and to develop the nature to which we are inclined.  This probationary time also allows us the space to act for ourselves, experience the consequences of OUR choices and learn from them.  While often painful, it is certainly provocatively productive.  These personal lessons, freed from the immediate imposition of the ultimate consequences, allows us an experience that we will one day reflect upon, even with all of its blemishes, and praise God for His majestic mercy.  Retrospection will illuminate this marvelous plan far more eloquently than can I.

When I ponder the Savior’s pronouncement, “I am the way” I know it was the Savior’s answer to a problematic question asked by Thomas in response to the Savior’s declaration that He would soon be leaving them to prepare a place for them and that they knew the way to join Him.  Thomas’ exclamation that they didn’t know where He was going, and they certainly didn’t know the way, and furthermore, how could they know the way, could very well be something any of us would utter in a similar circumstance.  To this the Savior responded, “I am the way”.  One of the great perplexing questions that must arise in every mortal mind is, “is this all there is?”  In this brief exchange between Jesus and his apostles, that plaguing question was answered clearly and decisively.  There is more than just mortality.  In fact there is much more.  Our future is flooded with potential.  And the key to obtaining that potential is Christ.  He is the way, the truth, and the life.  Follow Him, do what He does, love the way He does, endure the way He does.  For if we choose to follow Him, we will end up where He is.  “If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be” John 12:26  Indeed, eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about.

I find Moroni chapter 10 to be incredibly hopeful as I contemplate my own inability to completely evict the natural man in me.  Verse 32 caught my attention this morning.  In conjunction with his invitation to come unto Christ and be perfected in Him, he invites all to deny themselves of all ungodliness.  In my mind, that word “deny” implies an act of agency, of personal choice.  While we can’t perfect ourselves, we can choose to deny ourselves of unrighteous or ungodly things.  We can choose to love God with all of our mind, might, and strength.  While it’s unlikely that we do this completely, or entirely, or even as consistently as we would like, we can choose each day to repent by striving to improve.  This is all within our ability to accomplish.  For those who chose to follow this path to Christ, His promise is rich with hope and power.  If we do as Moroni counsels, then will Christ’s grace be sufficient to perfect, or complete, our process of change.  Then and only then will we be able to become like Him.  Perhaps it’s wise to consider that denying the grosser sins, (the “shall not” sins) comes first in the process.  Sometimes these can be particularly challenging but with persistent desire and effort, combined with the grace of Christ, even the desire to commit such sin will wane and ultimately expire.  This movement from telestial to terrestrial law will continue to challenge one as the sins become more sophisticated though still tied to carnal cares.  To complete the process and have hope of celestial glory, an even greater challenge will present itself.  This challenge is the process of consecration, of letting go entirely of self, of one’s heart and will.  Consecration is a frequent scriptural topic but isn’t always identified as such.  Making and keeping covenants with God enables one to experience the divine refinement that comes by and through Him who yearns for us to become His disciples.  It is the combination of Christ’s power to atone, something we cannot do, and our willingness to to do that which is within the best of our ability to repent and improve that produces the sweetest savor of salvation in its fullness. 

I’d like to come back to patience if you have enough patience to bear a few more thoughts about it.  Without question, patience is a cardinal characteristic of God.  And by implication it is also a characteristic of all those seeking the divine nature of God’s presence and society.  Many strive to develop divine patience, but unfortunately, they want it now, they simply can’t wait.  Patience is manifest universally, from the planting of a seed to the awe of the cosmos and everything in between.  Waiting for something to develop can be excruciating at times.  Hence, impatience is far more prevalent than patience.  The hurtful word spoken in anger takes precedence over kind restraint.  Rushing to judgment before time can expose the truth can very often result in a later distasteful meal of crow.  Patience is necessary for growth and allows for understandable mistakes along the way, in ourselves as well as others.  Developing patience requires the passage of time but also more than mere waiting.  Patience is a triumph over our lesser inclinations.  It is the willing acceptance of unpalatable circumstances being only temporary, like a child waiting in line for an ice cream cone or as Christmas approaches.  Patience is the watering and done between seedtime and harvest.  It is the restraint of baser urges that will ultimately produce a far more bounteous harvest.  It is submissive evidence of one’s recognition that God’s clock doesn’t tick at the same pace as ours.  Patience is the seedbed for so many other glorious attributes of God.  How uncertain and perilous our lives would be if God was impatient.

Observing the process of Jo’s (my wife)  foot pain that led to surgery and its subsequent recovery created within my mind the similarities between her situation and the circumstances sin creates in a person’s life.  Previous surgical efforts to repair difficulties Jo had with her feet ultimately led to her current situation.  Jo had endured pain in her right foot for several years but recently the pain became so intense that she started to consider a surgical solution.  The pain continued to escalate until she decided to have the surgery.  A surgeon was recommended by a friend here in St. George.  A release from the pain was the focus of her thoughts.  A potentially long recovery was acknowledged but wasn’t at the forefront of her thoughts previous to surgery.  It was the pain, always the pain that was the paramount thought.  The surgery went well but within a few hours the surgery’s consequences began to emerge.  After the anesthesia had run its pleasant course, some pain returned for a time.  It dissipated over a few days until whatever pain she felt was entirely manageable.  What wasn’t so manageable was not being able to put any weight on her right foot and having to keep it elevated to prevent blood clots from forming.  The impairment of moving around with one knee on a scooter for support was no fun at all.  Being essentially tethered to a couch or bed got old fast.  Within hours her environment had shrunk considerably, leaving her with only a few options to while away the hours of boredom.   Knowing that weeks, rather than days, of stationary boredom lay ahead was a difficult pill to swallow. Reality set in with a definitive declaration that life would now be different.  She was at the mercy of time and other things beyond her control.  Certainly the hope of healing remains, as it should, but what would occur between now and recovery was of concern.  Contrastingly, engagement with sin produces some remarkable similarities to Jo’s journey.  Sin always, always produces pain and suffering.  That fact is inescapable.  Sin is contrary to the very nature of happiness and can never, never result in happiness.  Sin rarely jumps right to the most perilous levels, it is far more likely to begin small and escalate gradually.  A small sin is hardly even noticed, but with each committed sin, regardless of how insignificant it may be considered, creates a greater opportunity for sin’s allure to effectively entice.  That cumulative effect of sinning becomes more compelling with each sin.  Sins still ahead seem far less repulsive until the pain in one’s life is no longer manageable, nor can it be ignored.  One is coerced into considering a remedy, preferably painless, but such is not to be.  Sin’s dark consequences continued to press one down.  Life seems more restrictive, rather than liberating.  It becomes compressively restrictive.  Healing intervention will require excising behavioral patterns that have become deeply entrenched.  Perhaps periodically the current pain won’t seem as intolerable as imagined, but the more one procrastinates confronting the reality of a painful situation, the less likely healing will become reality.  Finding a reliable source of care may require some trial and error before the Balm of Gilead is found.  Initially the operation was painless, at least after mustering the courage to confess one’s sins to someone who could actually help.  The process of recovery was initially challenging because of the necessary changes.  It seemed to progress glacially and much frustration resulted from unmet expectations.  But over time, recovery became easier.  The days became less restrictive as healing occurred.  Until at last, the cast was removed, the sutures removed, and the bones healed.  The first tentative steps were cautiously tried but soon one’s pace quickened and joy was restored.  In both instances, the hope is that healing will swallow the pain of being healed.  I must confess that the likelihood of that happening will be absolutely certain if one submits to the will of Christ, the master surgeon. 

Some days my pondering opens channels of thought that stir my soul and bring tears to my eyes.  It’s as if communication from heaven is particularly available, far more so than usually.  One of the thoughts that came to me was the power of the Satanic doctrine of comparison.  I caught myself comparing myself to someone else but immediately caught it and stopped it.  But I realized how powerfully damaging this simple thing can be.  I see it everywhere in the lives of others and myself.  Regardless of how we compare ourselves to others, either way it will be damaging.  Depending upon how I see myself in comparison  to someone else I will either feel that I’m less than in some way, ultimately alienating me from God, or that I’m better in some way that will puff me up and ultimately alienate me from God.  Either way, the outcome is the same and the manifest desire of the adversary.  These little steps can escalate into something much more malignantly and destructive.  Comparison creates division.  Comparison erodes self esteem, which is actually inherent and does not depend on accomplishment or circumstance.  Comparison always stirs discontent and not in a productive way.  Comparison is competitive in nature and is the sibling of pride.  Christ offers each person the opportunity to believe in Him and come to Him and follow Him, regardless of circumstance, or perceived capacity.  He offers His limitless capacity to overcome everything of an evil nature to all who will engage Him.  It would seem that striving for such an exalted outcome would keep one busy and focused enough on their own challenges to avoid comparing themselves to others.  When looking at others, it would be best to always, always do so through the divine lens of love and a willingness to render the pure help love is ready to provide.  Comparisons will then fade away, freeing you from all of the wasted time and energy that can be spent on something that will never bring happiness.

The uncertainty of life is undermined by the certainty of change.  Circumstances rarely remain static.  It’s just part of life.  I still remember moving into an apartment in Broadmoor Village in West Jordan.  I knew that I had been led there but still, those first nights of sleeplessness, missing my children, wrought much excruciating pain into my life for several months.  One morning, I was particularly emotionally desperate due to an event that hit me hard.  It was obvious that my most recent alteration of circumstance was beyond my capacity to fix or change.  I was helpless in my pain.  I knelt at my bedside and pleaded with the Lord for help.  After much prayer I felt the sweetest peace wash over me and suddenly my anxiety and fear were dispelled.  The only impression that came was simply that this particular situation would be resolved to my complete satisfaction.  No details nor time frame accompanied the simple statement.  But the peace I felt was an unmistakable witness of its truth.  I felt at peace, calm, and untroubled though nothing regarding my situation had changed outwardly.  I thought then, and still often think of Paul’s words, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)  That morning there were no details to allow understanding to soothe my aching and fearful heart.  But there was peace that replaced understanding in a powerful way that eliminated the need for understanding.  I should certainly mention that several years later, the thing which had so beset me that morning was resolved to my complete satisfaction and became much to my advantage.  This account isn’t the only time this type of thing has blessed my life.  I testify of its reality and the sacred gift of certainty while in the throes of uncertainty.

While speaking the words of the sacramental prayer, one thing really struck me, “that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son”.  I began to ponder on what taking upon us the name of Christ actually means.  I’m sure I don’t know, but here are some of my thoughts.  The word “willing” is a striking reminder that everything we offer to God must be the result of our own choice.  It cannot be coerced or manipulated.  It’s a gift from us, acknowledging His magnificent gift to us.  This willingness to offer ourselves to God is pure worship, the most impactful worship.  This meek submissiveness to the will of God is the only real thing we can give God.  A willingness to bind ourselves to Christ through an eternal covenant has implications far beyond our ability to understand.  The willing acceptance of this divine covenant opens the door to a new relationship with Christ, one that He referred to as taking upon ourselves His yoke.  My perception of yoke may be different than those whose lives weren’t lived when yokes weren’t commonplace, like mine.  A yoke allows strong animals to move heavy objects by combining their individual strength.  It can also combine the strength of multiple animals to accomplish more than one or few could.  Certainly, in our fallen condition, estranged from God, returning to Him by becoming like Him seems like an impossible objective.  And for a person, by themselves, it is impossible to accomplish.  But if yoked to Christ, who bore the entire weight alone in our behalf, the combination of His omnipotence and our willingness to lend our meager measure can, without question, accomplish the impossible.  Taking upon myself His Holy Name inspires me to take full advantage of His incomparable gift.  It also states to all with whom I interact, I am striving to become like Christ regardless of my sometimes blatant inability to do so.  Still I continue to strive toward that glorious outcome.  I continue to repent and attempt to do better today than I did yesterday.  I want to be known as a disciple of Christ.  I want to relinquish the hold I have on Babylon and seek citizenship in the Kingdom of God.  I want to be better.  I want others to know I love Him and I want to honor and worship Him by the way I live.  I’m incredibly inadequate at accomplishing such an exalted outcome, but I want to stay with it.  My yearnings and strivings have accomplished one thing for certain.  I have come to better know Him.  I am in awe of His character and devotion to all who seek Him with genuine intent.  I will continue to strive toward Him and remember His gracious goodness daily.

Captivity is often mentioned throughout the scriptures as a result of one’s failure to keep God’s commandments.  It is manifest in a variety of ways, but one particular form of captivity is one’s own circumstances.  Circumstances can be self imposed or imposed by influences beyond one’s control.  But either way, being bound by one’s circumstances can be equally challenging.  This morning I focus on the circumstances that are self-inflicted.  Really, unpleasant circumstances that we bring upon ourselves are nothing more than the consequences of our own choices.  Choices don’t have to be sinful to produce circumstances that bind us and prevent us from a full range of future choices.  Certainly, sinful choices can alienate one from genuinely wanting God’s help and blessings, but choices that aren’t seen as significant can often turn out to be harmful, even devastating.  Reflecting upon the choices in my life, both minor and major, have had an impact in my life, both for good and ill.  I also have come to realize that making life choices is much like playing golf.  If one’s shot stays in the fairway, their next shot will likely be more successful than if the shot had landed in the rough.  Playing from the rough or any other obstacles on the course creates situations that tend to compound trouble.  One bad shot makes the next shot even more difficult, to the point that getting trapped in the rough can ruin an entire round.  One bad choice can easily lead to another as one tries to compensate for the consequences of the previous choice.  I can’t state strongly enough the need to watch one’s choices carefully.  The impact of choices can also ripple generationally, which will compound anguish and limit their opportunities.

My gospel study this morning began in Moroni 7, migrated to Moroni 10, and then concluded in D&C 84:45-48.  I’d like to share some thoughts.  Moroni spoke of motives for why people behave in certain ways.  In my experience, purifying motives is much more challenging than merely changing behavior.  Changing behavior is hard enough, especially without the Lord’s help, but aligning my motives to the purity required of celestial law is still way in the distance for me.  I think it’s important to recognize that all things originate from only one of two sources; God or the devil.  Distinguishing between the two can often be perplexing to some.  Moroni brings to bear an understanding that will allow anyone to correctly determine the origin of anything they may encounter or experience.  As a gift of Christ’s atonement, the Spirit (or Light) of Christ is given to every person born into mortality.  This Spirit creates within the mortal the inclination to determine right from wrong, often perceived as one’s conscience.  No mortal is left without divine direction as they navigate morality’s minefields and those created by the adversary.  The extent to which one lists one way or the other, by the power of their own agency, will determine the direction of the path they will follow, either toward God or away from Him.  There is no other choice.  Moroni teaches about the divine nature as he interweaves the eternal characteristics of faith, hope, and charity.  Significant pondering on those three divine qualities is highly recommended.  Moroni’s final thoughts are found in Moroni chapter 10.  His circumstance alone creates a validity to his words that should resonate with anyone.  Again he touches upon discerning truth from error and makes a solemn promise to those whose heart is genuinely seeking truth with the pure intent of acting upon the truth they seek.  This promise has some restrictions that keep the merely curious at arm’s length from their witness of truth.  I suspect this is just one more mercy God extends his children so as not to send truth from heaven to one whose heart is not yet ready to receive it.  Parenthetically, I consider the harvest of the heart to be akin to any harvest.  There must be much of soil softening to effectively embrace the seed and allow it to sprout.  Seeds spread on hard soil never have the environment eeded to sprout, grow, and produce a bountiful harvest.  The final words of Moroni’s final words are the yearning appeal to all to come unto Christ and be perfected in Him.  It is imperative that one comes to the realization that they cannot save themselves from mortality’s sentence of death.  Salvation comes from only one source, Jesus Christ, whose immaculate life enabled Him to return to God’s presence of His own accord.  His sacrifice paid the price justice demands and those who come to Him will not only be pardoned, but through His merciful grace be enabled to become like Him, full of faith, hope, and charity.  These celestial qualities are the characteristics of the new creature one may become when they have left the natural man behind.  D&C 84:45-48 sheds additional light on the process of salvation and redemption, highlighting the role of the Spirit/Light of Christ, in making choices.  The choice to follow the light will lead one to the true and living God, with whom they can make eternal covenants that will lead the faithful follower, who presses forward full of hope and charity, into the presence of God.  Could Moroni have chosen a more important topic to save for the last word?

I read a talk this morning by Elder Neal A. Maxwell titled Premortality: A Glorious Reality.  I highly recommend it to you.  Elder Maxwell perused some doctrines that came forth during the restoration of the Gospel as instructed by Joseph Smith.  These sweet doctrines answer, or at least enlarge our understanding of, the existential questions that have plagued mankind for millennia.  They expand the boundaries of existence and embrace the purpose for it all, giving meaning to a life on earth that is baron without them.  The expansion of such perspective broaches the purposes of God and our relationship  to both Him and His purposes.  His nature, as well as ours, shines as eternal light to illuminate mortal minds.  The vast implications that come from restoration’s doctrines are truly light shining in the darkness of ignorance or deception, perpetrated by the king of corruption and contention.  If all the world could be so informed and believing regarding these sacred restored doctrines, the world would be reformed into a more divine image.  It would create a world nearer to heaven than the world we currently inhabit.  I am strongly of the belief that such a glorious world awaits those whose lives will survive into the millennial reign of Jesus Christ subsequent to His glorious return to earth.

Sometimes my early morning ponderings provide interesting insights.  I was considering what it might be like to be teaching Gospel Doctrine again but this time in this Ward.  I imagined my first opportunity beginning with asking the question, “So what’s the problem”?  I wondered what responses such a query would elicit.  I thought surely there would be some uncomfortableness attendant to that question.  In my mind the question had existential portent.  Really, for each of us, what is our greatest problem?  Is it not death?  I can’t fathom a greater problem than that.  Are we adolescents strapped into some cosmic thrill ride barrelling through space with no operator in sight?  Many believe that in one form or another.  We will all confront death.  Is death then just the end of our brief existence?  If so, what meaning is there to life?  The Gospel of Jesus Christ answers most of the “why” questions that relate to our existence and purpose.   Everything we study in gospel classes is rooted to the reality of God and His divine purposes for us.  It is far more grandiose in scope and scale than the mortal mind can imagine but it is all woven together.  Everything gospel doctrine teaches is woven into one grand theme.  The more one studies the Gospel the more this essential theme emerges and the more beautiful the Gospel becomes.  I feel for those whose study is limited to bits and pieces without ever grasping the greater glory of it all.

We have a large white oleander in the northeast corner of our yard.  Today the rain accumulated enough on the branches to cause them to droop with the accumulated weight of the individual raindrops.  As I looked at that I realized that each raindrop doesn’t weigh much but when accumulation occurs, the weight is sufficient to bend the branches considerably.  I believe this is how sin works in a person’s life.  Little, even seemingly insignificant sins, by themselves have a minimal effect on a person’s life.  But when sins accumulate, regardless of how insignificant they may seem, the influence of the adversary in one’s life increases leading to an increase in the adversary’s power.  Over time, without any mitigation, one’s life can descend into a state of captivity that can be incredibly debilitating.  I have spent countless hours in my life weeding.  Removing the small weeds by pulling them up by the root was much easier and far more effective than allowing weeds to establish an extensive root system before attempting such an extrication.  The same applies to the sins in one’s life.  Taking care of them when new, little, and weak is far preferable to allowing them to grow and root into one’s soul before attending to them.  One’s desire to remove sin diminishes correspondingly to the time they are allowed to root.  Early evacuation is the preferred procedure. 

I pondered on the nature of worship.  We have a strong social culture in the Church that in some ways impedes pure worship.  I am of the opinion that being quiet doesn’t necessarily facilitate worship, but consequently almost always accompanies it.  To me, worship is connecting with God spiritually.  It is an acknowledgement of the mortal mind and heart that there is a great disparity between God and man.  I think too often, in our desire to make God accessible, we forget to remember that He is, indeed, the God and Creator of the Universe, of all things that are.  I think if the veil were nonexistent, our approach to God would be far different than our mortally feeble attempts.  I think there would be far more of falling to the ground, symbolizing our utter unworthiness to approach Him.  But in doing so, such humility would more readily invite His incomprehensible mercy upon us.  When the Holy Spirit connects me with God, there is a love shared that is indescribable.  It is a sacred union of minds and hearts.  My heart is filled with the desire to become like Him, even though without Him, such a desire would never be fulfilled.  Please note 1 Nephi 8:30.  In my mind, this single verse identifies an inner difference between those who approached the tree, partook of the fruit, and fell down, from those who didn’t fall down.  True worship is evidence of genuine desire to seek God by becoming more like Him.  It’s evidence is manifest in how we live, how we treat others, and how we strive to obey God’s commandments.  Our own individual worship grows as we strive to be near Him and matures with time as persistently pursued.

Elder John A. Widstoe once said, “The fall of Adam had made possible the earth experience, but another act was necessary . . . Someone must cancel out the effect of the fall.”  As one ponders the significance of that last phrase, it is certain that ultimately every single negative thing experienced or perpetrated in mortality will one day, Through the atoning gift of Jesus Christ and in ways impossible for the mortal mind to comprehend, be made right.  Of course individual agency will be involved but minds and hearts will be changed sufficiently to bring about such reconciliation.  Can one ever express sufficient gratitude for everything done by their Savior and Redeemer?  When our spiritual eyes are freed from the blinders of mortality we will see existence in an entirely new way that will cause us to fall to our knees and weep unrestrainedly as we truly recognize the Divine gift of Christ’s atoning sacrifice.

One thing I’ve noticed as a result of engaging so much of the standard works in such a relatively short time is the continuity of the gospel dispensations.  Through these dispensations, from the very first one, presided over by Adam, prophetic visions reached forward in time to reveal our dispensation, the dispensation of the fullness of times.  All previous dispensations have looked forward to ours because of its concluding consequences.  I don’t think we really appreciate how gloriously important our dispensation actually is.  It consists of the grand winding up scenes of the mortal experience on this earth.  Prior to the Savior’s coming again in Glory, great wickedness will be rampant and continue to flood the earth, preparatory to the earth being cleansed by fire.  This portion of the divine process often creates fear in the minds and hearts of the Saints.  But as dark as our circumstances may become, the outcome is emblazoned by divine light personified in Christ Himself.  The outcome is certain, regardless of the process that leads to it.  If the Saints treasure their covenants and hold fast to the prophetic guidance of God’s holy prophets until the Savior comes to reign personally on the earth, they will witness and experience some of the most potent, powerful, and miraculous events that God has ever bestowed upon His people.  The events of Israel’s deliverance from the bondage of Egypt will pale in comparison to Him delivering His Saints from the grasp of Hell’s clutches in our time.  For we as His covenant people will be in awe that our God will fight our battles and sustain us in all our uncertainty.  He will never desert us, for He cannot.  It is not His nature to do so.  He will be the strength and power upon which the Saints will rely when darkness seems so inevitable.  The accounts of the miracles and His mighty hand stretched forth to protect His people will be regaled over and over until every mortal heart has been humbled and attuned to God’s amazing mercy and they will all come to claim blessings extended to them in the premortal life, until every last mortal will have accepted Jesus as their personal Savior and Redeemer, accept God’s covenant offering, and worship Him with hearts swollen by gratitude for that which He makes possible.  What time period upon earth could be more magnificent than this one?

I marvel at how many lives are difficult as a result of the consequences of their own choices.  Sometimes it’s the result of the choices of others that impact the innocent which then are carried into adulthood and negatively impact those initially innocent lives.  Many are unhappy because their lives are so unmanageable.  Two thoughts often come to mind.  First is a statement made by Nephi shortly after severing ties with his rebellious older brothers as an existential necessity.  He said, “We lived after the manner of happiness”.  That short phrase has always intrigued me.  Is there a sure pattern to follow in order to maximize the possibilities for happiness?  Nephi thought so and I concur, based upon my seventy-four years of personal experience.  Joy and happiness are characteristics of God and all who are striving to become Him.  Certainly the path to such an outcome must certainly be aligned with God’s expectations.  The adversary, in opposition to God, goes to extensive lengths to portray sin as the sure path to happiness.  However, Alma made clear that “wickedness never was happiness”.  I might add that it never will be either.  I have found through personal experience and by extensive observation that pursuing happiness via sin only reduces one’s options.  Their lives become far more demanding with greater obligations and fewer resources.  The adversary applies continual pressure, much as a python would, until one cannot even breathe.  Often one embraces the path of sin unaware of the danger and is too far down that path before the danger becomes apparent.  God’s commandments lead one to ultimate happiness, even a fullness of happiness.  Such obedience leads to further liberty and greater opportunities with significantly more resources and assistance.  That is exactly what they are designed and intended to do.  Of that I’m sure.

During our gospel study we crossed paths with 2 Nephi 25:23.  This particular verse has been difficult for many to understand.  In my opinion, interpreting the word “after” in a chronological sense is the culprit but there are other issues I believe also interfere with effective understanding.  One is how the Jews came to believe that salvation came through obedience to the Law of Moses.  I believe they actually transferred their worship from the Lawgiver to the law itself.  In doing so, one had to earn salvation by virtue of their own obedience to the Law of Moses.  Nephpi’s perspective on this matter would possibly have been influenced by Jewish customary thought.  I think it’s important to note that in verses 24 and 25, Nephi acknowledges the role of the Law of Moses in preparing a people to receive their Messiah, Jesus Christ.  And though Nephi’s people kept the Law of Moses, they understood clearly that salvation did not come by or through the Law of Moses.  They understood its true purpose and worshipped Jesus Christ, knowing full well that He, and He alone, was the source of salvation.  Only in and through Christ can the legal obligation of sin, the breaking of God’s law, be removed.  While the Jews felt the Law of Moses was their salvation, it was actually just the opposite, it was their enemy because once broken, the law could neither alleviate the consequence of the broken law, which was perpetual alienation from God’s presence, or satisfy God’s justice.  Had the Jewish perspective been correct, there would have been no need for a Savior or Redeemer.   Keeping one commandment could not pay for the breaking of another.  Such pardon, such a ransom, could not be paid by any mortal entity.  It simply was not within their power to do so.  It could only be accomplished by an infinite and eternal sacrifice.  Only Christ, who was mortal, eternal and spotlessly pure before God, had the capacity to subject Himself to both death and sin vicariously for the rest of God’s children.  In doing so, He overcame all sin and death for all those who had been taken captive.  The only hope of escape from a downward death spiral which would ultimately lead to an existence identical to Satan’s was Jesus Christ, who triumphed over physical death by the power of the resurrection, and also spiritual death by virtue of a repentance made possible by His immaculate atoning sacrifice, a sacrifice only He could make, which actually could satisfy the demands of divine justice.  In addition, it should be noted that one aspect of verse 23 that has been challenging for some to understand is the result of considering the relationship between grace and works chronologically because Nephi used the word “after”.  In this instance it is critical to understand that God’s grace is ever present in the process of redemption.  It doesn’t have to wait until one has expended their all in a futile effort to become like God.  In the matter of combining one’s personal effort to become more Christlike with God’s grace extended to all who so strive, meagerly I might add, God’s grace is available the second one desires to turn to God in faith.  This desire will grow into repentance, baptism, receiving the Holy Ghost, and striving (enduring) through the process until their mortal life has concluded.  Without God’s grace, such a journey would inevitably result in failure.  That Christ makes it all possible is a sacred gift that demands our best effort to avail ourselves of His merciful help but we are never left helpless in such a divine desire.

This mortal experience isn’t easy.  I suppose that existing in an environment cohabitated by legions of premortal spirit devils who are hell bent on destroying anything good would naturally be difficult.  But I’m assured of the divine purposes of God regarding His children and the mortal portion of their eternal tutelage.  This is our away-from-home experience, where we are introduced to an intimate knowledge of good and evil and suffer, to some extent, the consequences of our God given power to make our own choices.  Satan strives to create as much chaos as possible while God’s invitation is designed to create more order and union.  The confluence of these two opposite forces, which are manifest in very different ways, is a great separator.  Amidst the darkness of devilish brutality shines the light of hope and goodness of God and all that it portends.  God’s interactions with His children through the millennia are a repetitive narrative of mortal and willful rebelliousness.  And yet, His merciful arms are stretched out still to any of His children willing to turn to Him and accept the conditions of the covenant He offered them premortally and then again in mortality.  His merciful patience with His children is incomprehensible to my meager mind.  But laced throughout this mercy is the constant invitation, even command, to turn to Him in repentance NOW.  It was then and is now the same.  The time to turn to Him is now.  The longer a person postpones repentance, the greater the power they yield to their adversary, making repentance more difficult.  The sooner one chooses to repent, the more the adversary’s power is diminished over them.  The danger in ignoring God’s sacred invitation to come unto Him is that procrastination may ultimately lead to an unpleasant end, while drawing closer to God by adherence to His commandments will always ultimately produce eternal happiness, joy, and fulfillment.

If the words rendered by those in authority to preach and protect the true doctrines of God don’t reach one’s soul to the extent that change occurs, it’s as if these words fall to the ground in vain.

One of my favorite hymns is How Firm a Foundation.  A phrase in that hymn struck me particularly today.  “As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.”  As I pondered those 10 words I understood how true they are.  Regardless of the challenges one faces at any time during their life, and I believe each stage of life presents its own particular difficulties, the divine succor which is needed most will not only be always available but sufficient for the particular need.  However, it will not always be what or when we expect it.  But it will always be exactly what we need to move nearer to Him.  It isn’t in God’s nature to send His children abroad, as it were, without providing the help and assurance one may need in unfamiliar territory.  I honestly think that understanding our relationship to God the Father and His eager willingness to be close to His children while they are away from home, is one of the most targeted by Satan for distortion or elimination.  If he can sever a person’s connection and belief in God, he can ultimately lead them wherever he wants to because they will have no anchor in their life.

I am really closing in on the transfer of my scriptures from my old set to the set Jo gave me for my birthday in 2022.  If my calculations are correct, I should finish completely by the end of January 2024.  I love the scriptures.  My most recent study is the Old Testament.  Reading the entire Standard Works in such a relatively short period of time has allowed me to see patterns that have to this point eluded me.  I find connections and doctrines that began at the beginning and have threaded their way through the millennia as God has purposed to redeem and restore His magnificent posterity with the potential of inheriting all that God has.  It’s majestic in its scope.

I like to do little things to serve God by serving others.  It requires my time and often my skills.  But what can I, or anyone, actually give to God?  King Benjamin addressed this question, as have other prophets and Saints.  As for me, the only meaningful thing I can really offer God is much more complex than my time, my talents, or my means.  I think the thing he wants most from me is my heart.  He doesn’t want a part of it, he wants all of it, completely and unconditionally.  If I can’t give him that unconditionally, regardless of the pain such a price may require, I will never be fit for His Kingdom.  Joseph Smith said, “God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God”.  When I consider how weak I was when my heart strings were recently tweaked slightly I’m left to wonder how far I am from being completely consecrated to God.  This realization creates a real fear.  John said that “Perfect love casteth out all fear”.  That concept has always puzzled me for lack of understanding.  I wonder if a person, who is able to trust God completely and unconditionally, reaches the point where all fear succumbs to God’s all powerful love and care.  If a person becomes acquainted with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and is unequivocally convinced that their eternal welfare is always God’s greatest concern, what could possibly be frightening?  Of Course, that is most certainly easier to understand than to do.  I think of the apostles in the boat during a fearsome storm while the Lord slept peacefully.  Their fearful situation prompted them to wake Him and ask this universal question, “Carest Thou not that we perish?”.  Is not that a question we have all asked in some form?  Like them, we too encounter perilous circumstances and situations, sometimes life threatening.  Like them we feel powerless to save ourselves or those we love.  It is easy to surrender to our fears but how often was the Lord’s response to those with similar feelings a simple, yet powerful “Fear not” or  “Be of good cheer”?  If we seek to build a covenant relationship with God and strive to draw nearer to Him consistently, we are entitled to His merciful care and His is the power to deliver from any threat.  Trust in Him.  Who could possibly care more about our welfare?

Lee Allen, a member of the High Council and also one who was moved from our previous ward to this new one, spoke in sacrament meeting.  I haven’t always seen eye to eye with Lee but I thought he did a great job today with limited minutes due to the first speaker far exceeding her allotted time.  One particular thing he said really resonated with me.  He was addressing those who, in the wake of the Covid shut down, have chosen to not return to the church.  Their explanatory refrain is often the same or very similar; we’ve found that not attending church brings us more peace.  There isn’t as much stress in our lives.  It’s just more comfortable for us not to participate.  Lee’s response was powerful and I appreciated him sharing it.  He said, “The absence of stress is not the peace offered by Jesus Christ.”  Certainly the adversary sells it as such but the lack of commitment to His kingdom and the demands of His discipleship will always contain elements of stress and demands that stretch us beyond our comfort level.  Were it not so, heaven would be empty.  God’s commandments are meant to change us, prepare us for an eternal life that presently is far beyond us.  But through every storm associated with that developmental process of becoming like God, through all of the attendant stress and discomfort, through all of inadequacy that is often felt so painfully, through every bout of fear, the peace that comes from Christ, the peace that passeth all understanding, which can soothe the savaged soul and render courage to the fearful heart is always, always available to those who love God and strive to follow Him.

Our conversation today drifted toward gospel related topics.  The degrees of glory rose to the surface and consumed a significant amount of our discussion time.  People perceive these three kingdoms in different ways, but I would imagine that if you asked members of the church the question, “What is heaven?” you would get the Celestial Kingdom as the answer far more often than not. I would have answered the same way for much of my life.  But God’s eternal mercy is far more expansive than that narrow view.   In the October 2017 edition of the Ensign (now extinct as a magazine) appeared an amazing article titled, “The Triumph and Glory of the Lamb: Doctrine and Covenants 76 in Its Historical Context”.  It opens one’s eyes to the reality that all three of God’s Kingdoms of glory constitute Heaven.  Heaven accommodates a vast variety of God’s children but not all with the same experience.  How one’s mortal life relates to God determines the extent to which one can enjoy a greater measure of God’s mercy and grace in the world to come.  Hell, or the Spirit Prison, is not part of Heaven.  It is a holding place for the unrepentant until they humble themselves and accept God’s laws.  Hell is the place where the consequences of unrepentant mortal sin will create an inner, personal anguish and torment as intense as flaming fire as they suffer for their own sins. (D&C 19:17) Other than sons of perdition, all of God’s children will ultimately be freed from their torment and find a peace that emanates from the merciful grace of God.  This peace prevails in each Kingdom of Glory, with a fullness experienced in the Celestial Kingdom.  The combination of all three Kingdoms of God’s glory constitute Heaven.  Even the Telestial Kingdom will be free of guilt or torment.  Joseph Smith indicated that even the Telestial Glory will be far more magnificent than the mortal mind could comprehend.  But, while these lesser Kingdoms are rewards of Glory, they aren’t the fullness of Glory and their opportunities pale in comparison to what God promises in the Covenants He makes with those willing to comply with His Celestial laws.  I believe that the gospel emphasis, even amidst the knowledge of lesser Kingdoms, has always been on exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom of God.  Paul compared eternal outcomes in Corinthians as being reflective of the glory of the sun, moon, and stars.  The Glory of the sun is so bright, so intense, so expansive when compared to the light of the moon or stars, that one’s decision to strive for God’s greatest gift would rightly focus only upon the fullness of what He offers His children by covenant.

This morning while studying the Gospel I noticed something in the Book of Mormon, Jacob 4:3 that I don’t remember noticing previously.  Jacob was mentioning the importance of engraving their words on sheets of metal, otherwise their words would ultimately crumble and disappear, something they found unacceptable.  The importance of preserving their words for the benefit of subsequent generations was summed up in this simple statement, “that they may learn with joy and not with sorrow”.  How apt is his declaration.  Far, far too often we learn painfully from our poor choices, when hearkening to the wisdom of those who preceded us and who were willing to share with us the sound wisdom of the ages would allow us to learn with joy rather than painful regret.

Of all the Savior’s miracles, one of my favorites is feeding thousands with just a few loaves of bread and a few fishes.  I marvel at how He used everyday experiences to teach eternal truths.  Connecting the two allowed people to better understand the eternal verities He offered.  For me, the fact that they gathered up more remnants of bread and fish than they had available before they ate.  This symbolizes not only His divine power to meet their everyday needs but that His grace is sufficient for us all.  We sometimes think that we are somehow exempted from His grace.  His grace blesses others, but not us.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  His grace fed everyone among the thousands in that throng.  Nobody was exempted.  His atoning sacrifice, and all it implies, is meant for every willing  and believing soul.  If anyone feels like their life, their sins preclude His divine help simply has believed what Satan was selling them.  Always with Christ, there is enough and to spare.  His atoning grace covers every need that any human could ever have.

I don’t know why but my mind dug into my memories and out popped an experience I had with Brianna on the day of her baptism.  I was driving her back to her house and it was just her in the car with me.  She was buckled in the back seat.  Out of nowhere she said, “I don’t feel any different”.  It caught me off guard and my reply was pathetically inadequate.  Over the years I’ve pondered what I could or should have said.  Some of my thoughts since that sweet query reached my ears.  Interestingly, her question brought to the surface a belief that many have been taught, at least over the past many years.  The wording used in conjunction to being confirmed a member of the Church after baptism is, “Receive the Holy Ghost”.  I think most of us believed that the bestowal of the Holy Ghost was some magnificent event that would change who we are, instantly, like being immersed in water when we were baptized.  However, just as baptism in water cannot cleanse one of their sins, the gift of Christ can and does but that usually happens progressively over time.  This cleansing is in preparation for receiving the Holy Ghost.  There is that word “receive” again.  I don’t see the words, “Receive the Holy Ghost” as an announcement, but rather, an admonition and invitation to receive the Holy Ghost, to make Him welcome in your life.  Whether or not we receive the Holy Ghost is entirely up to us.  With that ordinance comes the availability of the Holy Ghost that has multiple responsibilities in relationship to each of those who choose to receive Him.  The Holy Ghost can be felt, it can be clearly discernible to us, but only if we choose to make room for Him.  Only if we choose to receive Him.  But if we do allow Him to engulf us with His divinity, our lives can and will change not only significantly, but permanently, eternally in ways unfathomable.  I wish I could have conveyed that to Brianna that day.  I had my chance at the plate, and struck out on three pitches, my bat never having left my shoulder. 

The doctrine of personal agency and how it fits with the doctrines of justice and mercy are often misunderstood.  Elder Christofferson has helped me greatly to understand these connections.  Certainly, without the ability to choose our own path, what kind of a future exists for us?  Satan’s plan was fraught with the lack of personal choice for God’s children.  One cannot become like God and share His exalted nature unless one is free to choose between good and evil and of their own volition choose the good which originates with God.  The free expression of one’s own will cannot be supplanted by any measure of force or coercion.  However, in order for one’s right to choose to be effective, certain things must be in place and available to all with free will.  Personal agency cannot exist unless alternative choices are available to everyone.  These alternative choices, of which there are only essentially two, must be known to all who are confronted with the options.  Not only do the choices need to be clear, but the consequences of each must be fixed eternally, unchangeable.  Otherwise, one could never really depend on a given outcome being invariable.  If a consequence is capriciously imposed, the consequence would always be unpredictable, thus rendering choice null and void because choice would have no meaning.  It would be like spinning a roulette wheel every time a choice is made.  Justice requires that fixed outcomes are the same for everyone, every time.  For example, the consequence for breaking God’s law brings a greater distance between the one breaking the law and God.  That is justice.  The breaking of God’s law demands a consequence that matches the seriousness of the law broken.  Justice demands that a broken law will prevent any person so guilty from returning to the presence of God.  Were it not for Christ and His Atonement, every single person born on earth would ultimately break one of God’s laws, making a return to God impossible because the consequence demands alienation from God.  Man cannot save themselves from the consequence of breaking God’s law.  This is where mercy is interposed on behalf of every mortal.  Mercy comes into play because the Holy One, Jesus Christ, the only person born into mortality who never offended God, never broke any of His laws.  This extraordinary individual was able to return to God’s presence on his own merit.  No other person can do that.   They are all trapped in inescapable captivity that will have no end unless Christ intervenes with both mercy and grace.  It is only Christ who can interpose.  It is only Christ who has been given power by virtue of His pure virtue to pay the price demanded by divine justice.  In order to do that, He suffered in the place of all mankind, as if He had sinned though it was not his sin but ours.  Once the price for sin was satisfied by His Atonement, He now has the power to free anyone from their captivity by and through the conditions of repentance.  If one chooses to repent, there is also a fixed consequence.  If one abides by those conditions and genuinely repents, the promise of forgiveness and help is certain.  Without penance, the full demand of divine justice will impose its will on the unrepentant.  But for the truly penitent, the glorious hope of purification awaits.  It will be as if there never was sin for they will become a new creature through the mercy and grace of Christ.  If God was not bound to eternal law and its subsequent invariable consequence, God would cease to be God.  There can be no capriciousness involved in law and justice and mercy cannot be dispensed unpredictably.  All is order, all is certain.  Mercy can triumph only if repentance is the offering of the offender.

As I pondered feelings and thoughts yesterday in this journal, I feel constrained to address the very nature of God.  Over the years I have encountered many people who perceive God differently than I do.  He is perceived by others, who labor without the benefit of the Restoration’s insight, as anything but what He really is.  An inaccurate perception of God can lead to frustration, skepticism, and ultimately to unbelief.  Many consider God their enemy, waiting for them to mess up and quick to dispense justice.  God’s justice is impartial because it’s bound to and by law, a fact all who are victims of injustice find heartening.  God is not capricious with His justice, or His mercy for that matter.  Both are bound to and guided by His eternal laws.  His justice assures fixed, eternal, and unchangeable outcomes for violation of His laws.  That is pure impartiality.  But neither is mercy meted capriciously.  It is offered to all but applied only to those whose genuine desire to seek Him is matched by their legitimate efforts to repent.  His mercy is as universally available to anyone seeking its sweet respite but only if his conditions are met.  These two eternal characteristics of God work hand in hand.  His justice is invariably set so that each person will be accountable for their own choices.  Choice would be of no effect if one could not rely on a fixed outcome that would result from every choice they encounter.  Just insures a fixed outcome and that its consequential outcome will be the same every single time.  But mercy is equally invariable.  Having paid an infinite and eternal price for all of mankind, Christ is eager for God’s children to take full advantage of His atoning and redemptive sacrifice.  He wants to lighten our load by taking it upon himself.  He is not a punitive God but even when punishment is the consequence of disobedience, its intent is redemptive rather than punitive.  His nature is as the most loving father of which anyone could possibly conceive.  Everything He does, doesn’t do, or does it differently than what we would wish, is for our eternal benefit.  We are His children with divine potential.  His perspective is significantly different from ours because we see things myopically while His perspective knows no bounds.  Our happiness will grow as we surrender our will to His rather than expect Him to surrender His will to ours.  It’s so simple in concept but so difficult at times to accomplish.  Fallen man finds his pride a barrier to surrendering their own will to God.  It requires humility and ultimately a complete surrender which includes all outcomes in which we have invited Him to be part.  But while difficult, it is definitely not impossible but Only with Christ’s help.  It is within the reach of every human, one step at a time if those steps point to Christ.  I have found my God to be unbelievably patient with me, incredibly merciful, and gently corrective.  I feel His love and know from long experience that His aims for me are eternal and His love for me far exceeds mine for Him.  For the intentionally wicked, their experience with God will be far different.   Their experience with God will be shaped by their unwillingness to humbly comply with His commandments, leaving them exposed to the harshness of God’s justice rather than embraced and protected by His gentle mercy.  This less pleasant experience with God can cause one to feel as if God doesn’t love them but actually finds joy in their misery.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  God said to Ezekiel, “As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?”  The sooner one comes to believe that God’s infinite love for us is manifest in both His justice and His mercy because of the divine expectations He has for each of us, the sooner their perspective of God’s nature will change in a very positive way.  I have found this to be invariably true.

I watched a talk given by President Nelson, when he was just a newly ordained member of the Quorum of the Twelve, in which he addressed the reality of life after this life.  He focused on the many witnesses we have of the living Christ.  If the number of witnesses to His resurrection, numbering in the thousands, were to testify in open court, it would be virtually impossible to ignore and most surely certify the verdict.  Then why do billions of people completely disregard this vast array of eye witnesses?  The Lord always uses mortal witnesses to validate His interaction with mortals.  I suppose the role of eye witnesses in God’s process is more to ensure a righteous judgment than to expect non believers to suddenly believe.  A genuine study of the Holy Scriptures is replete with accounts of witnesses testifying to miraculous things and eternal truths.

When I was set apart to serve as an assistant Stake Clerk by President Jimmy Butler in West Jordan in 1993, part of that setting apart blessing included the promise that my understanding of the Savior’s atonement would continue to grow and expand.  I can remember thinking what more could I possibly know that I didn’t then know.  How foolish I was.  Not only has my knowledge of His atoning sacrifice grown but so has my appreciation and love for that incomparable act.  For some time now I have felt that many members of the Church, faithful members who attend and serve, fail to understand the Savior’s atonement.  I think far too often people misunderstand what He can do as a result, and what He can’t do as a result.  I’ve seen it far too often in my service with other people.  So many feel that they must save themselves before the Savior’s atoning power will forgive them.  They bear the burden of their sins and inadequacies entirely, thinking that they must reach some distant point before they can even access His mercy and grace.  There are others who believe He can heal and make holy everyone else, but not them, as if somehow there are limits to His infinite and eternal power to redeem.  The only limits that exist are the ones people put upon Him by simply not allowing Him to save and redeem them.  As I was pondering these things in the dark this morning my mind flew to a story I was taught in Primary by a well meaning teacher who simply didn’t understand the Savior’s atonement.  Its message is so powerful and so desperately needed as the days and years ahead become darker, bleaker for the righteous, and faith will be tried to the greatest extent.  The teacher told the story of another teacher, probably fictional, who gave to each of her young students a beautiful piece of mahogany wood that had been polished to a magnificent sheen.  She told them to keep this beautiful piece of wood with them and every time they sinned, they were to drive a large nail into the wood.  In her attempt to teach about repentance, she also instructed them that every time they repented of one of those sins, they could pull out the nail.  She explained that she had one student approach her years later with that piece of wood.  It was no longer beautiful or pristine.  The wood was full of nail holes which marred its previously beautiful appearance.  The student, now much older, beamed as they shared their piece of wood with no nails left.  The teacher replied correctionaly, but look at the wood, look at how it is no longer beautiful but terribly marred.  The young man’s face changed expression, never having considered such an outcome.  How could he possibly repair the mahogany?  It seemed impossible.  I can remember being taught this.  I didn’t know any better then, but I do NOW.  That story is one of the most appalling mischaracterizations of what the Atonement of Christ is and does that I have ever heard.  What’s the point of repenting if the impact of the nails/sins leave us scarred and broken?  That isn’t what He said about what He can do.  He said to the survivors in the new world after a flurry of catastrophic geological events that left only a few alive.  After the shock and trauma of these events, His voice from Heaven was heard, “Will you not now return unto me and repent of your sins and be converted, that I may heal you?”  To the rest of us He has made it abundantly clear, “For I am able to make you holy and your sins are forgiven you.”  His atoning sacrifice is  not simply about pardoning sin but transforming the sinner so that what he once was is no longer what he is.  If the above story had been told correctly, the boy would have returned with his repentant board as if it had never known a nail.  It would be again pristine and pure because it was no longer the scarred piece of wood.  It was an entirely new piece of wood, made pure and holy by the power of the living Lord.  He is the hope of all mankind.  He was the good news proclaimed by angels to shepherds.  He is everything to everyone who will accept Him and willingly follow Him.  Those who procrastinate embracing His atoning gift will suffer until they are ready to return unto him, repent of their sins, and be converted so He can make them whole, without spot, everyone.  There are no boundaries to what He can do for us if we simply allow Him to.  It’s what He wants to do, to suffer for us so that He can rightfully redeem us, make each of us a new creature in Him so that our past is forgotten.  Nobody else can do that.  Only Him.  I know it’s true because I am evidence of just such a change if only in minute measure so far.

While working with people who struggle with addiction, one of the most painful things I observe is relapse.  It’s a common experience for anyone who strives toward recovery from addiction.  It can be debilitating to a person who continually, despite their best intent, fails to maintain sobriety for any length of time.  Many allow their failures to convince them that there is something wrong with them and give up.  As a younger man my anger would flare often and sometimes uncontrollably.  It always hurt others who were the object of my wrath.  I recognized this terrible character flaw and tried over and over again to bridle it but without any success.  After each failure to curb my emotions I would promise myself and the Lord that I would never allow it to happen again but invariably it would.  Each succeeding failure added to my overall failure as if adding every failure to a growing pile of failures.  That became a heavy load to bear.  Promising never to repeat something that I had so little power over was a recipe for disaster.  The pressure not to repeat was enormous.  It was only when I began to realize that promising that I would never fail again was actually unrealistic and counterproductive that progress began.  It was when I began to see that losing my temper wasn’t the type of failure I’d always thought it was.  It wasn’t ideal and it wasn’t what I hoped for but I began to notice more time elapsing between each time my temper would flare out of control.  I began noting and marking when these would occur.  Instead of focusing on my relapse, I would focus on the progress that was reflected by the distance between them.  There were times when the time in between wasn’t progress but I still didn’t focus on the failure.  I looked more at the overall progress and over the decades it became evident that change was occurring.  I was changing.  My temper was becoming more under my control than it was controlling me.  I have found that recovery from compulsive substances and behaviors acts exactly the same way.  If one focuses on progress, even if it is measured at first in minutes or hours, lengthening the distance between relapses can be encouraging rather than devastating.  If this approach is consistently and persistently followed, combined with the Savior’s merciful grace, one can overcome unwelcome character flaws or even addiction.

Gospel instruction is weak in our ward, at least in my opinion.  I rarely if ever feel the Spirit in either Sunday School or Elders Quorum.  The teachers in both those meetings are so far from teaching in the Savior’s way that it’s all I can do to force myself to attend.  I was aware of several authoritative quotes that address this lack of powerful gospel instruction so I suggested to the Bishop that I could find some of the talks that address this essential need.  I chose four: The Power of the Word by President Benson; Teaching, Preaching, Healing by President Holland; A Teacher Come From God by President Holland; Teaching and Learning by the Spirit by President Oaks.  While emphasis was varied in each talk, a central theme in all four was unmistakable.  This is God’s work and it’s only by the Spirit of God we will be able to inspire others to come unto Christ and engage the Holy power of His  mighty atoning sacrifice.  God’s work and word is to persuade all of God’s children to come unto Him, make and keep covenants with Him and change through the process of repentance to become more and more like Him.  If our instructional time, whether in the classroom or at the pulpit or even in our gospel conversations, doesn’t inspire others to come closer to Christ and partake of His merciful goodness, what are we doing?  For what purpose do we serve if not to bring others closer to Christ?  Teaching a lesson cannot be solely for the dispensing of information.  It has to lead to change.  (D&C 50:17-23) “Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? And if it be by some other way it is not of God. And again, he that receiveth the word of truth, doth he receive it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? If it be some other way it is not of God. Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth? Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together. And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.”

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