BRIEFLY

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From my perspective, a common, recurring theme found in the Old Testament is Israel’s stubborn reluctance to allow Jehovah to be their God despite repeated miraculous occurrences of deliverance from their militant foes, often when overcoming a significant numerical disadvantage.  As I was thinking about how the Lord wanted to make certain that Israel knew who the source of their victorious strength was and what was required of them to ensure such divine sustenance, my mind flashed unprovoked to the quiet Garden in Gethsemane on a doleful Thursday night.  Of all numerically disparate confrontations, this one was without peer.  Against the gaping mouth of hell itself, populated by the combined cohorts of a satanic rebellion first fomented in the premortal life, stood the solitary sentinel whose anointed mission was to not only withstand temptation no mortal could comprehend but ensure utter and ultimate defeat for all of evil’s seditious intent.  Only one opposed an innumerable army of vile and vicious soldiers whose yearnings were solely to defeat the Holy One of Israel.  Of all Israel’s battles, this was the one that scarred the Lord of Hosts.  But despite the combined effort and motivation of evil’s most devilish hatred in those quiet, lonely hours in that dark garden, the Holy One would not yield.  He took everything hell could aim at Him and refused to yield.  The majesty of the Holy One overcame all that hell could conjure.  Then, the next day, when Jesus was at his weakest physically, from lack of sleep, scourging, and the physical anguish of enduring crucifixion, the horrors of the previous night returned to Him while hanging upon that pole of Roman torture, with one notable exception; this time, for probably the first time in His mortal life, the presence of His Heavenly Father withdrew from Him, causing Him to cry out in anguish.  Even in that extremity, He would not, in fact did not, yield to evil’s amalgamated attempt to thwart God’s holy plan of redemption.  Thus the victory of the most crucial battle ever fought belonged to the sole soldier, the Lord of Hosts, the mighty Messiah.  All of Israel, even almost all of God’s children, will proclaim His Holy name and bow in reverence for what only He could do in their behalf; save them from hell’s gaping jaws and all of the nefarious consequences that spew therefrom. 

Early this morning I was reading a talk by Elder Bednar titled That We May Always Have His Spirit To Be With Us.  He compared the Liahona of a previous time to the Gift of the Holy Ghost in our time.  Alma made the same comparison.  One word stood out to me this morning, the word straight.  My mind opened and I realized that what I had always perceived this word to mean isn’t exactly what I understood regarding its meaning this morning. When I think of straight, perhaps because of my construction background, I think of a straight edge, a ruler if you will.  But as I weighed that definition in terms of Lehi’s journey in the wilderness, I couldn’t conceive of a scenario in which Lehi’s family journeyed from Jerusalem to the land Bountiful in a straight edge type of line.  It must have meaning beyond my understanding.  The Liahona pointed Lehi’s family to a straight course toward their destination regardless of where their feet actually travelled.  I wonder if straight, in this sense, is actually declaring the course to reach God never varies in purpose or destination.  It never changes.  It is always the same.  There is only one way to go if returning to God is one’s objective.  We have a multitude of experiences in life that impact our relationship to the course leading us back to God.  Some slow us down, some speed us up, some are precarious, some uplifting, some confusing, some draw us nearer to God but as long as those experiences help us grow and don’t pull us away from the covenant path toward God, we travel safely on the straight way to God no matter how much pain we encounter along the way.  The path may wander in the wilderness, but the destination never varies, it never changes.  The safe way to travel this path is the straight way, undeviating from the mileposts provided along the way.  Trust the direction and the giver of the directions, hold on tightly, press forward and no matter what storms may arise, no matter what darkness obscures the way, no matter who invites us to disembark from the covenant path, we will be delivered to our desired destination.    

This morning while studying in the Book of Mormon I was pondering II Nephi 25:23.  “For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.”  For such an important verse, I believe it has been, and to some extent still is, misunderstood.  Most of the misunderstanding originates with the single word, “after.”  I don’t believe the combination of our own best efforts and God’s merciful grace occurs only chronologically, as some have surmised.  Grace, like sunlight, is always available but sometimes blocked by clouds or other obstructions.  However, in order to activate Grace in our lives, our best efforts are required.  The question that arose in my mind this morning was, “What constitutes our best efforts?”  My mind immediately raced to Nephi and his brothers returning to Jerusalem to get the plates of brass, held wickedly by Laban.  Some people, Laman and Lemuel probably included, feel the first attempt represents their best effort.  Nephi viewed the task through different eyes.  His best effort wasn’t complete until he had the plates in his possession and returned them to his father.  He devised an alternative plan which also went awry.  Not having any additional options available to him but firm in his commitment to fulfill his assignment, went back without a plan, just his faith.  That was enough to activate the Lord’s help which brought success.  He didn’t have to wait until the end of his mortal test before God’s enabling help became efficacious.  It is always available, every step of the way.  For me, my ultimate task is to return to live an exalted life in the presence of God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, and my loved ones.  In order to do that, I have to overcome the natural man in me, embrace the Savior’s atoning gift and become a saint, receive all of the necessary ordinances, and make and keep the associated covenants.  I’m still a long way from reaching such a lofty aspiration.  In fact, I know I cannot rely solely upon my own efforts to accomplish it.  I need help, desperately.  Having invested 71 years in pursuit of that objective has taught me that pursuing divinity is impossible for me unaided by God’s grace.  When will I know my best efforts are enough?  Because God’s grace is constantly available, my efforts are the variable in this process.  I find that my latter years are far more reflective than my earlier years.  I realize more than ever before the need for the Spirit to be with me always.  I see the Spirit’s role in much grander terms than I did when I was younger.  Having the Spirit’s companionship tends to temper the natural man in me. He magnifies all of my righteous desires, regardless of how undeveloped they are due to decades of neglect.  While I no longer give heed to certain temptations, I have discovered a plethora of more refined ways the adversary strives to thwart my progression.  I realize it is much easier to barricade the Spirit’s influence in my life than previously imagined.  I have become much more determined to live my day in accordance with God’s will rather than my own.  While pained by the self indictment of my own words, I know that I am no longer the man I once was, but I am yet to become the man I want to be.  I see starkly how dependent I am upon the merits, mercy, and grace of Christ.  I need Him every hour seems too long a period to be on my own.  I am striving to become more humble and meek, accepting whatever is asked of me, knowing His wisdom, knowledge, intent, and foresight can be trusted implicitly, while the same qualities so juvenile in myself are yet wholly unreliable.  I catch myself wishing, yearning even, to redo aspects of my life while at the same time retaining my current state of understanding.  Such cannot be.  Were I to go back and do things over again, given the same set of circumstances and without any additional experiential perspective, I would most likely repeat past performance.  So my hope lies squarely in a merciful Savior’s willingness to save me, hoping He will accept the changes in my life that only He could have made possible, as evidence that I have learned what my experience was intended to teach me.  If so, I believe that all of the relationship debris one can see in my mortal wake will yield to His unfettered love and be made whole, all the while helping me right wrongs perpetrated upon the very ones I should have loved most but instead hurt the most.  

My mind led me to two scriptures, one found in the last chapter of Jacob and the other in the first chapter in Enos in the Book of Mormon.  Compare this verse “And it came to pass that I, Jacob, began to be old; and the record of this people being kept on the other plates of Nephi, wherefore, I conclude this record, declaring that I have written according to the best of my knowledge, by saying that the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanderers, cast out from Jerusalem, born in tribulation, in a wilderness, and hated of our brethren, which caused wars and contentions; wherefore, we did mourn out our days” with this one from Jacob’s son Enos, found on the very next page, “Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart.”  I find perspective is a powerful antidote to unwanted circumstances.  Jacob recounted all of the negative aspects of their lives.  But when Enos reflected upon his father’s experiences, he focused on the “joy of the saints.”  Despite all of my complaining and murmuring while a bishop, I could easily see the many blessings and benefits after having served.  I wonder, no I suspect, we will all be subject to this same type of reflection upon completing the greater assignment of mortality, and while we tend to complain, question, murmur, and see only the negative at times, in retrospect our eyes will be opened to the glorious care afforded us from heaven.  

I was working on my 1988  journal this morning and noticed something quite insightful, though not intentionally.  Besides the obvious and persistent whining and complaining I did about circumstances in my life, especially about my occupation and lack of financial robustness at the time, my perspective now is much less myopic than it was then.  Looking back, I can see how my occupation migrated into a wonderful opportunity which produced much satisfaction for many years, and even then when the tables turned again and I was miserable, a late-in-the-game change of location restored my feelings of worth and value and made all but my very last year enjoyable and rewarding.  The promised blessing of having enough and to spare economically unfolded gradually over the years and I worried and fretted and complained needlessly.  The Lord’s hand was later much more evident than when my doubts and fears obliterated my faith and trust in Him.  I hope that these experiences, as painful and foolishly experienced as they may have been, have helped me to trust God implicitly regardless of how hopeless circumstances may appear.  It’s a theme strewn throughout the scriptural accounts of God’s dealing with His people.  He never abandons them.  They abandon Him, and when they do, the first one they blame is Him.  I’m hoping life will be evaluated on the totality of the experience and what it, with all of its mistakes, blunders, and even intentional sin, accomplishes in changing the person.  I hope those who know me best, those who watched from beginning to end, will see in my life the Lord’s patient and persistent hand as He changed me from an unstable, doubting, depressed at times, feeble, and at times tormented child to a stable, faithful, optimistic, capable, spiritual adult.  Whether that translates into qualifying for the opportunity to grow continually into the eternities remains to be seen.

I have come to understand more fully how valuable humility is to the Lord.  Humility allows one to be taught truth, enabling them to apply it to their lives which always produces change for the better.  If one is so rebellious, so proud, so disinclined to listen and learn, particularly from the Lord but even from those who have learned eternal lessons from heaven and their own experience, they are destined to suffer endless repercussions until humility is obtained.  

During the last few years I have become increasingly aware of how close the Holy Ghost is to us.  Each day I hear His voice more frequently and find it astonishing how blessed I feel to have His companionship.  He has reminded me of things I need to do but forgotten, He has instructed me both spiritually and how to accomplish personal tasks when I didn’t possess enough knowledge of my own, and He has guided me.  I feel His tempering influence in my life, mellowing my temperament and mitigating my quick to judgment nature. 

As I was studying this morning in the Words of Mormon and pondering upon the loss of an entire segment of society, I asked myself what led to the destruction of the Nephite nation.  Some issues were readily obvious; pride, contention, wickedness, and rejecting all that God’s merciful grace offered them.  Then I wondered where we as a people stand in relationship not only to God but to this historical demise of what was once God’s people.  What do we need to do to avoid duplicating the catastrophic consequences to which they succumbed?  I have no control and very little influence over others, but for me, I am trying daily to put off my natural man by consciously exercising my agency to be obedient to God and rejecting everything that would draw me away from God and the blessed joy that can only come in and through our Lord and Savior.  I break my day into thirds with prayer in the morning, midday, and early evening.  I find that I can manage making better choices for a four hour block than I can if my perspective is larger.  With each prayer I reset myself, I recommit to my own desires that will draw me closer to the Lord.  I’m not perfect at it, but I can sense how different my days have generally become by doing this.  I definitely feel closer to the Lord, more able to discern His will and I feel His power as I distance myself from long held habitual distractions that consume my time, energy, and interest.  I try to refocus my desire on the Lord so my time and effort can be better invested in things of a more eternal nature and value.  

Despite being up late last night I was awake at 6:00 and my mind began to focus and ponder on the glory of Easter morning.  It has only been in the past few years that my understanding of Easter and its eternal implications has begun to sink deeper into my soul.  Of course, when I speak of Easter, I speak of the Lord Jesus Christ’s triumphant victory over death.  He was the firstfruits of the resurrection, being the only One who had the power, by virtue of not only His miraculous genetic heritage but also His sinless life, to voluntarily lay down His life and rise from the tomb in glorious triumph over the universal effect of Adam and Eve’s crucial choice, and do so unconditionally for all of God’s children.  The gift of resurrection alone is of such importance that all mankind should fall prostrate upon the ground in expressive gratitude for this redemptive gift.  Relatively few, however, believe that Christ was the Son of God, that He came to earth to repair all the fall had initiated.  For my knowledge of Him, His anointed mission to save and redeem all who will accept His incomparable gift, and His willingness to help us do so, I am deeply grateful.  I realize more than ever that gratitude is best expressed by what we do rather than what we say.  I hope my life reflects His power to change me, to make of me something I could never make of myself without Him.  I hope the change in my life over seven decades testifies of Him.  I feel indebted to Him and am filled with the hope of a glorious resurrection and all it implies.  Without His sacrifice, without His death and resurrection, I, with all others, would be staring at an inevitable train wreck occurring at a high rate of speed which would be fatal for all occupants.  None of us would be able to escape this horrendous and inevitable outcome, were it not for the Lord Jesus Christ.  I owe all I am, all I could ever hope to be, to Him.  I owe my very breath to him.  I want Him to be in and through me, to shape my desires and my actions, to transform me and cleanse me.  I hope to honor Him by what I can become with His merciful help.  

I was awake at 5:00 this morning and came across a talk given at BYU by Elder Neal A. Maxwell titled Sharing Insights From My Life in 1999.  I find all of the members of the Quorum of the Twelve to be stalwarts in the gospel and wise and extremely competent, but some just resonate with my soul more than others.  Elder Maxwell is one of them.  Two days ago I came across a talk he had given at a FARMS function that was referenced with “Elder Neal A. Maxwell on Consecration, Scholarship, and the Defense of the Kingdom.”  For me, the portion that stood out as if printed in neon signage addressed his ponderings on consecration, a subject that has held my interest more so in the past few days than ever before.  It is a doctrine with which I am acquainted but one with which I now realize I have had very little understanding.  As I perused his words, the Spirit spoke to my soul and awakened me to things I had never before considered.  The most poignant one being taken from Mosiah 15:7, “Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.”  I have read that verse countless times but this morning insight flooded into my mind.  I believe that many, if not most, people are reluctant to surrender their will to God because they perceive such an act to be restrictive, requiring them to sacrifice things they love more than they love Him, which is, after all, the first and great commandment, superseding all other commandments, even the commandment to love our neighbors.  In reality, it is just the opposite.  What, after all, is the Father’s will when it comes to each of us?  Is it not to exalt each of us, to allow us to know all that He knows, to experience all that He experiences, to love the way He loves, to create eternally the way He creates?  It seems to me that anything less than that, which He offers each of His children freely, is restrictive.  Allowing His will to swallow up ours actually liberates us from our own foolish and carnal desires.  It expands our horizons and opportunities in limitless fashion.  Limits are restrictive, exaltation has no limits.  Why then is it so difficult to surrender our will to His, to be swallowed up in His thoughts and His ways?  There is only one answer.  Our agency allows us to choose what we want.  His door is always open.  The far more critical question remains, is our door open to Him?  What is it we really want?  For what we desire is exactly what we will get.

I still have so many weaknesses which demand my attention and effort to overcome.  I found myself this evening, in a conversation with another person, being critical of the man who spoke in church Sunday.  Regardless of how misguided his effort was and how arrogant I thought he was, to share that opinion with anyone other than the Lord exposed me.  The Spirit whispered to me and I will make greater effort today not to disparage anyone for any reason publicly.  Kindness is a characteristic of God.  For surely I have made a fool of myself at the pulpit before.  I like to think that those low points aren’t a permanent categorical identity stamp.  If so, why should I stamp someone else in like fashion?  Each of us is a work in progress and it’s the Lord’s work, after all.  He knows what He is doing.  I don’t, obviously.  Being compassionate and supportive, in this or any other way, of those whose weaknesses are exposed for all to see would draw me nearer to becoming more Christlike.  

As usual, I woke up early and studied.  One thing struck me about section 76 that I had never previously considered.  After such a powerful introduction, calling for both heaven and earth’s attention, the certainty of God and His beloved Son was followed by emphasis upon the stark contrast of Lucifer’s open rebellion, his solicitation of like minded followers, their expulsion from God’s presence, and their ultimate banishment to a state of suffering known only to those whose choices warrant it.  When I considered it this morning, I noticed a connection I had previously missed.  Rebellion was ultimately the sin that caused such a catastrophic fall from grace.  These few verses made a direct tie between rebellion and suffering.  And to further substantiate that tie, open and ultimate rebellion led to ultimate and irreparable suffering.  I can’t help but believe that open rebellion began with simple disagreement fostered by criticism leading to contempt, followed by rebellion.  It is such a slippery slope and begins so innocently.  If corrected early in the process the initial flickering flames of criticism can be easily extinguished, but if kindled by continual criticism, viewing what’s done by others as inferior to one’s own capability, the fuel of resentment can quickly burn out of control, consuming and destroying many, if not all, of one’s better qualities until all that is left is the ash of hatred.  

This morning I pondered, among other things, the need to be kind to other people.  Currently, in our society, civility, patience, compassion, and kindness have all suffered seriously.  As I pondered this in my own life I recognize that I have been quick to judge and be critical of others.  I know that this is something I must overcome.  How quickly and painfully an unkind word can hurt someone.  Such offenses are sometimes incredibly difficult to repair.  The Lord was never unkind to anyone, under any circumstances.  I have been far too critical of others, especially members of my own family, but to others as well.  Many of my words have wounded others and caused pain where it was completely unwarranted and produced more by my insecurity than any insufficiency in them.  It is a characteristic that I am ashamed of and I wish I had never used language to harm others.  Repentance is clearly needed as is divine help to overcome my weakness.

I was awake fairly early and read and studied in the peaceful morning light of our family room.  I have been focusing recently on the relationship of God’s justice and mercy and how all of that works in accordance with agency.  For the first time in my life I believe I am beginning to understand all of it.  This development is largely because of several talks I’ve recently read by Elder D. Todd Christofferson.  I found his insights on these matters compelling and were taught in such an easy to understand way that even I have begun to understand.  These doctrines are becoming part of my ingrained awareness, so much so that I am beginning to be able to explain them in similar fashion without prompting or reminders from outside sources.  The talks include; Free Forever To Act For Themselves, Justification And Sanctification, and Why We Need Jesus Christ.  I had some additional insights into these doctrinal concepts while studying this morning from the Book of Mormon, that I had never before considered or even noticed.  I never cease to marvel at how willing the Lord is to grant us understanding and help when our desires become centered in Him and our actions begin to be shaped by those desires.  I love Him.  And I know He loves me despite the myriad weakness still ensconced within the grip of my natural man.  

While I was waiting for the Bishop to arrive, I was reading something that caused me to realize, in greater measure, that there are only two alternatives to every choice we face.  One draws us nearer Satan and away from God, the other draws us nearer to God and away from Satan.  Then it exploded into my mind the deeper meaning of Matthew 7:13,14.  When the Lord says that wide is the gate and broad the way compared to the strait gate and narrow way, my mind was opened to the fact that the gate and way of Satan is wide and broad because it describes the many ways to be drawn away from God while there is only one way to follow God.  The wide gate and broad way is vastly expansive so it can exhibit almost universal appeal to the broadest spectrum of potential casualties in the war for their souls.  That was illuminating to me.  

I pondered on how important it is for me to live worthily daily in order to be ready at any moment to render assistance only God’s power can provide through the power of God’s priesthood as exercised by a frail mortal.  Though I have been striving daily to draw closer to Him in so many ways, I fail to live up to my own hopes and expectations.  I constantly fall short.  In Ether 12:27, the Lord says that He gave weakness unto men that they may be humble and that His grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before Him, and have faith in Him.  Consequently, He will  make weak things become strong unto them.  That phrase “My grace is sufficient” is so powerful.  It isn’t my power that can overcome my weakness, it’s His.  It isn’t my power that responds to pleas for divine help, it’s His.  It wasn’t my power exercised last night, it was His.  Isn’t such a thing, such a gift, worth any price required to receive? 

I had prayed to better understand the order of prayer today.  As I sat pondering that, right before we left the celestial room, I had an impression about it that helped me better understand its role in the process of redemption.  Truly, the whisperings of the Spirit is the ultimate teacher but I believe we have to do our work to prepare.  Daily study of the gospel and pondering on that study create questions.  As we ask, seek, and knock, the mysteries of God unfold in our minds and hearts in appropriate ways and at appropriate times.  We qualify for certain answers by the price we pay to get them.  Actually, all of our interaction with God is initiated by each of us.  His love for each of His children is ever present but His blessings are granted on the basis of our obedience to His laws.  We seek Him when we desire to become like Him and to be with Him.  This initiates a process that if followed to its completion will require us to surrender our wills entirely to His.  Contemplating what that really means and looks like in our lives is the process of a lifetime.  But oh, the journey is full of sweet things that far exceed the lesser pleasures of this world.  Experiencing the joy of the Lord is beyond mortal comprehension to express and can overcome even our ability to speak at all.  It fills the soul with such feelings that nothing else can compare.  It truly is the pearl of great price that one would eagerly sell all their possessions to be able to purchase this amazing pearl of God’s goodness.

The older I become and the more the Lord reveals my weaknesses to me, I recognize that the motives for why we do things is far more crucial to becoming Christlike than just doing it.  I can sense my progress in this matter, but I’m also astounded at how much I have yet to accomplish.  Truly, without the Savior’s willingness and ability to help me, I could never accomplish it alone.  Being yoked to Him is an incredible experience.  To sense His nearness, His interest and investment in my progress and ultimate success is humbling.  To recognize how patient He is with me is even more humbling.  I certainly am nowhere near as patient with regards to my expectations of others.  If I was not convinced that He will always be with me as I strive to get better, I don’t believe I could sustain my commitment to trying to be better.  He is absolutely essential to any hope I have of improving myself, at least from an eternal perspective.  I am increasingly grateful for Him and all He means to me. 

This morning while studying, I came across two phrases I had never noticed before, or at least hadn’t remembered seeing.  That they presented themselves to me within an hour of each other on the same day seemed more than coincidental.  The first one was from a quote by Elder Holland in a talk given to Church CES personnel.  While honoring the largely unknown but crucially important early morning seminary teachers, he said, “And never underestimate what those students are hearing and feeling, in spite of [their sleepy] appearances.”  The second was something the Savior said as he spoke to the multitude gathered around the temple in Bountiful as he descended from heaven to minister to them.  As recorded in 3 Nephi 18:25 he said, “[I] have commanded that ye should come unto me, that ye might feel and see.”  The first referred to hearing the word and what they felt as a result.  The feelings referenced there were spiritual feelings, the stirring of testimony and inspiration.  The Savior’s invitation to feel and see was with their hands and eyes as they thrust their hands into His side and felt the nail prints in His hands and feet and they could see for themselves that He was indeed the promised Messiah.  This sacred experience of witnessing with one’s empirical senses must have been incredibly life changing.  But it’s my belief that they felt something else, something not discerned through the empirical senses.  They felt spiritual stirrings of worship, adoration, and humility.  The record indicates that after He left them, they immediately began to spread the news of His coming and that He would return the next day to minister to them again.  This spurred many to “labor exceedingly all that night, that they might be on the morrow in the place where Jesus should show Himself unto the multitude.” (3 Nephi 17:3)  This inner feeling, this spiritual connection with Deity is the thing that, in my opinion, makes the difference between a social connection to Church membership and a pure love of God and of all men.  This spiritual feeling is the thing that converts us, spurs us to repent, seeking to become more like the Savior.  This inner witness, this spiritual confirmation of the Savior’s divinity, is the thing which makes the gospel become a well of living water within us.  It is the thing which the social members never understand and consequently never seek, content with the superficial connection they have always found to be enough.  Unless one has felt the love of God personally, their life is balanced precariously upon a pogo stick.  Until one has tasted of the goodness of God, has felt His tender mercy, felt completely unworthy of Him even though their desires are pure, and yearned for His atoning blood to cleanse them, their lives will be fragile and susceptible to the devil’s wiles.  

This work of personal conversion requires a lot of self introspection and hard word to apply the principles that lead one to the acquisition of godlike qualities and characteristics.  Though the Lord is the one that changes our natures, I can’t access that power unless I’m willing to strive with all my effort consistently.  How else can I declare my true desire?  How else can my motives be purified?  But after all I can do, which sometimes isn’t much, I have come to trust in the Holy One and in His incomparable merits, mercy, and grace that will complete that which I can only meagerly attempt.  

I had an interesting impression come to me this morning as I prayed prior to beginning an Indexing session.  I pray to be accurate and complete but also to learn how not to be so irritated by people whose work is sloppy because they haven’t done their preparation to know the rules that apply to each type of batch.  It’s like they just jump in, thinking they’ll be able to swim but cannot.  Worse, they just keep repeating the same mistakes, all of which I then have to take extra time to repair.  However, for the past couple of weeks, I have prayed for help to learn how to be grateful for what they DO and not what they DON’T do or do well.  We all make mistakes, some more and some less but at least they are trying to be engaged in this portion of the Lord’s work.  So this morning as I began my session with prayer, the sweet, gentle impression came to me to pray at the conclusion of my sessions, to thank the Lord for the help given me to accomplish each of my goals while Indexing.  I sense the sacred nature of this work and its role in redeeming all of mankind except for the few who refuse the incomparable gift of the Savior’s atonement.  How can I be critical of someone else’s performance and yet plead for help with my own weaknesses?  

One of those visiting with the Bishop was a Sister to whom I had given a blessing in the hospital’s Covid Ward when she was suffering from Covid’s effects.  It was the blessing when I had as my companion a man who struggles with severe emotional issues and who caused me enough consternation in the process to unnerve me when pronouncing a blessing upon her.  I talked with her for several minutes tonight and she mentioned that blessing in the conversation.  She said that immediately after she received the blessing from the Lord, she felt a difference in her body.  From that movement on she began to get better, much better, so much so that her doctors expressed amazement at her change for the positive.  I could tell she had been affected by the experience.  I think it changed her in more ways than just physically.  As I pondered on that experience, one which disturbed me for a few days because of what the other Brother did to interrupt the flow of the Spirit at that crucial time.  As I knelt in prayer prior to leaving the house to go give the blessing, I felt prompted to bless her with certain things.  This isn’t usually the way I receive direction for blessings and so I tried to set aside those thoughts as being mine.  When I am asked to be the voice in giving a blessing, I seek to know the Lord’s will regarding the person to whom the blessing is given.  But because of the unusual circumstances surrounding her blessing, my mind was in turmoil as I laid my hands on her head.  After saying what is required, I paused, waiting for the Spirit to speak through me to her.  At first, nothing came.  Then those impressions that I had received while praying came clearly into my mind, and for the lack of anything else to say, I spoke exactly what had been given to me.  Tonight, those blessings and promises were all confirmed to me by her.  As I think about it, the Lord obviously knew what would happen with the other Brother, knowing I would be unnerved by it then and probably not able to act as the conduit I needed to be, so he gave the words for her blessing to me prior to that moment and at the exact time I needed something they came clearly into my mind.  I never cease to marvel at how detailed His involvement in our lives is when we are willing to recognize it.

I slept later than usual for which I blame the time change, which I hate.  When I awoke, I did some general reading regarding a variety of topics.  But I focused my gospel study this morning on President Nelson’s opening remarks during last October’s General Conference and Elder Holland’s talk which followed directly.  I was touched by several things in each talk.  As I pondered these things, some impressions came to me.  However, some of the impressions pertained to something over which I have no control.  It was about how to improve the talks given in sacrament meeting.  I felt that a bishopric would be wise to invest in more spiritual guidance when selecting the topics and speakers.  I thought it would be beneficial to use the direction given by President Nelson when explaining what focus of the conference talks would be, “The General Authorities and General Officers of the Church who speak will focus their messages on our Savior, Jesus Christ, His mercy, and His infinite redeeming power. There has never been a time in the history of the world when knowledge of our Savior is more personally vital and relevant to every human soul.”  Over the years, including my own service as a bishop, I think the objective is often, if not mostly, just to get someone willing to speak, without regards who the Lord might want to speak and about what they should speak.  Had I to do it again, I would more prayerfully select speakers for sacrament meeting.  I would ask them well in advance, to prayerfully choose a topic they felt the Lord would want addressed that fits within the parameters of President Nelson’s explanation.  I would want these topics to center on Jesus Christ, His atonement, His mercy and power to heal, strengthen, and redeem.  Any gospel topic that emanates from, points to, and inspires increased faith in Jesus Christ would fall under this Messianic umbrella.  I think this topic should be reviewed with the Bishopric member who assigned them in order to minimize risk.  Putting this level of trust in people with vibrant, growing testimonies of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ would allow them the opportunity to receive revelation and grow spiritually.  I imagine allowing them at least a month to process all of this.  This would require much more of the bishopric members but I believe that it would greatly enhance the quality of sacrament meeting talks and produce more inspirational experiences for those who attend.  I hope this is valuable to one of you.  Otherwise, I have no idea why these thoughts came to me.

I saw something in the Book of Mormon these past few days that I had never noticed before.  In I Nephi 17, Nephi recounts an experience with his brothers, Laman and Lemuel.  When it became noticeable that he intended to build a ship upon which they would embark across the endless sea, these two faithless men rose up in anger, recounting the foolishness of leaving Jerusalem in the first place and now expressing their intent to withhold their help in building the ship.  Their lack of faith was on full display.  Nephi’s response was interesting to me.  He began to compare their circumstances to those of Israel’s rescue from Egypt and ultimately settling in the land that had been initially promised to Abraham and subsequently to his posterity.  Eleven times he stated specific things about Israel’s history which they knew to be true.  Eleven witnesses to God’s power of deliverance.  Despite being unable to counter Nephi’s logic, they were angry enough with him to threaten to throw him into the ocean.  His life in danger, and in the majesty of God’s power he warned them not to touch him or they would instantly perish.  Apparently, his countenance was convincing enough to dissuade them from their evil intent.  After a shocking experience of being touched lightly by God’s power, Nephi continued his reasoning.  His closing argument was powerful.  If God had then provided deliverance to Israel, regardless of Egypt’s might, why could He not now instruct them to build a ship? 

In Mosiah 15:8 Abinadi says, “Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.”  The doctrine of the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father is powerful and requisite if exaltation is desired.  It was this submission of will, from Son to Father, that allowed the Father to grant power to the Son to make possible the resurrection, providing a critical step in the great plan of redemption.  I suspect many feel reluctant to submit their will to God’s, even in the smallest measure,  because it might seem to them as if they are surrendering their own individuality.  It may seem that they will experience an assimilation of such magnitude that they will surrender everything they love, desire, know, or even be.  For those whose alienation from God is their path of choice, it’s easy to understand why one would feel this way.  “Light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” John 3:19  But for those whose desires are to ultimately become like God, this example of Christ’s willingness to allow His will to be swallowed up by the will of His Father is foundationally transformative.  It isn’t easy to surrender one’s will to another, even to God, perhaps especially to God, because He expects more of us than anyone else.  I believe that is true because He recognizes far more than anyone else our divine potential and has paid such a heavy price to make this glorious quest possible.  The ironic thing for me is that those who fear losing their own willful identity in the process of being swallowed up are actually denying themselves of the potential for unlimited expression.  The adversary has offered this dismal shadow of such expression and shouted loudly how it can only be achieved by worshiping one’s own will to the exclusion of considering anyone else’s.  By allowing our will to be swallowed up in God’s, we concede that our will is incredibly limited whereas God’s will is literally expressed universally and eternally.  By committing to being swallowed up, to be completely consumed by God’s thoughts and ways, we place ourselves on the only path that leads to that marvelously expansive conclusion.  I suspect that to become like God is to allow Him to tutor us in the process, something that can be painfully difficult at times.  When we choose to let Him prevail in our lives, we free Him to actually prevail and make us something that is otherwise impossible if left to our own devices.

I had occasion to ponder somewhat on the nature of self worth today.  The world’s concept of self worth is dependent upon praise and acceptability.  It’s all conditional which places self worth in someone or something else’s control.  Worth in the eyes of God is inherent to the individual, it’s not dependent upon any exigent element.  It just inherently exists within each child of God.  It’s easy to see why Lucifer works so diligently to distort that reality, especially susceptible children and youth.

I’m eager to begin studying the Old Testament this year.  I find it a treasure trove of types and shadows pointing to the Savior.  I love the people and their varied experiences, many full of faith and even more lacking any faith at all.  It becomes crystal clear how much Heavenly Father loves His children.  He is constantly encouraging them to love and worship Him and quick to reward them when they do.  However, He isn’t loath to withhold promised blessings if the conditions upon which those blessings are predicated aren’t met.  Watching societies, even civilizations, struggle alone without God is a powerful sermon in itself.  

The Lord mentioned two gates leading to two paths.  The two gates represent the ONLY two choices each of God’s children have in this life.  Each of God’s children were given by God their individual and independent right to choose between the two. (personal agency)  The Lord’s description of the two gates and paths is interesting.  “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” (Mathew 7:13,14) Recently, as I was pondering these two choices, I came to see more clearly the nature of these two gates.  The one is narrow enough that relatively few will not only find it but be unwilling to enter it.  It appears restrictive to those who choose the wider gate.  It should be noted that the word “find” in this instance implies one would have to be searching for the gate, exercising their own agency and desiring something more, even whispers from above assisting them in their search.  As for the width of that gate whose builder is Satan, it represents the vast array of options that exist in the world excluding only the divine potential offered by entering the strait and narrow gate and following the strait and narrow path which leads one to an expanse of fulfillment and opportunities so magnificent that the human mind is incapable of even imagining it.  If one does not choose the narrow gate, the appearance of other options is seemingly almost limitless.  Satan’s smorgasbord of options was designed to appeal to a vast variety of interests and expressions, but all with the same miserable outcome.  Within those options is hidden the realization that regardless of how appealing the option may appear, the result for each will be the same, estrangement from the one true source of joy and peace.  Satan is a master at deception.  His works are always accomplished in the dark, illuminating them with only the veiled perception of false light, not real light because he has no light.  Unless one becomes acquainted with the true light, the true joy the Gospel of Jesus Christ offers, their odds of finding the only gate leading to the only path that leads to ultimate happiness, joy, and opportunity are significantly impaired.  I have felt this love and peace and joy.  It’s value is above all other things.  It is the pearl of great price one finds and sells all in order to obtain.  If you are reading this, and have yet to know and feel these things for yourself, if you are searching for something even if you can’t quite put your finger on what it is, I assure you it exists.  It can be found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Lord’s church upon the earth.  It has the doctrine of salvation and exaltation in its fullness.  I invite you to come and see for yourself.  The gate is always open to the honest seeker of truth, to anyone seeking to break free from the dark bondage offered by the evil one.  This gate, this path, will lead you to Jesus Christ, if you will only choose to enter and follow.  Believe me, the narrow gate and path are neither restrictive nor deceptive.  There is only one choice that leads to freedom.  It’s the strait and narrow one. 

I am more acutely aware of the weaknesses in my life that cause me grief because I can’t seem to overcome the tendencies they produce.  I am constantly fighting temptations, none of which would be considered outwardly as significant as inwardly.  These temptations don’t represent what I want, and what I need in order to become like Christ.  As I was pondering this early this morning and asking the Lord questions regarding my situation, I had an interesting impression come to me.  One of the things I asked was how I could ever overcome one particular challenge I have faced for many decades.  In answer, the impression was simple, yet, for me at least, very powerful.  It was this, some temptations will likely be with me my entire life, but by fighting them, resisting them, even though it seems like a futile endeavor, my desire and effort to overcome them is actually strengthening me and is recognized and valued in heaven.  It’s the striving to overcome that will ultimately result in overcoming, combined with the Lord’s help of course.  As this simple concept settled into my mind I felt peace and I knew it was true.  I can neither save nor heal myself but in order to be saved and healed, I have to do my part.  I have to resist and strive with all my mental and physical capacity to not yield to this, or any, temptation.  I can do that.  That is within my power to do.  I have fought this battle for a long time and I can do it longer still.  The Lord will enable and support me even in my most trying times.  I needn’t have feelings of guilt or hopelessness because I experience the temptation as long as I don’t yield.  I can’t control what temptations are put before me but I can control how I respond to them.  

This morning I was reviewing my 2021 journal.  Two entries on July 15 and 16 recounted an unnerving experience while giving a blessing to a woman in the hospital suffering with Covid.  In addition to the reconciling thoughts and impressions I had then, I’ve had some additional thoughts since then.  The most pronounced is that my customary approach of making myself available to receive the Lord’s will on behalf of a person in need was incredibly restrictive.  The Lord responds to us in His own way, His own time, and according to His own will (outcome).  By limiting when I would be willing to receive divine direction placed limits on Him that I had no right to place.  My job is to be available always, in all places, for anyone.  This new perspective is quite liberating and has allowed me to be a better servant.  Jo spent quite a bit of her time today working on Tony’s business records.  I, in turn, worked on my journal review.  We went out to dinner this evening and had an enjoyable time.

My mind had been on something that first formed while serving in the addiction recovery program.  One of the most misunderstood experiences during recovery is relapse.  It can be devastating for some.  The mindset usually is that when they use, they feel enormous guilt and shame.  The difference between those two things is critical to understand recovery.  Guilt conveys the message that you have done something wrong that you need to correct.  Shame conveys a much more insidious message.  Shame says that you are wrong, not that you have done something wrong.  It conveys that you are broken and can’t be fixed.  Something horrible is wrong with you and you are irreparable.  Guilt encourages continued effort, shame does just the opposite.  When a person uses and experiences these emotions in greater or lesser measure, they promise themselves that they will never use again.  They don’t want to use, but the compelling nature of addictive substances and behaviors can be overpowering at times.  As they move forward and ultimately relapse, sometimes even the same day they made the promise, their hope is shattered and they are thrust back behind the wall of shame and are more inclined to believe that recovery is impossible.  Guilt can, over time and with repetitive failures, become shame because it seems to them that no matter what they do, they can’t seem to overcome the compulsion to use, hence they are broken, something is wrong with them.  I saw several individuals who, after years of support group attendance, would simply throw their hands in the air in utter frustration and proclaim that they just can’t do it, that they can’t overcome their addiction.  Interestingly, others could progressively overcome their addictive substances and behaviors.  I wondered why that was.  Certainly there are a variety of variables involved in both the choice to use as well as how one strives to recover.  But over time I became acquainted with a concept that I believe can influence the nature of the outcome of recovery efforts.  At first it was nebulous but recently I came across a statement that seemed to solidify the concept, at least for me.  It is, focus on progress rather than failure.  Relapse is always viewed as failure.  It often convinces the person who relapses that all of the effort that went into deferring relapse was now invalidated and they would have to return to the original starting point in order to begin again.  That puts a lot of pressure and responsibility on a person not to relapse, which is an unreasonable expectation.  While relapse is not a part of recovery, it will likely occur during the time one is striving to recover.  So rather than promising themselves that they will never do it again, a wiser, more effective course of action would be to acknowledge the relapse, identify why it occurred this time, prepare to avoid similar triggers in the future and mark the time between the last relapse and the current one.  If formally measured and recorded, one can find encouragement in lengthening the time between relapses and see it as progress toward ultimate recovery rather than another failure.  The time in between can be evaluated for both negative and positive behaviors and desires as they relate to relapse.  Step by step, one can continue to move forward without beating themselves to death over continued and perceived failure.  I believe this concept is not only applicable to recovery from addictive substances and behaviors, but also habitual sin.  If the person can focus on the process of righteous progress, they can avoid the shame that results from continual failure.  Extending the time between occurrences can be powerful encouragement instead of just focusing on the fact that you committed the same troubling sin yet again.  This focus on progress, understanding yourself, and repenting or trying again, and again, and yet again, until you reach your ultimate objective, is far more manageable than promising you will never sin again, which truly is an unreasonable expectation while being mortal.  May I clarify that I’m applying this process to individual sins, not an overall evaluation of your life.  Some things may cause you no concern or trouble at all, while at the same time struggling intently with a particular challenge.  This concept applies only to any particularly troubling, sinful weakness.  As a person applies this process to the varied things in their life that trouble them, over time and with the Lord’s help and direction, there isn’t anything that they can’t overcome if they want to and are willing to pay the price to strive with all of their heart, might, mind, and strength which qualifies a person for the Savior’s grace.  I should also add the disclaimer that some troubling things may require additional, professional help.  But identifying that and utilizing that type of help would come under the umbrella of striving.  

Each day I strive to become more like the Savior.  Like Peter on the uncertain terrain of the Sea of Galilee, as long as he kept his eyes riveted on the Savior he successfully moved toward Him.  However, when his focus became distracted and his focus relocated to the water upon which he walked, his faith failed him and he sank, crying out for the Savior to save him.  When embarking upon such an enormous project as becoming Christlike, my focus is of critical importance.  Without the Savior’s power, such a task is impossible.  If I lose focus on Him, I too sink, as I have done many times, crying out in despair for His saving grace.  But I can sense a greater urgency to traverse new ground in this process, to move ever closer to Him before my mortal journey concludes.  I feel Him near me, urging me onward, lending to me strength I do not have without Him.  But even then, my weakness becomes exposed and I fail in my striving.  If I focus on my failures it’s easy to sink into the dark waters.  But I have learned that such interval events are not conclusional unless I allow them to be.  Under the light of truth they become learning and motivational points upon which my progress can be improved in the future.  Just learn, implement, and continue to move forward with my eyes firmly fixed on the only One who can bring me home.

The doctrines of the gospel of God are like an onion or any other layered fruit.  To get to the center of it all, one must peel away the outer layers first.  This requires desire, real desire, devotion, patience, pondering, persistence, and acceptance of the fact that this will come “line upon line, here a little and there a little” and settle upon us as the “dews from heaven.”  Growing up in a dry climate allowed me to understand the settling of the dew during the night as the temperatures dropped enough to allow what moisture the air did hold to condense upon the leaves of the alfalfa plants we grew.  Walking through an alfalfa field early in the morning, before the rays of the sun evaporated the fragile water, would drench my pants and shoes.  There was such little water in the air, but when condensed it was significant.  Not only learning but adopting these doctrines is the process of a lifetime.  But know this, they have been manna to my soul.  They point to the Holy One, Him who has the power to heal all my character flaws and bring peace to my troubled soul.  Right now, in the twilight of my life, at least I hope it’s the twilight and not midnight, I am embracing these doctrines in sweet ways that I never before have.  The highlight of most of my days is my engagement with these spiritual insights early in the morning, before the day is upon me.  The scriptures are alive to me.  They feed my hungry soul and quench my longing thirst as I ponder upon the Savior of all mankind.  I love Him.  I am incredibly grateful for Him and His atoning mission to rescue us all, even if for the moment we don’t realize we need rescuing.  

I was asked by the Elders Quorum President to share a thought about the Come Follow Me reading assignment for this week.  Without delving too deeply into Genesis 24-27, it’s hard not to notice some recurring generational concerns parents had about their children marrying someone whose life was not aligned with a belief in and love of the God of their fathers.  Abraham, most certainly in conjunction with Sarah’s feelings, expressed deep concern that Isaac not marry a woman who knew not God.  He sent his most trusted servant to the land of his kindred to seek an appropriate wife for Isaac. A generation later, both Isaac and Rebekah expressed concerns about a potential wife for Jacob, especially after Esau married outside of his covenant faith.  Perpetuating the covenantal promises which Jehovah offered Abraham and Sarah, but which most certainly began with Adam and Eve, was not only crucially important to them but was critically dependent upon each succeeding generation making the same eternal covenant with God.  Receiving and keeping this covenant allows the next generation to access the same sacred and eternal promises, including eternal increase.  Making this marital covenant with God requires both husband and wife to be faithful to God’s laws and value deeply the responsibilities and promises extended to them.  Marrying outside those covenantal boundaries makes obtaining such magnificent promises impossible without a significant course correction through the divine gift of repentance, which while certainly possible, is definitely the more difficult path.  Given these considerations, is it any wonder Abraham and Sarah, and subsequently Isaac and Rebekah went to such lengths to provide their covenant children with the most likely opportunity to make such a covenant?  While our societal mores are different than Abraham’s, Isaac’s and Jacob’s, the imperative desire contemporary faithful parents have for their children, to cleave to these very same promises received through covenant, as exemplified by those three ancient patriarchs, is no less compelling now than it was then.  Comparatively, should our current desires and efforts to encourage and persuade reluctant children to embrace such a magnificent offer by God be any less than theirs?  And considering our many ancestors who may not have had the opportunity to make such a covenant with God, should our efforts to unite them vicariously through sacred temple ordinances be any less than those extended to our posterity?”

Early this morning I read a talk given by Elder Kyle S. McKay titled The Immediate Goodness of God.  I was deeply touched in several ways.  I have come to love and trust anything Elder McKay says.  I absolutely love his ability to be clear.  I think that God’s love is often misunderstood because we use our temporal perspective to define it.  It’s not unusual for us to view everything through the lens of mortality.  If our existence began at mortal birth and ends at mortal death, our perspective is incredibly limited.  Any pain, loss, adversity, or failure could easily be construed as detrimental to our pursuit of happiness, however we may define it.  But if our consciousness, our innate identity, never began but always existed in some form, was enhanced through a process of premortal birth to heavenly parents whose core motive was love for their children, to the point of developing a plan whereby they could develop and ultimately become like them with boundless expression and fulfillment, and if this mortal experience was an essential portion of this developmental process of becoming divine, and if mortal death also played and essential role in this process, and that life didn’t end with mortal death but would exist forever, one would be constrained to view mortality’s troubles much differently.  That is why the gospel of God is the ultimate good news.  Divine love is drastically different than the love many mortals experience.  God’s love is tutorial.  It has a divine purpose and expression.  It is embodied in the sacrifice of God’s firstborn son who voluntarily came to earth to heal and repair all of life’s breaches through suffering unimaginable to any mortal.  The greatest of all acts of pure, divine love offered freely to bless all who would accept it.  God’s love is expressed both in justice and mercy, justice for those harmed and mercy for repentant harmers.  Divine love is ever present and available and when felt it can be life changing.  But God’s love is never forced upon anyone but offered freely and universally.  His goodness is beyond any reproach, and certainly beyond any mortal effort to question or doubt.  I have tasted of His divine love on multiple occasions.  I have seen His holy hand in my life more times than I can count.  His goodness to me is partially manifest in his tireless patience with me but is also manifest by what He did to make my mortal journey more meaningful, more fulfilling, and certainly more hopeful.  And so it is with all his children.

In Alma 21:17 some of the sons of Mosiah and their missionary companions had been delivered from prison and now went about continuing their efforts to bring the message of redemption to any who would listen, which for them to this point had been nominally effective.  This verse elaborated that the Lord began to bless them with success.  The thing which captured my attention was the importance of patience in the process.  It didn’t happen immediately.  It often doesn’t happen as fast as we would like.  Sometimes it seems as if it will never happen.  When we patiently embrace the process and the time required for its initiation, growth, development, and success all to mature to fruition, we can tolerate the inevitable opposition to whatever it is we want to accomplish.  Patience and the ability to press through a lengthy time before results are evident is, I believe, a divine characteristic.

As I awakened early this morning, and while reading a talk by President Oaks, I began to ponder on the power of perspective.  Most of the world operates within mortal parameters, beginning at birth and ending at death.  If indeed that represented reality it would completely unhinge behavior from any ultimate moorings and dismantle any accountability other than what society would define and could enforce.  In my humble opinion, that would mean the utter abandonment of all accountability.  The natural man strains at restraint, especially extraneous restraint.  To the natural man self restraint is anathema, leaving no restraints to limit behavior because one would never have to confront personal accountability to anyone or for anything.  But if mortal birth and death are not the parameters, if mortality is just a portion, albeit an essential portion, of a grander reality with divinely established laws that will require personal accountability to the creator of those laws with inescapable consequences for both obedience and disobedience to those laws, one’s perspective is constrained to change.  

For some time I have noticed with greater clarity a pronounced disparity between believing Christ has power to exalt anyone willing to follow Him and those who believe He can exalt everyone except themselves.  This limiting of Christ’s infinite and eternal atonement, in my mind, is the highest possible repudiation of Jesus Christ, other than those few who fully embrace perdition’s untenable preference for darkness.  For one to say that they are an exception to God’s limitless grace is incredibly self centered.  What could possibly make them so special as to place them beyond God’s grace?  God’s divine grace is limitless, it knows no bounds.  Regardless of what one has done, excepting those mentioned above, there is nothing that cannot be forgiven.  All other perceptions regarding Christ’s ability to cleanse and heal originate from perdition’s filthy fortress.  

Early this morning I read a talk titled Miracles by Elder Ronald A. Rasband.  As I pondered the perspective of miracle vs coincidence, I can understand why some people believe more in coincidence.  It requires a connection with the Holy Ghost to become more aware of the Lord’s hand in a person’s life.  The litany of miracles I’ve experienced in my life have eliminated any lingering consideration of coincidence being the cause or reason for what happened.  At this point in my life, almost every day I experience something that I consider miraculous.  As a person draws nearer to the Lord, they become more familiar with the Lord’s character.  They recognize in Him all of the divine qualities manifest perfectly.  For me, it inspires me to become better, to work at changing the characteristics in my life that don’t align with His.  Granted, I could never accomplish such a massive change if only my own abilities were at play.  But they aren’t.  My meager measures only express a genuine desire for and need of His help.  Fortunately, that is all He really requires and consequently, I feel His influence and aid in my life.  

Early this morning I read a talk given in General Conference in October of 2001 titled The Power of a Strong Testimony.  As I pondered his counsel it occurred to me that there is a rudimentary decision each person will ultimately confront.  It is an existential question.  Am I the result of happenstance or design?  Can I believe our existence can be attributed to the spinning of some universal roulette wheel?  If so, could I ever feel safe?  Such a foundational belief would inherently present a constant state of uncertainty as well as a torturous lack of meaning.  If not, then what?  If one cannot believe that such a magnificent universe, including the complexity of a human being, resulted from mere chance, regardless of the extensive time involved, what alternatives remain?  Who or what could have designed and created such an incomprehensible universe?  And, perhaps more importantly, why?  It seems to me that the world simply cannot provide answers to these existential questions, even though enormous resources and effort are expended in the search for these answers.  Must such an impactful decision be made arbitrarily?  Upon what evidence can this decision be made?  The extent of creation certainly infers unimaginable intellect and power.  But inference alone doesn’t lead to certainty.  Scientific discovery is extensive but historically plagued by the elusiveness of absolute truth.  Religious inquiry seeks truth via a different process.  The basis for their route is rooted in their observational belief that the universe and its inhabitants were not merely the composite result of an unimaginable game of chance.  They are affirmatively seeking the Creator.  My faith is founded upon a long string of witnesses who have testified of His existence and truths derived from personal contact with Him.  From these divine interactions come a flurry of doctrinal beliefs that tie us more intimately to the Creator than just passengers on the same train.  As one seeks God, recognizing their paternal connection to Him, a steady flow of understanding and confirmation is readily available.  In the words of Joshua, one who testified of God, “choose you this day whom ye will serve; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”.  Count me with Joshua.

This morning I pondered the irony of those who judge God.  Transforming God from the One who judges to one who is judged by those whose infinitesimal understanding of anything is like spitting into the ocean when compared to the majesty of God’s knowledge, understanding, power, and intent.  I believe mortals judge God for a variety of reasons.  Mortal hopes often go unfulfilled even after lengthy pleading for God’s will to conform to theirs.  Such disappointment can lead one to conclude that God is either nonexistent, absent, or without feeling.  Many view the almost universal injustice and inhumanity perpetrated by evil individuals and can only conclude that God is either nonexistent, absent, or sadistic.  Individuals whose lives are alien to anything taught and expected by God are caught in the quandary of why they are so miserable even when they are free to express themselves without restraint, seeking only to gratify their own carnal pleasure.  For covenant children of God who so often fall short of divine expectation, faith and devotion to their covenants dwindles until they are constrained to either judge God to be something He is not or eliminate Him from the equation of their lives in a vain attempt to extinguish the very guilt that God provides to inspire correction.  Certainly the disparity between God and His mortal children is humanly unimaginable.  But rather than judge God rashly or vainly, the more satisfying and fulfilling course of action would be to turn toward Him rather than away from Him.  Really, it is peace we all seek and it is only available from one source, the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.  It is only through the life and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, relying wholly upon His merits, mercy, and grace that exoneration and peace are brought to bear in one’s life.  Rather than judging God from humanity’s meager perspective, chose to trust God’s unlimited love, concern, experience and perspective and begin to turn to Him.  Rather than judging God, invite Him into your life and find therein everything you have been missing.  

This morning I reread one of my favorite talks titled My Grace is Sufficient by Brad Wilcox.  His perspective on the Atonement of Christ and his ability to explain sometimes hard to understand aspects about Christ’s atonement has always struck me as exemplary.  Brother Wilcox transposes Satan’s explanation of Christ’s atonement, which can create an overwhelming sense of failure in people when they focus on their failure to be perfect, into  the essential understanding of Christ’s willingness, eagerness, and capacity to enable one to overcome mortality’s deadly consequences.  His merciful grace can heal one’s injuries from their mortal experience and convert them into faithful disciples of Christ, full of divine potential and possibility despite mortal weakness.  I believe that one of the reasons so many people flounder in gospel living is they simply do not understand or believe what Christ is capable of accomplishing in their lives.  Until one turns to Him and engages His love, compassion, purpose, and power in their own life through willing repentance, regardless of the severity of sin, they will be strangers to Him and foreign to His sacred power to save and redeem.  

Independence Day.  The liberty we now enjoy does not come without a price.  This land was once free and would have remained free forever if its inhabitants had only obeyed Jehovah’s commandments, triggering promises of freedom and prosperity.  Despite vacillating between freedom and captivity for hundreds of years, the people finally rebelled against God’s good promises and rejected Him entirely, causing the vast majority of the population to become extinct.  This rejection of Jehovah, through their desire for and implementation of wickedness on a massive scale caused them to forfeit the sacred gift of freedom.  Having had part in shedding the blood of Christ, if only symbolically, required any future inhabitants of this land to redeem it with the shedding of their own blood.  The struggle for political freedom from tyrannical whims lasted for many years against a far superior military foe.  The willingness of many colonists to shed their blood in freedom’s pursuit brought about heaven’s help in securing the very freedom they sought.  God’s hand was evident in the population of the land and the creation of a government who held freedom in high enough regard to assure its future by dividing power in as many ways possible.  It hurts my heart to watch a massive effort unified to overthrow all that is good and divine about America.  This malicious movement seeks to abolish all order and governmental protection in the name of vengeance for all of its wrongs.  It would seem to me that trying to work together to right such wrongs would be a more productive approach.  But when considering who the originator of such chaos is, I suspect many involved in the movement of destruction will someday have their eyes opened and realize they were only pawns in a far more destructive objective, hatched in the most evil of minds.  

Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. (D&C 6:36)  Such a short verse, yet packed with implications that cause many to wrestle with its meaning.  It’s hard to imagine that we can only think about the Lord.  I’m more inclined to think its meaning is more about allowing our relationship with Christ to influence the nature of our thoughts, that we may please Him the way He pleased His Father.  When considering the vast array of thoughts that cross the stage of my mind during any given day, I’m led to think that devotion to focus and management are essential.  Certainly I originate some of my thoughts, but not all.  Often I find thoughts on the stage of my mind that are unwelcome.  Some of those thoughts are planted in my mind by my greatest adversary.  I cannot control what he does, but I can respond immediately to any negative thought, regardless of its origin.  Speaking of origins, I admit that not only do I spawn some of my own less than desirable thoughts but I engage in behaviors and interact in unfavorable environments that grease the skids leading to my brain.  So, in fact, how and why I do things can impact my thought process, either in a positive or negative way.  Consequently, if my focus is on the Lord, I can mitigate many of the unwelcome characters on the stage of my mind before the play begins.  And even when a dubious or malicious actor intrudes upon my stage, I can exterminate it immediately.  That is well within my power.  

This morning a portion of my study included 3 Nephi chapter 16.  The expansive mission of God to redeem His children from the fall, which was a divine necessity if returning to God and claiming the fullness of His blessings was one’s objective, seemed to reach deeper into my soul as I read and pondered these verses this morning.  His investment in us should never be discounted.  Can one ever feel alone if they understand what divine lengths have been taken to avail us of all things necessary to become like God?  To feel His love, really and personally, is life altering.  I believe such an experience is available to all who love and serve Him.  

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is eternally multilayered.  I encountered a thought this morning that opened new doors for me.  3 Nephi 17:2,3 gave me pause to ponder.  Often I find ascertaining God’s intent for me, either when viewed with a wide lens or when focused on the day at hand, can be more challenging on some days than on others.  Mortality provides a plethora of variables which we must confront.  I believe these variables can affect our efforts to commune with God.  These verses record the Savior’s counsel to those who were having difficulty understanding what He was teaching them.  He instructed them to go home, pray, and ponder about the things He’d said.  But the part that struck me this morning was the admonition to prepare their minds for what they would experience when they met with Him the next day.  As I pondered those words, the realization came clearly into my mind that I am guilty of failing to prepare my mind before approaching Him in prayer.  So often I just fall to my knees and say my peace without preparing to approach the throne of the Almighty.  There are times when I do prepare to pray but those would be the exception rather than the rule.  I determined this morning to change that aspect of my workshop.  He deserves far more than my divided attention.  

During Sunday School today the teacher espoused a doctrine with which I wasn’t comfortable.  She said that when God speaks, presumably through His prophet(s), each person has the right to ask God if what He said applies to them personally or not.  If not, they are under no obligation to hearken.  I found that incredibly troubling on many levels.  If one has so little confidence in God’s prophetic guidance that they must review each morsel of divine love through the lens of their own wisdom, experience, or values, they surely stand on unstable ground.  In essence they become their own prophet, hence why the need for prophets at all?  Given human weakness being so prevalent, personal agendas can often be substituted for God’s will when personal desire is strongly opposed to what God would want.  This opens the door wider for Satanic influence to disguise, distort, or destroy God’s intent.  Elder N. Eldon Tanner made this very clear, “The Prophet spoke out clearly on Friday morning, telling us what our responsibilities are … A man said to me after that, ‘You know, there are people in our state who believe in following the Prophet in everything they think is right, but when it is something they think isn’t right, and it doesn’t appeal to them, then that’s different.’ He said, ‘Then they become their own prophet. They decide what the Lord wants and what the Lord doesn’t want.’ “I thought how true, and how serious when we begin to choose which of the covenants, which of the commandments we will keep and follow, we are taking the law of the Lord into our own hands and become our own prophets, and believe me, we will be led astray, because we are false prophets to ourselves when we do not follow the Prophet of God. No, we should never discriminate between these commandments, as to those we should and should not keep.”  For me, becoming absolutely certain that God does speak through His prophets and that following prophetic guidance regardless of my own perspectives eliminates the need to selectively determine God’s will as it applies to me and what doesn’t.  I believe that if God chooses to speak through His prophet, it would be incredibly arrogant of me to think that I was the exception to divine counsel.  When the prophets speak, I strive to listen and hearken unto them.  I was annoyed that she taught such a flawed and dangerous concept but I didn’t say anything.  Lineage was brought up also by a man who has strong opinions and isn’t afraid to voice them.  He said we aren’t looking for those whose blood stems from Abraham, Isaac, or Jacob but rather for those willing to let God prevail.  While partially true, it is still only partially true.  If one were to read 2 Nephi chapter 3, as a sampler of far more extensive expressions of God’s loyalty to the covenant He made with Abraham and offers his posterity, they would be far less inclined to believe that lineage doesn’t matter.  His covenant with Abraham follows that lineage wherever it may lead.  We are indeed seeking the blood of Israel, to bring them to the knowledge of their fathers, the gospel and its eternal covenants.  That blood has been scattered among the nations.  The blood of Israel, through Ephraim, holds the birthright blessing and presides over all other tribes or people.  They hold the keys of the Holy Priesthood and preside over the restoration and the gathering of Israel.  Lineage is important.  Letting God prevail supersedes lineage alone, as Paul said, “For they are not all Israel, which are of Israel”, which means lineage alone will be of no avail if a person is unwilling to allow God to prevail in their own life.  It’s this prevalent belief among many church members that lineage is insignificant that puts the burr under my saddle.   

For millennia the origin of the earth has been debated and is a topic that has spawned heated fighting.  My personal recollection includes hours and hours pouring over scriptural accounts and commentaries trying to understand how the earth was created.  After all that, now in my waning years, I have come to understand that what we know about the creation of the earth is miniscule compared to what we don’t know.  If one is honest with themselves, they will come to realize that the Lord has never, at least to a widespread audience, provided any significant details about how the earth was created.  What He has made clear is that Jehovah created the earth under the authorization of His eternal heavenly Father.  Also made clear, is the incredibly important reason why He created it.  That revealed reason lends purpose to the life of every inhabitant of earth, regardless of the time period in which they live or lived.  It’s clear also that the creation was a progressive process executed according to a divine plan.  That man is its caretaker cannot be disputed if restored revelation is to be believed.  In my opinion, mankind has been a careless caretaker.  The earth, in my opinion, has been abused in a variety of ways, most closely tied to the sin of greed.  Rather than fret about the things we don’t know about the earth’s creation, it might surely be a more productive use of our time to seek understanding about why we are here on the earth and what we can do with and for it.

This morning I came upon this hidden gem that is ripe with powerful doctrine that many, if not most, fail to understand.  Psalm 78:41 Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel.  Our belief in God includes the belief that He is Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent.  How then, can mortal man limit God?  The answer lies in the agency given to man by God for an essential and crucial purpose.  Man’s agency allows for the freedom necessary to shape the course of each individual life.  God will never coerce but He certainly yearns for His children to choose Him.  He is the only source of salvational outcomes, and offers a vast range of those to accommodate the vast disparity of mankind’s willingness to comply with the conditions of salvation and exaltation.  Because of Christ’s atonement, all of the necessary legal obligations have been met and made available to all of God’s children.  However, the legal implications for fallen man are only part of the equation of salvation.  The other component is change.  If anyone wants to dwell with God, in any measure, they must conform and comply with the conditions (laws) of their new residence.  None of us, without the divine help offered freely by Christ’s atoning sacrifice, can change enough to warrant entrance into God’s most holy place.  That type of change not only requires God’s merciful and enabling help, but also a desire and willingness on the part of the individual to seek such an outcome.  That involves continual repentance (change) in order to transform one’s mortal nature into the nature of God.  The power God possesses to complete such a magnificent transformation is only limited by one’s lack of desire or unwillingness to seek Him.  How sad it is, considering the price that Christ paid to not only save but redeem each of God’s children, that so relatively few choose to receive less than is made possible and available to all.  “For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.” (D&C 88:333)

The certainty I feel regarding God, His Son Jesus Christ, and His eternal plan of redemption are all bricks that are tied together by the mortar of His divine love.  My personal experience with Him has been a process of laying one tier of bricks on top of another.  Over time, the rigidity and strength of what we’ve built together can weather the storms I have encountered.  Though I fully recognized that unless I continue to build my belief even stronger, I may not be able to withstand what awaits.  Casualness is the enemy of my soul and will always lead to deterioration within my walls.  Studying the Old Testament this year has been enlightening.  Some things are self-evident but some need to be seen in context and pondered about before understanding comes.  One thing that struck me was how many of the wicked kings sat upon the throne for extended lengths of time.  As I pondered that several thoughts began to come to the forefront of my mind.  Among them was that personal agency, one of the foundational of all God’s tenets, is sacrosanct and crucial to His grand plan of redemption and happiness.  God allows each of His children to determine their own course by virtue of the right to choose according to one’s desires, even if they are eternally destructive.  But with agency comes accountability.  Though full judgment is withheld during mortality, it will ultimately demand personal accountability.  Being mortal and watching loved ones make choices that I know they will come to regret is painful but requires restraint and patience to allow them their own mortal experience which is essential to their own eternal growth and development.  If it’s painful for me, it’s unimaginable for me to consider what it might be like for Christ, who sacrificed so much on behalf of each child of the Father.  Patience is a characteristic of Godliness.  I am left to conclude that the vagaries of the mortal experience by nature create within us the opportunities to develop patience, something we won’t want to be without when our accountability experience comes due.  

God given personal agency is a paramount doctrine in God’s Kingdom.  Everything He does to coax His children to return to Him and claim their eternal blessings that were promised to them before they came to earth depends upon their ability to make their own choices.  In my study it’s impossible to not recognize the impact agency has in the lives of individuals, relationships, communities, and countries.  Recently a thought has begun to germinate within my increasingly marginal gray matter.  I am coming to understand just how powerful agency really is.  Each person has been granted the right and power to choose their own path.  I don’t believe I have ever really seen it this way before, or at least framed in the way I now see it.  I believe the adversary strives to convince people that their circumstances dictate the terms of their life.  I think nothing could be further from the truth.  Certainly circumstances that affect each person are often shaped by the agency of someone else, leaving the individual to deal with damage, not of their own making.  Regardless of what is beyond one’s control, one thing is always, and entirely within each individual’s power to control.  It is to choose how they will respond, what they will make of what they have.  Joseph, Jacob’s son, is a prime example of this type of understanding.  Much of his path was charted for him.  He was unjustly treated on more than one occasion, each time resulting in circumstances that were worse than what they had been.  And yet, he chose to respond without self pity, or complaint, or in any negative way.  He always chose to forge forward and in doing so he allowed the Lord’s blessings to find him.  While many are victimized by the evil actions of others, it is through the tender mercies of a compassionate Savior, whose healing power can undo any injustice no matter how egregious, that justice will overpower injustice.  I’ve seen this happen in my own life.  It’s only in these last years that this has all become so clear to me.  I hold the power to determine my own outcome by virtue of the choices I make.  Imagine that.  Of course, once a choice is made, the outcome is out of our control.  A person having made their choice is now subject to God’s justice.  Only then, when that stark  realization settles upon one’s heart, does the need for a Savior, who stands betwixt them and justice, become efficaciously acute.  

The longer one postpones turning to Christ to engage the power of His atoning sacrifice, the greater their odds of forfeiting the choicest blessings God has to offer.  I can’t help but believe that much of the angst and suffering one experiences while still under Satan’s influence in the spirit world will be sheer, unadulterated regret.  The antidote is Christ.  It has always been Him.  He is the light and the life of all mankind.  He has been given power to heal the broken, to salve the suffering soul, and make one whole.  That supreme doctrine is at the core of the human experience.  Regardless of one’s measure of eternal regret, the Savior offers the sweet hope of complete healing.

Recently, during one of the Follow Him podcasts we watch, Dr. Terry Ball shared an insight I had never before heard or considered.  He said that on the day the Savior triumphantly entered Jerusalem, those casting their clothes and palm fronds on the ground, over which the colt walked carrying the Messiah, shouted Hosanna as they excitedly welcomed the promised Messiah to the throne of David.  Many Messianic prophecies foretold the Mighty One of Israel who would come to deliver Israel.  However, their expectations were for political deliverance from Rome’s ruthless rule, whereas Jehovah came with bigger fish to fry.  He came to conquer Satan and his twins, death and sin, which He did through His atoning sacrifice and resurrection.  The people failed to grasp that distinction.  As He entered Jerusalem on the colt, on His right was a Roman garrison from which they possessed a commanding view of the gate.  On His left was the temple.  The people anticipated that He would turn to the right, demolish Rome’s iron fist and free Israel.  They were somewhat perplexed, and I’m sure disappointed, when He turned toward the temple.  It was just a matter of days before many of these same people were gathered together to cry before Pontius Pilate, “Crucify Him”.  It was their misguided expectation that undid them.  They mistakenly placed their own expectations upon Christ’s mission and when His actions didn’t align with their expectations, they refused to accept Him as the Messiah.  Do we not also fall prey to such sophisticated supposition?  How often do we allow our own desires to shape the expectation of His response?  It’s akin to asking God to align His will to ours rather than surrendering our will to His.  That mistake can plow the ground for the seeds of apostasy.

The other day I wrote about expectations placed upon the Messiah.  Today I pondered how difficult it can be to deal with other people’s expectations.  As mortals our expectations, our desires, and yearnings can often be misguided, spawned by the absence of truth in our perspectives.  Distortion and lack of eternal perspectives can also create unrealistic or unhealthy expectations that often include others as a component of the process.  I’ve been guilty of such misguided notions and also as a player on someone else’s stage.  Neither is particularly pleasant.  

Our walk through life provides ample opportunity for interaction with all sorts of people.  There is a vast spectrum of differences among people created by individual interests, backgrounds, perspectives, beliefs, and values.  As these people encounter others in a variety of situations the worst in us is always ready to manifest itself, creating tension between people that can escalate into more than mere annoyance.  Each of us is a dual being, the core part is who we were before we ever entered mortality.  Despite a lack of information about that premortal state, we know that we lived there for a very long time, developing to the point we were ready for mortal combat.  Though we wage war with adversity at every turn, the greatest challenge we face comes from the other part of dual nature, the mortal part.  Mortal physicality is an absolute necessity to achieve the greatest measure of God’s promise, but it also presents an entirely new set of experiences.  The physical body presents us with appetites, passions, and desires that far exceed anything we have ever experienced.  Fortunately, our Heavenly Father sent each of His children to begin their mortal sojourn with the Light of Christ which acts as a moral barometer of sorts.  When one chooses to ignore its gentle and quiet direction, they surrender power to Satan, the father of lies and enemy to our happiness and their nature migrates from the pure, innocent state into which we came to the carnal, sensual, and devilish person Satan wants us to be.  His enticement to embrace such a change is clever yet devious, often trapping one before they even realize they were near the trap.  Pursuing this baser nature only leads one farther and farther away from their premortal promise.  When one decides the path of sin and darkness doesn’t yield anything close to what was promised, they must evict the natural man from their life.  Such a task may prove to require far more effort than it took to find room for him in the first place.  In fact, I don’t believe the natural man can be evicted with only mortal weapons as persuasion.  It takes heavenly help through the merits, mercy, and grace of Jesus Christ.  Even then, it will neither be an easy nor a quick process.  The manual for evicting the natural man is found in the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19.  For further details about the process delve into the Book of Mormon with consistent and willful intent.  You will find its pages laden with the atoning beauty offered by Christ to all with willing intent.  

One doesn’t have to live on earth long before they become aware that mortality isn’t for the faint of heart.  Without most people realizing it, life is a war, fought between the two great powers in all existence, good and evil.  As in any war, there will be casualties, both from combat and also among the innocent noncombatants.  Wounds are a universal experience, some are severe and some are fatal.  Hence, the need for a Savior and Redeemer to undo the effects of the fall and the subsequent frequency of the battles in this world war.  To imagine the extent of Christ’s power to heal all wounds, wash away all sin, recompense all injustice, and wipe away the tears from all faces is beyond human comprehension.  But once everyone comes to realize that Christ can do all of those things, if allowed, eliminating all the evil effects of the fall of man, it will be of little wonder why every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ.  Would to God that everyone would heed the Savior’s clarion call to come unto Him.

My study of the Gospel has intensified this year.  This morning while in prayer I realized how incredibly blessed we are to have the availability of so many scriptures in addition to living prophets and apostles.  It was one of those illuminating moments when I was granted the opportunity to see things more as they really are than as I am normally inclined to see them.  I pondered where we, as a covenant society, would be without these historical records of God’s dealing with His children.  I am so dependent upon the scriptures to better realize who and what God is, what His purposes are, and how I can become more intimately familiar with Him.  I learn so much about His divine motives and how I must affirmatively work on developing those same motives until they become mine.  I see the accountability of justice when connected to God’s law, and why that is.  I also see how patient and long suffering He is with wayward children as His mercy is extended with open arms to all who are willing to accept and embrace it.  The process of reconciling with God is simple enough that a child can understand and implement it in their own life.  And yet, the process is incredibly comprehensive, so much so that without Christ’s help, completion of the process is beyond even the most accomplished mortals.  This dependency is fostered by humility as an absolute necessity.  There is so much involved in this process of redemption that one, no matter how adept, could ever become bored with the ease of the path.  It’s astonishingly flexible when considering one’s mortal weakness and God’s infinite mercy, but steely rigid when considering the necessity of God’s justice in establishing an environment where personal agency is paramount.  Above all, in and through all things is the lifeblood of God’s love, the purest motive possible which is offered to all of God’s offspring.  Isn’t it amazing so few accept the offer?

This morning while studying I looked out the kitchen window and the sun was shining on the smoke bush that is home to a large garden spider.  His massive web was illuminated perfectly in the morning sun.  How such a web is constructed is beyond my comprehension.  We will soon have to remove the bush that is its home because of a wilting disease that has deformed it.  On two occasions, I have pruned the bush that inadvertently ruined the spider’s web.  On both occasions, within just a few days, the spider had rebuilt that amazing web and was perched patiently in the center of it waiting for DoorDash to arrive.  I’m pained at having to remove his home entirely and have pondered how I could relocate him successfully.  I don’t know what spiders think or feel but its tenacity and determination is far more developed than mine.  What’s even more amazing to me is the pattern of the web’s construction.  The wonder of that web alone testifies to me the tender mercy of God’s creative power.  I cannot, for the life of me, conceive of creation as the product of random chance.  From the magnificence of the cosmos to the invisibility of subatomic particles I can only see order.  The smoke bush upon which the spider makes its home is but one of a countless number of plant species that exist on earth to beautify our temporary home.  If one were to simply confine their observation of their own body, it would be impossible to rationally believe that it was not the product of divine design.

As my life ebbs along to its inevitable conclusion, I become more focused on eternal things.  So many of my previously important mortal interests have significantly diminished or disappeared entirely.  My desire to become more like the Savior escalates to fill the space.  My thoughts center more upon Him and I am ever trying to affirmatively eliminate character traits that are an enemy to my soul and replace them with the divine characteristics necessary to prepare me for my life after this one.  Two paintings that used to hang at the front of the chapel in the Jordan River Temple have helped shape that process.  One portrayed the Savior suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane while the other one portrayed the Savior speaking with a Samaritan woman at the well.  For several years I just viewed them as art but with time, the Spirit began to open my eyes to crucial components of the Savior’s Atonement.  One, His Atonement is both infinite and eternal in nature.  Christ’s atoning influence has no bounds either in space or time.  And yet, it is intimately personal for each of God’s children.  The price He paid to satisfy divine justice is incomprehensible to the finite mind, but the compassionate grace He extends to all whose mortal wounds have inflicted pain and sorrow is tender and sweet because He also took upon us all our infirmities.  He understands what each person has experienced, all one’s fears, pains, anxieties, failures fall under His loving care, to which so many can attest.  The most important relationship we can develop will be with Christ.  Awed by His power of creation and ability to resist all evil, one can reach out to Him for tender comfort, consolation, and healing which knows no bounds.  

I recently read a talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell titled Joseph Smith: A Choice Seer.  The prophet Joseph Smith is a polarizing figure, as was prophesied.  The devil hates him and strives constantly to discredit him.  If he can discredit Joseph, he undermines the truthfulness of everything he taught and restored.  That paints a big target on him at which Joseph’s enemies are constantly aiming.  In this talk, Elder Maxwell shares an interesting comparison regarding Joseph Smith, one from Thomas B. Marsh and the other Lorenzo Snow, later a President of the Church.  The comparison focused on how each viewed Joseph’s imperfections.  Marsh’s view began innocently enough but escalated until he left the Church entirely because he couldn’t reconcile such imperfections residing in a prophet of God.  Snow’s perspective was different.  He saw the same imperfections, they weren’t ignored, but he saw in them something entirely different than what Marsh had seen.  For him, he was encouraged by what he saw, thinking that if such a man as Joseph, imperfections and all, could be of value to the Lord, perhaps there was hope for him.  As it turned out, that hope was fulfilled as he subsequently followed in Joseph’s footsteps.  Parenthetically, it should be noted that Marsh later came back into the Church, acknowledging his faults in the matter and humbly seeking only membership whereas he had been the President of the Quorum of the Twelve prior to his descent.  

During Elders Quorum meeting, the discussion today focused on a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland titled Fear Not: Believe Only!  Though having many facets, perhaps the core of this talk was about the search for happiness, and why so many people, particularly youth, are unhappy.  In my experience there is a wide variety of opinions as to what constitutes happiness.  It is sought in many ways.  In my opinion, therein lies the fatal flaw that leads so many to embrace an expectation for happiness that doesn’t exist.  So when their best efforts are expended to achieve happiness based upon their own perception, a perception that doesn’t exist, it would seem certain that instead of happiness all sorts of negative responses would soon lead one to the conclusion that happiness doesn’t exist.  And if that is true, even in their own mind, the hope of ever being happy would seem not only remote, but seemingly unattainable.  This sapping of hope which ultimately leads to despair can be life threatening if not for effective intervention.   True happiness and joy only comes from one source, God.  Counterfeit happiness is the great lie that comes from the father of lies, he who is eternally miserable and seeks that all be as miserable as he is.  Each of us is free to choose between these two alternatives, to decide which path will lead to the happiness we want.  “Ye have sought all the days of your lives for that which ye could not obtain; and ye have sought for happiness in doing iniquity, which thing is contrary to the nature of that righteousness which is in our great and Eternal Head.” (Helaman 13:38)  Many, probably most, choose the path to happiness that emphasizes those things which are carnal, sensual, and devilish.  This choice, though temporarily enticing and pleasurable, will never produce lasting happiness because it runs counter to the nature of happiness.  “All men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state, are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness.” (Alma 41:11) If a person seeks happiness by pursuing a sinful lifestyle, they are seeking something that does not exist.  Their expectation of happiness will never come to fruition and leave them empty and unsatisfied.  But another aspect of that flaw is that many, probably most, are guided by the belief that happiness is defined by a lack of difficulty, challenge, or failure in one’s life.  I believe this is a flawed perception.  Nephi’s life certainly wasn’t free from difficulty, yet he said, “And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.” (2 Nephi 5:27)  Shortly before confronting the horrors of Gethsemane, the Savior told His apostles, “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”  I believe that happiness is not the absence of tribulation, but the reward for overcoming whatever tribulation we encounter.  If one has a correct perception of the nature of happiness and what is required to achieve a life after the manner of happiness, their choice of path is actually quite clear and their accurate expectations will arm them for their journey.  “I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.  The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”  (John 10:9,10)  The abundant life is filled with sacrifice, service, love, compassion, forgiveness, obedience, humility, meekness, selflessness, all of which contribute to happiness not only here on earth, but in eternity.  If you are expecting to enjoy happiness in any other way, you are guaranteed to not only be disappointed but ultimately miserable.  Learn about the manner of true happiness, what it entails, what it offers, what to expect.  Reach for Christ, be willing to become a disciple by learning what discipleship requires.  Start with the Book of Mormon.  It will lead you to true happiness, pure happiness, the happiness that never ends, the happiness that never disappoints but always satisfies and fulfills.

Early this morning while studying mortal vs eternal perspective I reflected upon yesterday’s entry regarding agency and accountability.  Would a view of future consequences change how a person makes choices?  While it’s extremely rare for a person to be allowed actual and literal foresight, certainly the Lord has provided ample warnings about the choices that can lead to misery and spiritual bondage.  Father Lehi spoke of Satan’s designs to blind the eyes and harden the hearts of those seeking the blessings of Christ’s atonement.  I take that to mean that he disguises those outcomes so one wanders unknowingly into his many traps.  Lehi’s son Jacob warned the saints under his direction about the consequences of sin.  Alma the younger shared his accountability experience and the anguish it caused him.  Prophetic guidance through the ages, beginning with Adam and Eve in Eden, have promised blessings for obedience and warned of the dangers and outcomes of sin.  Choosing to ignore prophetic guidance is indeed a foolish choice, fraught with hidden treachery.  

I have often pondered the power of patterns in our lives.  Patterns are obviously helpful in many ways, such as when sewing or using blueprints to build something.  Blueprints for most of life’s most important things aren’t available in the way we think of blueprints, but the examples of success around us can be as effective as drawings to show outcomes.  The Lord’s prime pattern was His Son, Jesus Christ.  No exemplar can compare but He isn’t the only exemplar the Father has provided for His children.  We associate with many people whose lives reflect a consecration and devotion to God that allows the Savior to make them Holy.  Consistent and intentional use of personal agency over time to comply with righteous desires brings about change, not only in ways for which we are alone responsible but in more eternal ways which only the Lord can provide.  Not only should we be observant of such living patterns of spiritual development but strive to become such a living pattern for those watching us.  I have been blessed by many such individuals throughout my life.  

One of the most cogent arguments opposing the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the strictness of its doctrinal demands.  Elder D. Todd Christoffeson said, “A God who makes no demands is the functional equivalent of a God who does not exist. A world without God, the living God who establishes moral laws to govern and perfect His children, is also a world without ultimate truth or justice. It is a world where moral relativism reigns supreme.”  Restored doctrine declares the reality that God consists of the eternal union of a man and woman who plant the heavens with their spiritual progeny.  As divine, limitless parents full of love for each of their children, they hold not only exalted hope for each child but also exalted expectations based upon the child’s right to make their own choices.  In order for us to have and enjoy the life they have, we must love what they love and become like them.  God’s intent is to provide us with the essential experiences that can provide us with the opportunities we need to become like them and return to them.  Because their existence is exalted, to be like them ours must be as well.  What seems restrictive, foolish, and impossible from the critic’s perch is actually the highest manifestation of love.  All of creation is designed to foster this immense process of divine development.

It’s no secret that the world is in a state of turmoil, with moral relativism rampant.  Societal instability wreaks havoc among all populations.  Fear and anxiety are far too common.  It seems that the work of Satan, discord, division, animosity, anger, hatred, violence, and a horde of other such forms of discontent appears to prevail.  In this caldron of chaotic confusion lies countless victims of broken homes and lives.  Much of injustice remains unindicted.  Breaches of all sorts abound.  All of this was anticipated before the earth was even created.  A magnificent plan was put in place to heal all the breaches, all the broken lives and families, indeed every negative or hurtful act perpetrated by anyone, anywhere, anytime would be repaired and restored.  As Isaiah said, “He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces.”  Heavenly Father’s work is a work of redemption and restoration.  His work, conducted by His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, is the repairing of breaches.  Of all God’s children, who would feel the loss incident to the fall more than Adam and Eve?  They alone had been born into a paradise, void of death, pain, sickness, hunger, and uncertainty.  The loss of these things as a result of their own action must have created a stark realization of their new environment, their new reality, simply because they knew the difference.  All mortals who have followed them did not have that same critical perspective, despite what their parents must surely have told them.  Adam and Eve had a yearning for reconciliation and redemption that was unique among mankind.  Without an understanding of and belief in the need for salvational help to escape the consequences of the fall, one is severed from the yearning necessary for eternal reconciliation and redemption.  Hence, the journey back to the presence of God must begin with believing that mortality is a death sentence and that every soul desperately needs their sentence to be pardoned.  The only pardon available is through Jesus Christ, the universal Savior and Redeemer,  Only He can undo the effects of the fall and rescue one from their death row circumstance.  Otherwise, what would have been the purpose of the creation?

This morning during my pondering time I considered the divine characteristic of kindness.  For most of my life, kindness and I were strangers.  I was far too quick to criticize or even condemn.  My sharp tongue wounded many who were entirely unworthy of such words as those I often uttered, and once spoken, impossible to retrieve.  Kindness is expressed in so many gentle ways and is related to so many other divine characteristics.  Pure love encompasses kindness.  Mercy is motivated by kindness as is forgiveness.  Kindness can be expressed as simply as a smile or much more comprehensively when aiding someone in constant need.  Kindness is deferring to our better nature when the natural man in us would act differently.  It is considering the welfare of someone else above our own.  It is generosity, encouragement, and patience.  It is a word of hope when things seem hopeless.  It is overlooking the faults of another because one recognizes them so profusely in their own life.  Kindness is powerful.  It can begin the process of healing.  It can bind ties between people.  It can coalesce relationships.  It builds instead of tears down.  It’s a glorious characteristic to acquire and develop.  It’s Godlike.  Every day I pray that I will strive to affirmatively be kind to others, all others who cross my path that day.  Still a long way to go however.  But I can find comfort in the fact that I’m at least heading in the right direction even if I can’t yet see the destination.

In my morning study I came across one of the more underrated verses in all of scripture.  Written by Amaleki and stashed in a small and often overlooked chapter, I find Omni 1:26 full of the doctrine of Christ.  “And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him, and continue in fasting and praying, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved.”  I believe that last words are a reflection of what has become most important in a person’s life.  Amaleki’s last words speak to my soul.  The offering has been given and completed in our behalf.  The choice to partake of this incomparable gift is entirely ours.  Once we choose to follow Christ as a committed disciple by willingly committing to emulate Him to the best of our ability over time, salvation is promised and what God promises He assures.  He is the constant in this process of salvation and redemption.  We are the variables.  Amaleki’s invitation bears real power in my mind.  As I too approach my final days, I feel that I have not done enough to persuade others to believe in and come to Christ.  As a result I am inclined to share more of my thoughts and feelings regarding Him in hopes my words may have more success after my death than they did before.  Unfortunately, my many frailties undermined my mortal efforts to bring others to Christ because of what they saw in me rather than looking past me to see Him.  As a disciple I have a solemn commission to let my light point others to Him rather than shield them from Him.  I hope the power of the Holy Ghost will carry what I have learned through a lifetime of feeble discipleship to you, that you can see my foibles for what they were and perhaps have mercy on my mortal process which I hope will be more reflective of Him the next time we meet that it was earlier in our lives.

Early this morning, I was pondering the disparate distance between God and man.  Even the prophets, whose lives are most genuinely aligned with God’s will, are astounded when brought into the presence of God.  In their scriptural accounts, most fall on their faces upon the ground, unable to even look at Him.  That they must experience some form of transfiguration just to be able to exist in His presence would be startling enough.  After such a theophany, it’s not unusual for the prophet to describe having no mortal strength.  For example, Moses’ experience, “And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth. And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.”  It’s much more likely that contemporary individuals perceive God as He appeared during His mortal sojourn on earth as Jesus of Nazarath.  In this form the disparity between God and man was far less noticeable, though certainly noticeable given His many miracles.  However, when considering God in His glory, the distance between fallen man and exalted, glorified God is beyond human ability to comprehend.  If not for Christ and His atoning mediation, man could never become like God.  Because of the incomprehensible distance between God and man, God’s mercy becomes the one and only means of bridging such an enormous gap.  Despite Christ’s infinite mercy in offering Himself as a ransom to redeem all of God’s children, the extent to which that mercy has effect depends upon the desires and choices of each individual.

I don’t believe Lucifer limits his meddling to a binary yes or no.  I think his subtlety is much more nuanced and it doesn’t matter in the least to him which way a person may be redirected away from the straight line of truth or what tactics are used to accomplish his nefarious designs.  Meddling with the pace of one’s progress toward God is one of his most preferred and effective tactics.  Constructing the idea that pace is the same for everyone can have brutal consequences in the lives of some.  For those whose pace seems slow when compared to others, comparative expectation can foster discouragement and ultimately resignation and defeat.  For those whose pace seems faster than others, comparison can lead to criticism and judgment of those whose pace cannot equal theirs.  God works with us at our own pace.  Most usually growth and development in mortality is slow, sometimes almost imperceptible.  These comparative perceptions can lead to either being too hard on ourselves or too hard on others.  While we may not be able to recognize the progress we are making, God always does because His perception is eternal in nature.  From His perspective, it’s the growth that matters most.  Consistent, persistent growth and development toward God in addition to His merciful help will ultimately yield an eternal harvest beyond our fondest imagination.  

I find that many people struggle in life because they have expectations that were formulated upon faulty information or misaligned effort.  I believe another major factor that leads to expectations not being met is a dearth of understanding regarding the purpose of earth life.  If earth’s origins, which also encapsulates man’s origin, are as many believe just the result of an incredible existential happenstance one could not be faulted for expecting what so many do.  But if, as I believe, both earth and the entirety of its occupants were created by a divine creator for His divine purpose, then we shouldn’t be surprised when things don’t go as well as we imagined or hoped they would.  There is a purpose to our lives.  On this mortal journey one will encounter many things; some pleasant and beneficial, some unpleasant and detrimental, and some unpleasant but beneficial to our ongoing development.  When viewed through the prism of eternal reality and purpose, each of our experiences may ultimately be beneficial toward an outcome that will far exceed anything experienced in mortality.  Patience is an essential friend to have on this journey.  The Apostle Paul referred to Jesus as the author and finisher of our faith.   

Hugh Nibley, an honored Church scholar, often talked about certain life questions he referred to as “the terrible questions” one of which was a “why” question.   Early this morning I studied a talk given by Elder Lance B. Wickman, titled But If Not.  In this talk Elder Wickman dealt with the “why” questions.  The “why” questions can often be heart wrenching.  On one occasion I wondered why something had occurred contrary to my hope and expectation.  An answer did come but it came twenty years later.  Regardless of the timing I was incredibly appreciative of receiving an answer because it taught me to more fully trust a loving Heavenly Father.  The “why” questions play an important, perhaps essential, role in consecrating our will to the Lord.  Trusting God without complete or even partial understanding allows our will to be swallowed up in His.  If one can submit their will to God unconditionally, the sweet comfort of divine peace can still the unsettled soul even without understanding.  Trusting God enough to defer understanding will ultimately result in the Savior wiping away all tears from all faces.   They will one day prostrate themselves at the feet of the Savior and wash his feet with a flood of grateful tears.  The price of reaching this point can be terrifying and painful but the Savior has already experienced your anguish and fear and made it His.  He will grant the gift of peace until understanding comes.  Unconditional trust in God will sustain a person through the process of confronting the inevitable “why” questions that mortality inevitably offers.

This morning I read and pondered a talk given by Elder Randall K Bennett titled Your Next Step.  He begins by addressing how many perceive the gap between us and God to be insurmountable.  I think many deal with this disparity by simply eliminating God, thus eliminating the gap.  I don’t believe those in this group are at all concerned about the gap.  Rather, they simply eliminate God from their personal equation because they think it eliminates any guilt their life choices may induce.  Others see the gap as being significant to their future but impossibly distant and insurmountable so they just quit trying to close the gap, thus eliminating themselves from the equation.  Either way, the gap remains.  I believe both of these perceptions are taken from the Devil’s handbook.  He doesn’t care which part of the equation one eliminates, the result is the same.  The Doctrine of Christ dispels both misperceptions.  The Doctrine of Christ acknowledges the impossibility of man bridging the gap between man and God if left to his own capabilities.  Such a gap was anticipated and part of the divine plan for the salvation and exaltation of all mankind. (Ether 12:27)  Jesus Christ, the firstborn child of heavenly parents, was chosen to act as an intermediary between God and man.  This sacred role required a sinless life so that His offering on behalf of all the rest of God’s children would satisfy the full demands of God’s justice.  Perhaps even more enlightening is that not only does Christ balance the scales of justice, but by taking upon Himself all of mankind’s sins, frailties, weakness, pain, suffering, injustice, and categorically every negative aspect of life produced by the fall of Adam, He possesses the compassion and ability to succor any hapless soul from the rigors of mortality.  He has overcome the gap (2 Nephi 2:5-9) for all who will embrace His sacred gift and bind themselves to Him by sacred covenant.  This enables the willing to engage the Savior’s power to overcome all of the Fall’s negative consequences.  He becomes one’s personal Savior and Redeemer, helping them, in a very personal and loving way, to traverse the gap between fallen man and exaltation.  He provides the belief that such help is readily available, that He wants God’s children to partake of His gift by working with Him and relying upon Him to successfully eliminate the gap by arriving back into the presence of God.  

It’s Palm Sunday.  While pondering the Savior’s magnificent gift to all mankind, my thoughts sauntered to a few verses in Hebrews chapter 12.  “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.  Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.”  Much strikes me in these verses but this morning one phrase stood out to me, “looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.”  Our faith must be rooted deeply in the Lord, Savior, and Redeemer Jesus Christ.  Our faith begins there.  Saving faith would not exist without Jesus because there would be no Savior.  Even though the great plan of reclamation and redemption was God the Father’s it was Christ whose atoning sacrifice gave eternal life to the plan of the Father.  My faith is weak.  It vacillates depending upon a variety of variables.  As was identified in the first verse above, running the salvational race from our mortal habitat to God’s throne can be a daunting experience.  Even discounting that the race couldn’t be run without Christ’s sacrifice to satisfy justice, if not for Christ’s shepherding encouragement all along the way, this particular race would be too long for anyone to finish.  So not only does Jesus mark the course and run it first successfully, but He gives everyone a reason to run, runs with anyone willing to allow Him to join them, and when mortal energy is insufficient, He provides divine help, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31) 

The talk I read this morning was by President Benson titled The Book of Mormon: Keystone of Our Religion.  The Book of Mormon is the fulcrum upon which the truth of the restoration is balanced.  If the Book of Mormon is true then Joseph Smith was indeed who and what he said he was.   One cannot lightly dismiss the testimony of those witnesses who saw and handled the plates and whose testimony never faltered regardless of some who became alienated from the Church.  From my perspective, in addition to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost affirming the truth of the Book of Mormon, I believe the greatest evidence of the truth of the Book of Mormon is the book itself.  Joseph Smith translated it in its entirety in a little under 60 working days.  Given the intense scrutiny to which it has undergone for almost 200 years, how can one explain a book of such magnificence being produced in such a short time by an uneducated young man in his 20’s?  Any person who will genuinely search its sacred truths with a heart intent upon responding to its divine invitations will find their own witness of its truthfulness.  In addition, try this experiment offered by Elder Marion G. Romney of the First Presidency, “I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness.”  

President Nelson spoke today about becoming peacemakers.  There is so much contention and vitriol in society.  Criticism of others is rampant and readily on the tips of many tongues.  All of these things originate with the intent of the adversary.  He delights in anger, revenge, contention, disruption, chaos, and anything that will destabilize society and cause misery.  President Nelson’s counsel was to not respond in kind to any measure of contention but rather to respond the way the Lord admonished us to respond.  He vigorously invited us to become immune to hostility and contention, to respond with kindness, forgiveness, and civility.  These are foreign concepts to our current state of civilization.  He asked us to become peacemakers instead of contention mongers.  One has become society’s low standard while the other is the Lord’s expectation for those who desire to become His disciples.  I committed myself to do better in this regard, focusing more on my motive, thoughts, words, and actions.  It will take an affirmative commitment to change my character flaws regarding this issue.  I know that I must and I definitely want to.  I don’t expect to be perfect from this point forward, I know my own weakness far too well to embrace such an expectation, but I do believe that with the Lord’s help I can make steady progress toward this change in my nature.  I have faith in the Lord’s ability to change me if I will but submit my best effort to overcome my weakness.  Our sacrament meeting was wonderful today.  The Spirit was powerfully present.  I didn’t want it to end.   

Every day I become increasingly aware of my own mortality.  The frailty of my mortal body with its attendant and increasing pains and weakness, coupled with my decreasing capacity to do things I’ve always done is an ever present reminder of my inevitable appointment with death.  Death is an essential step in the process of redemption and salvation.  It isn’t to be feared unless one has postponed choosing to believe in and accept God by repenting and striving to become more like Him.  For those faithfully on the covenant path, death will produce tears of absence but also reinstate eternal relationships with loved ones who preceded us beyond the veil.  Our capacity to be actively engaged in God’s work in the spirit world will increase as it rolls forth to a glorious triumph.  Death itself is a laying aside of the mortal body we so anxiously awaited while watching and waiting for Adam and Eve to open the gates of mortality.  Our fallen, mortal condition provided physical bodies subject to weakness, illness, and ultimately death.  But they also provided myriad experiences and feelings we had never previously known.  It was glorious in many ways but challenging in others.  The Lord’s glorious resurrection provides a glorious reunion with our own mortal bodies at some point in the future but without any of mortality’s limits.  As anxiously as we once waited for a mortal body, we will likewise wait for our own glorious, resurrected body with all of its marvelous eternal potential.  This process of change and exchange is only possible through the Atonement and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  That alone would bring all of God’s children to their knees in humble gratitude.  

This morning I felt directed to a talk by Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge titled Stand Forever.  I had read this talk a couple of times previously but this morning it spoke to me.  Considering this talk from the prophetic perspective of latter day deception, I couldn’t help but correlate the vast numbers of people, many being loved ones, choosing to leave the Church because they believed they had been deceived.  Ferreting out the truth from this global morass of deception has become difficult, if not possible, for far too many members of the Church.  To underestimate or ignore deception as simply being a social construct rather than a reality is dangerous.  All deception comes from the master deceptor, Satan.  I can affirm that Satan is real. I know for myself.  He deceives in various and multiple ways that seem ever so authentic to those whose experience with truth is immature or weak from lack of exercise.  

Elder Bednar’s talk given in the last conference was titled, “Abide in Me and I in You; Therefore Walk with Me.”  I’ve read it three times so far.  It certainly had an effect on me, particularly listening to it when at the end Elder Bedar’s voice changed and I could tell how deeply he felt about Christ’s gift of atoning grace.  I am familiar with people who think this great gift can heal everyone else but not themselves.  Such restraints on His Atonement don’t exist.  Its sacred impact is both infinite and eternal.  However, the part of his talk that struck me most was the doctrine taught by Alma wherein he likened the word to a seed which we can plant in our hearts.  If the seed is a true seed, and if we make a place for it to grow and care for it, it will sprout and grow into a tree which will, in due time, produce fruit.  This fruit, Alma says, will be most precious and sweet above all that is sweet and white above all that is white.  Elder Bednar said the seed we plant is the word; the life, mission, and doctrine of Jesus Christ.  He indicated the fruit represents the blessings of Christ’s Atonement.  All of this led to him asking if Jesus resided in the fleshy tables of our hearts or was still outside of us.  We are certainly aware of Christ but have we neglected to open our hearts and invite Him to actually abide with us?   His invitation for us to abide with Him is ever present but it won’t happen until we open our hearts to Him and allow Him to be the most important thing in our lives, our choices, and our priorities.  Binding ourselves to Christ through covenant is an invitation to walk with Him, experience life with Him, to know that with Him as a companion we have no need to fear anything.  It’s a powerful doctrine.  The power comes from Christ.  But it’s only powerful if we allow it to occur within us.  It needs to become us.  

I sometimes wonder if we, and I include myself, really understand and appreciate the magnificent gift of moral agency.  The right to choose is sacrosanct in God’s great plan.  Lucifer’s attempt to usurp God’s power and claim His throne was an attack on individual moral agency.  God gave this extended version of agency to mankind while Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden.  It has always been present, hence the tussle in the pre mortal life but it holds a preeminent role in the essential mortal experience.  One’s right to choose for themselves is the fulcrum upon which all action is balanced.  And as with a fulcrum, eternal agency is ultimately the choice between only two outcomes.  On one hand one may choose to believe and obey God’s will.  On the other hand, one may choose not to believe and obey God’s will.  Ultimately those are the only two choices.  Obviously we encounter a wide variety of choices that impact our lives daily that we would never connect with ultimate outcomes.  But each choice impacts us and will either lead us closer to or farther away from God, regardless of how innocent the choice may seem at the time.  Moral agency allows God to hold each person accountable for their choices and where those choices will ultimately lead.  Because each person is born with the Light of Christ, they have a basic understanding of the difference between right and wrong.  The choice then belongs entirely to us.  We have been given the sacred power to determine the course of our own life.  That power first surfaces within the confines of our own thoughts.  Our thoughts lead to action and action produces a consequence.  We have been given the power to determine what thoughts we embrace and which to discard.  Each thought is a player making an entry onto the stage of your mind.  You can either enjoy and embrace the thought or remove them from the stage.  Over time you will find that these little dramas, played out in your mind countless times, will ultimately determine what you become.  That is indeed power, your power, given to you by God.  You can either believe and embrace God’s gift or you can choose to disbelieve in God and yield your choices to one who would much prefer you worship him instead.  The subtleness of evil outcomes, originating with Lucifer, will come back to haunt you.  Despite being advertised as the opposite, any evil choice and its corresponding outcome will invariably result in misery and suffering.  But if you choose to believe God and accept what He offers, the inevitable outcome will be joy, peace, and unlimited possibility.

This morning I listened to a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland at BYU titled, A Saint Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  For some reason, this talk spoke to my soul in ways it never had before.  He spoke of the purpose of our mortal lives and some of the implications of that, even enjoyable ones.  He spoke of how difficult confronting some of mortality’s more disdainful experiences can be.  Yet through it all, He testified of God’s glorious goodness.  Those two things are often found by many to be incongruent, and from a purely mortal perspective, I couldn’t argue.  But God’s perspective is never constrained by mortal lenses.  His perspective is far more expansive, restrained by neither time nor space.  His view is eternal and far beyond our comprehension which requires us to exercise faith and trust in Him and His Holy purposes.  Elder Holland  mentioned how some withhold forgiveness, for a variety of reasons, none of which will expunge our personal responsibility to forgive, regardless of the pain of offense.  

It’s interesting how different my thought processes are now as opposed to any previous point in my life.  I am much more reflective now.  My thoughts tend to gravitate to all that I’ve left undone, how much time I’ve wasted over the years, to what I want to yet accomplish, the attendant fear that I won’t have time to do it, and particularly what is most meaningful in life.  It’s easy to look around here in St. George and see many older people whose elderly lives seem lost, just killing time until life ends.  There are many whose lives are focused on the pleasures their time and income will now allow.  They are busy and engaged, but the self centeredness of this particular path seems hollow to me.  The people I admire most and to whom I find myself most closely aligned are those whose hearts and hands are committed fully to furthering the Lord’s work, to building Zion in preparation for the Lord’s coming in glory.  We live in a prophesied time when all things will be gathered together at an ever increasing pace.  I admire those I see in the temple each time we go.  I admire those willing to forego the temporal pleasures retirement can afford in order to be engaged in the eternal work of redemption under Christ’s magnificent direction.  I have had some questions come to mind as I sort through this vast variety of motivational purposes that most certainly must be asked by many during this stage of life.  

Today was the funeral so Jo was up early making final preparations.  I helped her where I could but my assistance was limited this morning.  I did attend the funeral and it was nice.  Funerals are always interesting to me.  I’ve attended many over the years.  They range widely in purpose and presentation.  I believe it is one of the few times when the Gospel of God can be taught to a group that isn’t usually available or interested in such things.  I believe that the Holy Ghost can testify of truth on such occasions if indeed the truth about Jesus Christ, His atoning sacrifice, and the merciful plan of salvation are the central topics addressed from the pulpit.  I marvel that so many funerals either minimize these great eternal verities or ignore them entirely.  If my survivors ignore my instructions to minimize my life and focus on addressing the gift of Jesus Christ I can assure you it will be the first topic addressed in a future reunion with them.   

I was thinking this morning about the power of perspective.  Looking at something from a different point of view can often render a significantly different outcome, often revealing truth and obscuring falsehood.  Far too many conversations are derailed because of a difference in perspective rather than a difference in reality.  In Lehi’s dream of the tree of life, Satan’s intent to blind the eyes and harden the hearts of those searching for the tree of life is compellingly informative.  The adversary desires that mortal perspective be restricted as much as possible so that his preferred focus is displayed more predominantly without competition that could potentially clear the mud from his muddy waters.  Conversely, the Lord invites all to expand their perspective by believing in Him and what becoming His disciple can offer.  Indeed, Jesus is not just a magnificent teacher and motivator.  He is much more than that.  Unlike any other mortal, He is the literal Son of God, with power to overcome physical death and unlock the prison of spiritual death for all who so desire by accepting His terms of release.  But even more, He is the Mighty Jehovah, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Moses and others were allowed glimpses of the grandeur of an unfathomable universe which He created under His Father’s direction.  Despite His majesty, He walked upon the earth in the guise of humanity, experiencing mortality along with the rest of us.  But unlike us, when death called, he willingly submitted to it though death had no claim on Him.  And also unlike us, He, sired by immortal God, had power to overcome death and open the door for all other mortals to triumph over death as a merciful gift, given freely to all.  After escaping the tomb that proclaimed His death, He ascended to His Father before returning to manifest Himself to thousands as the living reality of His resurrection.  Can one believe in Him and ignore the limitless possibilities He offers to all mankind?  The limits of our perspective are self-inflicted.  He offers the perspective of eternity, of the divine potential each mortal possesses.  His willingness to stand between us and God’s justice, frees all repentant mortals from the bitterness of their own sins, having taken them upon Himself and suffering sufficiently to satisfy the demands of God’s justice, something that must have pained His Father as much as His sacrifice pained Him.  Each of us has two options, and two options only.  We can either choose Christ and accept all that he promises us, opening the way to unimaginable possibilities, or we can reject Christ, thus throwing in our hat with Lucifer, the evil one, whose only intent is for us to suffer to the extent he does.  The perspective of truth compared to its opposite is incredibly stark.  It’s as different as day and night.  So why is it so difficult for some to distinguish the difference?  It’s because their perspective is so restricted by their choices in life that they can’t see the difference.  They have become so spiritually myopic that they are blinded to the truth, to reality.  Remember Lehi’s dream.  That is reality.  “Eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about.” (Joy Jones)

Our time upon this earth was foreordained to be a culmination of so many things.  It would include the restoration of the Gospel of God, the growth of the Lord’s Kingdom on earth, and especially the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ in glory.  His coming would usher in a thousand years of peace and righteousness which would silence the adversary for a time.  The earth would be returned to its paradisiacal glory.  Zion would return and join the New Jerusalem.  However, before these marvelous events will occur, the Saints of God upon the earth in mortality will be required to fight for truth against a numerically overwhelming foe.  Indeed the adversary has swelled his ranks and become brazenly bold in his efforts to thwart the work of God.  Were it not for prophetic utterance that assures the Saints of a victorious outcome, one’s faith might wither in the heat and pressure of the enemy.  I don’t know how long I will live and consequently how much of this evil oppression I will live to experience so may I share with you some things that will act as your shield and sword.  The Book of Mormon gives us guidance for living in a world governed by a populace who have sworn allegiance to the enemy of all good and whose mission is to see that all others are as miserable as he is.  The faith of previous Saints was always centered and rooted in Jesus Christ.  I encourage you to become acquainted with him personally, not just know about Him, but get to know Him.  He will sustain you in every affliction.  Regardless of what the adversary would have you believe, the manifestation of his power is only an illusion.  Real power rests solely with the God of Heaven and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ.  Anchor yourselves to Christ, look to him always, trust Him.  Remember His mighty hand which liberated the children of Israel from Egyptian overlords.  Remember all of the times He protected and delivered His covenant people.  You need not fear the enemy, regardless of their appearance.  The power the adversary wields isn’t power at all.  His is a power of intimidation through the lives of mortals on the earth who have yielded themselves to his nefarious ways.  All of that darkness will be dispersed by the rays of eternal glory emanating from the coming Lord.  Stay close to Him.  The victory is His.  It always has been and always will be.  Yoke yourself to Him and never let go, no matter what.

Impatience is one of the more subtle sins.  Contrarily, patience, or longsuffering as it is often referred to in the scriptures, is a significant component of the divine nature of the Gods.  How could God deal with the extensive and repulsive aberrant behavior of His children if not for inexhaustible patience.  Our mortal experience, particularly with loved ones, provides an ideal environment to develop patience and overcome impatience.  I don’t think impatience is something often identified as sinful and just as infrequently targeted as a weakness that needs attention and change.  Nature itself tutors us about patience.  We never harvest on the same day we plant.  We must allow the process of growth to play out before the joy of the harvest can be experienced.  Waiting for something either needed or wanted is commonplace.  It is a characteristic with which I have wrestled for a significant portion of my life.  This morning I came upon some of Elder Maxwell’s thoughts on patience which heightened my intent to work with more urgency in diminishing my impatience, especially with others.  It’s interesting to me that one can so easily recognize some character flaw in others but ignore it in themselves.  Hence, thorough and persistent self assessment is necessary for celestial growth and progress, regardless of the pain self incrimination may produce.  In another vein of perspective, waiting upon the Lord can be excruciating at times, but then again, experiencing our impatience and the consequences such impatience can produce, must have been excruciating for the Savior as he bore such things in our behalf.  

It’s easy to feel like our lives are in our control, but things arise that remind us, sometimes painfully, that having control of one’s circumstances is merely an illusion.  There is One who is in control of all things, but it isn’t any of us.  So much of existential influence is provided by power beyond our ability to have or control.  We are deeply dependent upon things entirely beyond our control.  I suppose that’s why we strive so hard to gain control in our lives, and ironically in the lives of others, particularly the ones we love.  It’s as if we are grasping for a toehold in foreign territory.  Also ironically, the One who wields the only power over all things is the One who tenaciously guards the right of all to make their own choices, thus muddying the water considerably.  The very breath that sustains life is granted one breath at a time and that lasts minutes at most.  Everything upon the earth that sustains life was designed and created by the One great Creator who is omnipotent.  Rather than flailing around helplessly trying to keep the oars aligned in the lifeboat, one’s time would be much more beneficially employed striving to adhere to the kind counsel of Him who created not only the materials that allowed construction of the boat, but the water in which the boat is cast.  Far too often one’s focus is on the creation rather than the Creator.  And while admiring the creation can flood one with humble awe, it will still be only the Creator who is worthy of such awe.  Unlike the mortal environment in which we now live, all things associated with God and His environment are infused with certainty.  The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob never changes.  He is certain.  He can be relied upon without equivocation.  His promises are sure and His love is not only immeasurable but eternally expressive.  In a world of uncertainty, one can with assurance tie their boat to the one true mooring that will overcome any tidal fury or vicious storm.  He is the true certainty for which we should strive and abandon any vain efforts to save ourselves in storms that rage far beyond our meager mortal efforts to still.  Christ is the master of certainty to which the knaves of discord, contention, uncertainty, and chaos must bow.  

As vicious political polarization continues to escalate into becoming hell itself, I am pained deeply.  I have forfeited my membership in the Republican Party and fail to see anything better in the Democratic Party.  I consider those in both parties who are located on the extreme edge, a line which grows fatter every day, to be traitors to all for which this country stands.  I love this country.  I believe firmly in its divine origin and purpose.  I revel in the miraculous occurrences that helped produce independence from an overbearing despot.  I marvel at the capacity to compromise among men of various and selfishly ingrained positions that ultimately laid aside their own needs in order to unselfishly forge a bond that granted freedom and opportunity to others.  There were many who were  instrumental in both the fight for freedom and its constitutionalism.  But one figure stands above the others in my mind and heart; George Washington.  He was a giant of a man in many ways but I would particularly like to focus this morning on his views regarding political parties.  Currently, these two major political parties have adopted the same stance as warring countries, full of hatred for the other and totally incapable of seeing anything good in the opposition but rather perceiving them as evil incarnate so that compromise is perceived as defeat.  In Washington’s farewell address given on September 19 1976 as he stepped away permanently from public service, he said this; “I have already intimated to you the danger of Parties in the State, with particular reference to the founding of them on Geographical discriminations. Let me now take a more comprehensive view, & warn you in the most solemn manner against the baneful effects of the Spirit of Party, generally. This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human Mind. It exists under different shapes in all Governments, more or less stifled, controuled, or repressed; but in those of the popular form it is seen in its greatest rankness and is truly their worst enemy. The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge natural to party dissention, which in different ages & countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders & miseries, which result, gradually incline the minds of men to seek security & repose in the absolute power of an Individual: and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of Public Liberty.”

Salvation and redemption are two doctrines which are often misunderstood.  Because these two  doctrines are critically important, especially from an eternal perspective, I want to touch upon them just a bit.  In the equation of salvation, we are the variable and Christ is the constant.  This infers that the value of the outcome is determined by how much the value of the variable is changed by the influence of the constant.  The variable can become more valuable or less, depending upon choices made.  The ultimate value of the outcome will be optimized by the variable’s willingness to be positively changed by the effect of the constant.  In this equation, the variable has a role only it can play, as does the constant.  Mischief creeps in when the variable tries to play the role of the constant, a role that only the constant can play.  The value of the outcome will be maximized when both the variable and the constant play the role intended and the variable avails itself completely of the enabling influence of the constant.  My thoughts on this topic run deeper than my words here.  Better understanding what my role actually is has helped me more effectively rely upon the merits of Him who is mighty to save (change).  I now understand in greater measure that only He can change my nature, only He can heal me from my mortal experience, only He can cleanse me from the stain of my sins as well as pay the price for them.  The covenants I make and keep with Him will allow the sweet combination of my willing desire to repent and follow Him (something only I can do) and His incomparable atoning sacrifice (something only He can do) to produce the sweetest of fruit.  Parenthetically, I understand this better than I did algebra.  

My Book of Mormon study this morning included Ether chapter 15 and Moroni chapter 9.  Both chapters are depressingly burdensome to me.  To think of such potential, both mortally and eternally, wasted because they rejected God’s merciful grace saddens me every time I read it.  Realizing that prophecy foretells that such fatal scenes will again play on earth’s grand stage, but on an even grander scale, seems both foolish and a useless waste of divine potential.  I cannot fathom how wrenching this must be for even, and especially, the exalted heart of God.  And though salvation, in some measure, will at some point salve the scorched souls of the disobedient, there will be much anguished regret and painful payment for sins not abandoned much earlier in the process.  All of the pain, suffering, brutality, depravity, and devastation was needless had humble hearts been turned to Christ instead of toward him who plotted and persuaded men to reach such a miserable outcome.  Sad indeed.  Willful rebellion led to mortal annihilation.  The brutality of that process is heart-rending.  I think it’s important to examine more carefully how that destructive path began.  Such an enormous and final outcome began with the seeds of willful dissent rather than willful consent to keep God’s commandments.  As the Lord said, “out of small things proceedeth that which is great”.  While in this instance He was referring to being faithful to Him and recognizing that the small efforts to serve God would someday produce outcomes of a much grander nature.  However, this process also works contrariwise.  The adversary urges susceptible individuals to take small, even baby, steps away from God and toward him.  At the time, these miniature steps seemed harmless simply because they appear to be of no seeming significance.  But they are.  They determine the direction one leans and leaning leads to moving in that direction.  In this case, away from God.  Really, it’s the little things, consistently applied that shape the direction of each and every life.  One must pay apt attention to the daily things that draw them either toward God or away from Him.  If away, and unchecked, the ultimate outcome will resemble the outcomes expressed in Ether 15, if not societally, then certainly personally.

In my opinion, one of the most unsung and under the radar aspects of Christ’s atonement is the gift of developmental space and time.  This concept was first introduced at the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.  Having partaken of the fruit of the tree of good and evil, their lives were changed in ways they couldn’t possibly have imagined.  A tragic misunderstanding of these events acts as a catastrophic doctrinal deterrent to God’s true plan of salvation.  The choice made by Adam and Eve was an absolute necessity for the channels of mortal life to be opened for the rest of God’s children.  The acquisition of a mortal body was an essential component of God’s plan to exalt His children.  But in so doing, Adam and Eve introduced death into this grand equation, both physical and spiritual.  As a great gift to them, and by extension to us, God barricaded the tree of life, thus providing time between their transgression and the execution of the judgment pronounced upon them.  Just as death would later be an equally essential part of this divine process, the gift of developmental time in between birth and death was of the utmost importance.  I believe this time between birth and death, at least for most of us, is time for us to choose between good and evil, to determine what we want most, and to develop the nature to which we are inclined.  This probationary time also allows us the space to act for ourselves, experience the consequences of OUR choices and learn from them.  While often painful, it is certainly provocatively productive.  These personal lessons, freed from the immediate imposition of the ultimate consequences, allows us an experience that we will one day reflect upon, even with all of its perceived blemishes, and praise God for His majestic mercy.  Retrospection will illuminate this marvelous plan far more eloquently than can I.

I find Moroni chapter 10 to be incredibly hopeful as I contemplate my own inability to completely evict the natural man in me.  Verse 32 caught my attention this morning.  In conjunction with Moroni’s invitation to come unto Christ and be perfected in Him, he invites all to deny themselves of all ungodliness.  In my mind, that word “deny” implies an act of agency, of personal choice.  While we can’t perfect ourselves, we can choose to deny ourselves of unrighteous or ungodly things.  We can choose to love God with all of our mind, might, and strength.  While it’s unlikely that we do this completely, or entirely, or even as consistently as we would like, we can choose each day to repent by striving to improve.  This is all within our ability to accomplish.  For those who chose to follow this path to Christ, His promise is rich with hope and power.  If we do as Moroni counsels, then will Christ’s grace be sufficient to perfect, or complete, our process of change.  Then and only then will we be able to become like Him.  Perhaps it’s wise to consider that denying the grosser sins, (the “shall not” sins) comes first in the process.  Sometimes these can be particularly challenging but with persistent desire and effort, combined with the grace of Christ, even the desire to commit such sin will wane and ultimately expire.  This movement from telestial to terrestrial law will continue to challenge a person as the sins become more sophisticated though still tied to carnal cares.  To complete the process and have hope of celestial glory, an even greater challenge will present itself.  This challenge is the process of consecration, of letting go entirely of self, of one’s heart and will.  Consecration is a frequent scriptural topic but isn’t always identified as such.  Making and keeping covenants with God enables one to experience the divine refinement that comes by and through Him who yearns for us to become His disciples.  It is the combination of Christ’s power to atone, something we cannot do, and our willingness to to do that which is within the best of our ability to repent and improve that produces the sweet savor of salvation in its fullness.  

Without question, patience is a cardinal characteristic of God.  And by implication it is also a characteristic of all those seeking the divine nature of God’s presence and society.  Many strive to develop divine patience, but unfortunately, they want it now, they simply can’t wait.  Patience is manifest universally, from the planting of a seed to the awe of the cosmos and everything in between.  Waiting for something to develop can be excruciating at times.  Hence, impatience is far more prevalent than patience.  The hurtful word spoken in anger takes precedence over kind restraint.  Rushing to judgment before time can expose the truth can very often result in a later distasteful meal of crow.  Patience is necessary for growth and allows for understandable mistakes along the way, in ourselves as well as others.  Developing patience requires the passage of time but also more than mere waiting.  Patience is a triumph over our lesser inclinations.  It is the willing acceptance of unpalatable circumstances being only temporary, like a child waiting in line for an ice cream cone or as Christmas approaches.  Patience is the watering between seedtime and harvest.  It is the restraint of baser urges that will ultimately produce a far more bounteous harvest.  It is submissive evidence of one’s recognition that God’s clock doesn’t tick at the same pace as ours.  Patience is the seedbed for so many other glorious attributes of God.  How uncertain and perilous our lives would be if God was impatient.

Recently, while serving with the missionaries, we encountered a woman who expressed interest in hearing our message while at the same time resisted what the missionaries taught to the point of rejecting the message of redemption they attempted to share with her.  Her assertion was that any church will lead one to heaven.  This is an opinion that often arises in such discussions but I’m amazed at how often people actually believe that.  A wide variety of churches exist with an equal variety of doctrines and expectations.  If any path leads to heaven, regardless of what contingent requirements may apply, how would heaven be any different than life on earth?  How could such a belief allow for heavenly peace given the wide disparity of opinions, values, and behavior?  It has never made sense to me.  I don’t hold out much hope for this woman to embrace the true gospel of Jesus Christ.  Certainly, Christ taught with great clarity the importance of obeying the commandments that He gave to mankind.  If all paths lead to heaven, why was Christ so adamant about following His requirements?  The things of God (religion) have always been things based upon faith.  The stringency of Heaven’s conditions has been an ongoing scriptural topic that began in Eden and continues to this day and will continue until the work of the Father has been completed on this planet.  

My morning study almost always includes pondering.  Some days my pondering opens channels of thought that stir my soul and bring tears to my eyes.  It’s as if communication from heaven is particularly available, far more so than usually.  One of the thoughts that came to me was the power of the Satanic doctrine of comparison.  I caught myself comparing myself to someone else but immediately caught it and stopped it.  But I realized how powerfully damaging this simple thing can be.  I see it everywhere in the lives of others and myself.  Regardless of how we compare ourselves to others, either way it will be damaging.  Depending upon how I see myself in comparison to someone else I will either feel that I’m less in some way, ultimately denigrating my true, divine value, or that I’m better in some way that will puff me up and cause me to falsely look down on others, thus denigrating their true, divine value in my eyes.  Either way, the outcome distorts each person’s true and innate value.  This is clearly the desire of the adversary.  These little steps can escalate into something much more malignant and destructive.  Comparison creates division.  Comparison erodes self esteem, which is actually inherent and does not depend on accomplishment or circumstance.  Comparison always stirs discontent and not in a productive way.  Comparison is competitive in nature and is the sibling of pride.  Christ offers each person the opportunity to believe in Him and come to Him and follow Him, regardless of circumstance, or perceived capacity.  He offers His limitless capacity to overcome everything of an evil nature to all who will engage Him.  It would seem that striving for such an exalted outcome would keep one busy and focused enough on their own challenges to avoid comparing themselves to others.  When looking at others, it would be best to always, always do so through the divine lens of love and a willingness to render the pure help love is ready to provide.  Comparisons will then fade away, freeing one from the wasted time and energy that can be spent on something that will never bring happiness.  

I didn’t attend any meetings but did go to be with the Bishop during his interviews.  It wasn’t a heavy day, for which I was glad.  I got home and fixed lunch.  The Bishop asked me if we participated in the sacrament, which we hadn’t.  He said we could do so at home, due to our circumstances.  I administered the sacrament but didn’t do it with enough preparation and proper honor that precede the ordinance.  I recognized my error and determined I would never allow that to occur again.  While speaking the words of the sacramental prayer, one thing really struck me, “that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son”.  I began to ponder on what taking upon us the name of Christ actually means.  I’m sure I don’t know, but here are some of my thoughts.  The word “willing” is a striking reminder that everything we offer to God must be the result of our own choice.  It cannot be coerced or manipulated.  It’s a gift from us, acknowledging His magnificent gift to us.  This willingness to offer ourselves to God is pure worship, the most impactful worship.  This meek submissiveness to the will of God is the only real thing we can give God.  A willingness to bind ourselves to Christ through an eternal covenant has implications far beyond our ability to understand.  The willing acceptance of this divine covenant opens the door to a new relationship with Christ, one that He referred to as taking upon ourselves His yoke.  My perception of yoke may be different than those whose lives weren’t lived when yokes weren’t commonplace, like mine.  A yoke allows strong animals to move heavy objects by combining their individual strength.  It can also combine the strength of multiple animals to accomplish more than one or few could.  Certainly, in our fallen condition, estranged from God, returning to Him by becoming like Him seems like an impossible objective.  And for a person, by themselves, it is impossible to accomplish.  But if yoked to Christ, who bore the entire weight alone in our behalf, the combination of His omnipotence and our willingness to lend our meager measure can, without question, accomplish the impossible.  Taking upon myself His Holy Name inspires me to take full advantage of His incomparable gift.  It also declares to all with whom I interact that I am striving to become like Christ regardless of my sometimes blatant inability to do so.  Still I continue to strive toward that glorious outcome.  I continue to repent and attempt to do better today than I did yesterday.  I want to be known as a disciple of Christ.  I want to relinquish the hold I have on Babylon and seek citizenship in the Kingdom of God.  I want to be better.  I want others to know I love Him and I want to honor and worship Him by the way I live.  I’m incredibly inadequate at accomplishing such an exalted aspiration, but I want to keep pressing in that direction.  My yearnings and strivings have accomplished one thing for certain.  I have come to better know Him.  I am in awe of His character and devotion to all who seek Him with genuine intent.  I will continue to strive toward Him and remember His gracious goodness daily.

Captivity is often mentioned throughout the scriptures as a result of one’s failure to keep God’s commandments.  It is manifest in a variety of ways, but one particular form of captivity is one’s own circumstances.  Circumstances can be self imposed or imposed by influences beyond one’s control.  But either way, being bound by one’s circumstances can be equally challenging.  This morning I focus on the circumstances that are self-inflicted.  Really, unpleasant circumstances that we bring upon ourselves are nothing more than the consequences of our own choices.  Choices don’t have to be sinful to produce circumstances that bind us and prevent us from a full range of future options.  Sinful choices can sometimes alienate a person from even wanting God’s help and blessings.  Choices that aren’t perceived as significant can often turn out to be harmful, even devastating.  Reflecting upon the choices in my life, both minor and major, have had an impact in my life, both for good and ill.  I also have come to realize that making life choices is much like playing golf.  If one’s shot stays in the fairway, their next shot will likely be more successful than if the first shot had landed in the rough.  Playing from the rough or any other obstacles on the course creates situations that tend to compound trouble.  One bad shot makes the next shot even more difficult, to the point that getting trapped in the rough can ruin an entire round.  One bad choice can easily lead to another as one tries to compensate for the consequences of the previous choice.  I can’t state strongly enough the need to watch one’s choices carefully.  The impact of choices can also ripple generationally, which will compound anguish and limit future opportunities.  

My gospel study this morning began in Moroni 7, migrated to Moroni 10, and then concluded in D&C 84:45-48.  I’d like to share some thoughts.  Moroni spoke of motives for why people behave in certain ways.  In my experience, purifying motives is much more challenging than merely changing behavior.  Changing behavior is hard enough, especially without the Lord’s help, but aligning my motives to the purity required by celestial law is still way in the distance for me.  I think it’s important to recognize that all things originate from only one of two sources; God or the devil.  Distinguishing between the two can often be perplexing to some because of Satan’s ability to distort reality.  Moroni brings to bear an understanding that will allow anyone to correctly determine the origin of anything they may encounter or experience.  As a gift of Christ’s atonement, the Spirit (or Light) of Christ is given to every person born into mortality.  This Spirit creates within every mortal the inclination to determine right from wrong, often perceived as one’s conscience.  No mortal is left without divine direction as they navigate morality’s minefields placed by the adversary.  The extent to which one leans one way or the other, by the power of their own agency, will determine the direction of the path they will follow, either toward God or away from Him.  There is no other choice.  Moroni teaches about the divine nature as he interweaves the eternal characteristics of faith, hope, and charity.  Significant pondering on those three divine qualities is highly recommended.  Moroni’s final thoughts are found in Moroni chapter 10.  His circumstance alone creates a validity to his words that should resonate with anyone.  Again he touches upon discerning truth from error and makes a solemn promise to those whose heart is genuinely seeking truth with the pure intent of acting upon the truth they seek.  This promise has some restrictions that keep the merely curious at arm’s length from their witness of truth.  I suspect this is just one more mercy God extends his children so as not to send truth from heaven to one whose heart is not yet ready to receive it.  Parenthetically, I consider the harvest of the heart to be akin to any harvest.  There must be much soil softening to effectively embrace the seed and allow it to sprout.  Seeds spread on hard soil never have the environment needed to sprout, grow, and produce a bountiful harvest.  Moroni’s final words are the yearning appeal to all to come unto Christ and be perfected in Him.  It is imperative that one comes to the realization that they cannot save themselves from mortality’s death sentence.  Salvation comes from only one source, Jesus Christ, whose immaculate life enabled Him to return to God’s presence of His own accord.  His sacrifice paid the price justice demands for all mankind and those who come to Him will not only be pardoned, but through His merciful grace be enabled to become like Him, full of faith, hope, and charity.  These celestial qualities are the characteristics of the new creature one may become when they have left the natural man behind.  D&C 84:45-48 sheds additional light on the process of salvation and redemption, highlighting the role of the Spirit/Light of Christ, in making choices.  The choice to follow the light will lead one to the true and living God, with whom they can make eternal covenants that will lead the faithful follower, who presses forward full of hope and charity, into the presence of God.  Could Moroni have chosen a more important topic to save for his last words?

I read a talk this morning by Elder Neal A. Maxwell titled Premortality: A Glorious Reality.  I highly recommend it to you.  Elder Maxwell perused some doctrines that came forth during the restoration of the Gospel as produced by Joseph Smith.  These sweet doctrines answer, or at least enlarge our understanding of, the existential questions that have plagued mankind for millennia.  They expand the boundaries of existence and embrace the purpose for it all, giving meaning to a life on earth that is barren without them.  The expansion of such perspective broaches the purposes of God and our relationship to both Him and His purposes.  His nature, as well as ours, shines as eternal light to illuminate mortal minds.  The vast implications that come from the restoration’s doctrines are truly light shining in the darkness of ignorance or deception, perpetrated by the king of corruption and contention.  If all the world could be so informed and believing regarding these sacred restored doctrines, the world would be reformed into a more divine image.  It would create a world nearer to heaven than the world we currently inhabit.  I am strongly of the belief that such a glorious world awaits those whose lives will survive into the millennial reign of Jesus Christ subsequent to His glorious return to earth, as well as all the dead who are given power to come forth in the morning of the first resurrection.

One of my greatest weaknesses is my inability to bridle my tongue.  Many times I have been stung by the power of hurtful words.  But that pain pales in comparison to the pain I feel from the hurtful words that have left my mouth to hurt others.  Being the target of hurtful words is inescapable in our fallen world.  Hopefully they weren’t heard first in the home from loving parents, but I know that isn’t likely.  A safer bet would be experiencing the sting of such barbs first from a sibling.  And the intensity of the barb and the wound it caused surely escalated severely once a child entered the caustic arena of school.  There, verbal brutality was prevalent, which often led the offended to retaliate with similar weapons.  Unfortunately, this verbal warfare continued into adulthood, often expressed between spouses inspired by vile intent.  I have found physical wounds to be far more responsive to healing than the pain of hurtful words.  I have worked hard to rid myself of this character weakness and while I have made noticeable progress, the task remains unfinished.  How can one ever recall such hurtful things once spoken?  How grateful I am for a Savior who can obliterate the effects of such brutish behavior, something that is impossible for me to accomplish, no matter how many “sorrys” escape my lips.    

My scripture transfer is far enough along that I’m almost finished with the Old Testament.  One thing I’ve noticed as a result of engaging so much of the standard works in such a relatively short time is the continuity of the gospel dispensations.  Through these dispensations, from the very first one, presided over by Adam, prophetic visions reached forward in time to reveal our dispensation, the dispensation of the fullness of times.  All previous dispensations have looked forward to ours because of its concluding consequences.  I don’t think we really appreciate how gloriously important our dispensation actually is.  It consists of the grand winding up scenes of the fallen experience on this earth.  Prior to the Savior’s coming again in Glory, great wickedness will be rampant and continue to flood the earth, preparatory to the earth being cleansed by fire.  This portion of the divine process often creates fear in the minds and hearts of the Saints.  But as dark as our circumstances may become, the outcome is emblazoned by divine light personified in Christ Himself.  The outcome is certain, regardless of the process that leads to it.  If the Saints treasure their covenants and hold fast to the prophetic guidance of God’s holy prophets until the Savior comes to reign personally on the earth, they will witness and experience some of the most potent, powerful, and miraculous events that God has ever bestowed upon His people.  The events of Israel’s deliverance from the bondage of Egypt will pale in comparison to Him delivering His Saints from the grasp of Hell’s clutches in our time.  For we as His covenant people will be in awe that our God will fight our battles and sustain us in all our uncertainty.  He will never desert us, for He cannot.  It is not His nature to do so.  He will be the strength and power upon which the Saints will rely when darkness seems so inevitable.  The accounts of the miracles and His mighty hand stretched forth to protect His people will be regaled over and over until every mortal heart has been humbled and attuned to God’s amazing mercy and they will all come to claim blessings extended to them in the premortal life, until every last mortal will have accepted Jesus as their personal Savior and Redeemer, accept God’s covenant offering, and worship Him with hearts swollen by gratitude for that which He makes possible.  What time period upon earth could be more magnificent than this one?

I marvel at how many lives are difficult as a result of the consequences of their own choices.  Sometimes it’s the result of the choices of others that impact the innocent which then are carried into adulthood and negatively impact those initially innocent lives.  Many are unhappy because their lives are so unmanageable.  Two thoughts often come to mind.  First is a statement made by Nephi shortly after severing ties with his rebellious older brothers as an existential necessity.  He said, “We lived after the manner of happiness”.  That short phrase has always intrigued me.  Is there a sure pattern to follow in order to maximize the possibilities for happiness?  Nephi thought so and I concur, based upon my seventy-four years of personal experience.  Joy and happiness are characteristics of God and all who are striving to become like Him.  Certainly the path to such an outcome must certainly be aligned with God’s expectations.  The adversary, in opposition to God, goes to extensive lengths to portray sin as the sure path to happiness.  However, Alma made clear that “wickedness never was happiness”.  I might add that it never will be either.  I have found through personal experience and by extensive observation that pursuing happiness via sin only reduces one’s options.  Their lives become far more demanding with greater obligations and fewer resources.  The adversary applies continual pressure, much as a python would, until one cannot even breathe.  Often one embraces the path of sin unaware of the danger and is too far down that path before the danger becomes apparent.  God’s commandments lead one to ultimate happiness, even a fullness of happiness.  Such obedience leads to further liberty and greater opportunities with significantly more resources and assistance.  That is exactly what they are designed and intended to do.  Of that I’m sure.

During our gospel study we crossed paths with 2 Nephi 25:23.  This particular verse has been difficult for many to understand.  In my opinion, interpreting the word “after” in a chronological sense is the culprit but there are other issues I believe also interfere with effective understanding.  One is how the Jews came to believe that salvation came through obedience to the Law of Moses.  I believe they actually transferred their worship from the Lawgiver to the law itself.  In doing so, one had to earn salvation by virtue of their own obedience to the Law of Moses.  Nephpi’s perspective on this matter would possibly have been influenced by Jewish customary thought.  I think it’s important to note that in verses 24 and 25, Nephi acknowledges the role of the Law of Moses in preparing a people to receive their Messiah, Jesus Christ.  And though Nephi’s people kept the Law of Moses, they understood clearly that salvation did not come by or through the Law of Moses.  They understood its true purpose and worshipped Jesus Christ, knowing full well that He, and He alone, was the source of salvation.  Only in and through Christ can the legal obligation of sin, the breaking of God’s law, be removed.  While the Jews felt the Law of Moses was their salvation, it was actually just the opposite, it was their enemy because once broken, the law could not alleviate the consequence of a broken law.  The consequence was endless alienation from God’s presence to satisfy God’s justice.  Had the Jewish perspective been correct, there would have been no need for a Savior or Redeemer.   Keeping one commandment could not pay for the breaking of another.  Such pardon, such a ransom, could not be paid by any mortal entity.  It simply was not within their power to do so.  It could only be accomplished by an infinite and eternal sacrifice, a sacrifice that was offered by one who was sinless.  Only Christ, who was both mortal and eternal, and spotlessly pure before God, had the capacity to subject Himself to both death and sin vicariously for the rest of God’s children.  In doing so, He overcame all sin and death for all those who had been taken captive.  The only hope of escape from a downward death spiral which would ultimately lead to an existence identical to Satan’s was Jesus Christ, who triumphed over physical death by the power of the resurrection, and also spiritual death by virtue of repentance made possible by His immaculate atoning sacrifice, a sacrifice only He could make, which actually could satisfy the demands of divine justice.  In addition, it should be noted that one aspect of verse 23 that has been challenging for some to understand is the result of considering the relationship between grace and works chronologically because Nephi used the word “after”.  In this instance it is critical to understand that God’s grace is ever present in the process of redemption.  It doesn’t have to wait until one has expended their all in a futile effort to become like God.  In the matter of combining one’s personal effort to become more Christlike with God’s grace extended to all who so strive, meagerly I might add, God’s grace is available the second one desires to turn to God in faith.  This desire will grow into repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and striving (enduring) through the process until their mortal life has concluded.  Without God’s grace, such a journey would inevitably result in failure.  That Christ makes it all possible is a sacred gift that demands our best effort to avail ourselves of His merciful help but we are never left helpless in such a divine desire.

I felt some spiritual promptings during Ward Council meeting this morning which I chose to share.  Apparently I did so appropriately because it obviously reached the hearts of several in attendance.  This mortal experience isn’t easy.  I suppose that existing in an environment cohabitated by legions of premortal spirit devils who are hell bent on destroying anything good would naturally be difficult.  But I’m assured of the divine purposes of God regarding His children and the mortal portion of their eternal tutelage.  This is our away-from-home experience, where we are introduced to an intimate knowledge of good and evil and suffer, to some extent, the consequences of our God given power to make our own choices.  Satan strives to create as much chaos as possible while God’s invitation is designed to create more order, union and peace.  The confluence of these two opposite forces, which are manifest in very different ways, is a great separator.  Amidst the darkness of devilish brutality shines the light of hope and goodness of God and all that it promises.  God’s interactions with His children through the millennia are a repetitive narrative of mortal and willful rebelliousness.  And yet, His merciful arms are stretched out still to any of His children willing to turn to Him and accept the conditions of the covenant He offered them premortally and then again in mortality.  His merciful patience with His children is incomprehensible to my meager mind.  But laced throughout this mercy is the constant invitation, even command, to turn to Him in repentance NOW.  It was then and is now the same.  The time to turn to Him is now.  The longer a person postpones repentance, the greater the power they yield to their adversary, making repentance more difficult.  The sooner one chooses to repent, the more the adversary’s power is diminished over them.  The danger in ignoring God’s sacred invitation to come unto Him is that procrastination may ultimately lead to an unpleasant end, while drawing closer to God by adherence to His commandments will always ultimately produce eternal happiness, joy, and fulfillment.

The other day I heard one of the Gospel podcasters refer to Gods and Goddesses.  I hear that phraseology often among members of the Church, even from the pulpit.  I find it interesting that Goddess is found nowhere in the scriptures.  Priest and Priestess are but not Gods and Goddesses.  In my opinion, there is no gender difference in the title of God.  When one speaks of God, it’s a reference to an exalted Man and an exalted Woman, united eternally as husband and wife, who preside over a Kingdom of their own eternal posterity.  D&C 132: “Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world. Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory. For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity; and from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God forever and ever. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, and make a covenant with her for time and for all eternity, if that a covenant is not by me or by my word, which is my law, and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is not valid neither of force when they are out of the world, because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by my word; when they are out of the world it cannot be received there, because the angels and the gods are appointed there, by whom they cannot pass; they cannot, therefore, inherit my glory; for my house is a house of order, saith the Lord God. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever. Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them.”

One of my favorite hymns is How Firm a Foundation.  A phrase in that hymn struck me particularly today.  “As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.”  As I pondered those 10 words I understood how true they are.  Regardless of the challenges one faces at any time during their life, and I believe each stage of life presents its own particular difficulties, the divine succor which is needed most will not only be always available but sufficient for the particular need.  However, it will not always be what or when we expect it.  But it will always be exactly what we need to move nearer to Him.  It isn’t in God’s nature to send His children abroad, as it were, without providing the help and assurance one may need in unfamiliar territory.  I honestly think that understanding our relationship to God the Father and His eager willingness to be close to His children while they are away from home, is one of the most targeted by Satan for distortion or elimination.  If he can sever a person’s connection and belief in God, he can ultimately lead them wherever he wants to because they will have no anchor in their life.

What can I, or anyone, actually give to God?  King Benjamin addressed this question, as have other prophets and Saints.  As for me, the only meaningful thing I can really offer God is much more complex than my time, my talents, or my means.  I think the thing he wants most from me is my heart, my will.  He doesn’t want a part of it, he wants all of it, completely and unconditionally.  If I can’t give him that unconditionally, regardless of what such a price may require, I will never be fit for His Kingdom.  Joseph Smith said, “God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God”.  When I consider how weak I was when my heart strings were recently tweaked slightly I’m left to wonder how far I am from being completely consecrated to God.  This realization creates a real fear.  John said that “Perfect love casteth out all fear”.  That concept has always puzzled me for lack of understanding.  I wonder if a person, who is able to trust God completely and unconditionally, reaches the point where all fear succumbs to God’s all powerful love and care.  If a person becomes acquainted with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and is unequivocally convinced that their own eternal welfare is always God’s greatest concern, what could possibly be frightening?  Of course, that is most certainly easier to understand than to do.  I think of the apostles in the boat during a fearsome storm while the Lord slept peacefully.  Their fearful situation prompted them to wake Him and ask this universal question, “Carest Thou not that we perish?”.  Is not that a question we have all asked in some form?  Like them, we too encounter perilous circumstances and situations, sometimes life threatening.  Like them we feel powerless to save ourselves or those we love.  It is easy to surrender to our fears but how often was the Lord’s response to those with similar fearful feelings a simple, yet powerful, “Fear not” or “Be of good cheer?”  If we seek to build a covenant relationship with God and strive to draw nearer to Him consistently, we are entitled to His merciful care and His is the power to deliver from any threat.  Trust in Him.  Who could possibly care more about our welfare?  If I rest safely in His care, what could I fear?

This morning while studying the Gospel I noticed something in the Book of Mormon, Jacob 4:3 that I don’t remember noticing previously.  Jacob was mentioning the importance of engraving their words on sheets of metal, otherwise their words would ultimately crumble and disappear, something they found unacceptable.  The importance of preserving their words for the benefit of subsequent generations was summed up in this simple statement, “that they may learn with joy and not with sorrow”.  How apt is his declaration?  Far, far too often we learn painfully from our poor choices, when hearkening to the wisdom of those who preceded us and who were willing to share with us the sound wisdom of the ages which would allow us to learn with joy rather than painful regret.  

When wondering why God could possibly allow injustice of any sort, it’s imperative that one realize that God’s plan isn’t limited by mortality.  Everything He does has eternal implications.  One essential element of the mortal experience is the true doctrine of personal agency.  God gave personal agency to all of His children as an essential element of developing them to become like Him and inherit all He has.  Because mankind has personal agency, they are allowed to act as they will, regardless of the outcome or how the consequences of their actions impact others.  If judging this plan from only a mortal perspective, it might be justified to deny the existence of God or wonder about His motives.  But with agency came the superlative gift of God’s only begotten Son who volunteered to atone for all actions that personal agency caused.  His atoning sacrifice remedied physical death by offering an immortal resurrection to all of God’s children born into mortality.  In ways the human mind cannot fathom, the Savior’s atoning sacrifice gave Him the power to intercede in behalf of all mankind and undo all the harm that personal agency caused.  There are no limits to this all encompassing mercy to heal and right every injustice to the satisfaction of all involved.  When viewed through this lens, the plan of the Father, accomplished by the willing sacrifice of His Beloved Son, allows man to choose his own path and own destination in the eternal world.  With God there is no ultimate injustice, only justice and the consequences associated with breaking God’s law.

Mosiah 4:1-3  “And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had made an end of speaking the words which had been delivered unto him by the angel of the Lord, that he cast his eyes round about on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon them.  And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.  And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come, according to the words which king Benjamin had spoken unto them.”  King Benjamin must have been the Elder Holland of his time.  His words, like Elder Holland’s, stir my soul every time I hear them spoken or written.  The words of King Benjamin contained in the three verses above speak of the one thing that must happen to each of us if we hold any hope of escaping mortality unscathed.  This transformation described above begins with the realization that each of us is trapped with no way to escape.  Were it not for Christ and His atoning sacrifice, we are all locked into seats on a runaway train headed for a precarious plunge into oblivion.  The recognition of our dire circumstances motivates us to seek a way out of our perilous situation.   Every soul will at some point come to realize there is only one way to safety.  There is only one source of salvation, Jesus Christ.  For those mentioned above and all others likewise enlightened, what measure of gratitude could ever come close to compensating Christ for what He has given all of us?  Indeed, there is only one thing meaningful to the Savior.  When one comes to realize that their own free will is the only thing that they can meaningfully offer God, whether in pure gratitude or aslly.  It is the only thing any of us have that is uniquely ours.  Everything else we have is already His.  When we use our free will to choose to love and follow Christ, He will find joy in being able to redeem us, a pure joy.  Isaiah 53:10,11  “Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.  He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied.”  Gratitude will flow willingly from our hearts in consequence of His great gift to us.

My Sunday worship is only a part of my personal worship of God the Eternal Father and His Beloved Son Jesus Christ.  I reaffirm my covenant relationship with God formally each Sunday as I partake of the sacrament, its symbolism reminding me of the sacrifice Christ and His Father made to provide redemption and reconciliation to all of God’s children.  But my worship doesn’t begin and end there.  I realize that how I interact with others, how I treat others with whom I come in contact throughout the week is a more accurate measure of my true worship.  Am I kind and patient with others even when I don’t understand them?  Do I speak, or even think, ill of others when not in their presence?  Do I look for ways to lift and strengthen others, even if I don’t believe they deserve it?  Am I patient and forgiving of those whose actions don’t live up to my expectations?  Do I look for ways to be a blessing to others rather than their challenge?  There is still much change that needs to occur in my spiritual development.  In my meager mind, becoming more Christlike is different than becoming like Christ but since it is a process, one cannot be like Christ until they have committed themselves to affirmatively become more Christllike.  This process can be difficult enough that often people become discouraged as the adversary tries to convince them that such an aspiration is impossible.  And without the grace of Christ, it would be impossible.  One of the most amazing aspects of this process is that Christ is so willing to help those who want to become like Him, to do so.  It is only through the merits, mercy, and grace of Christ that this process will ever yield the hoped for results.  But it is our desire and our willing effort to become like Him that engages His grace.  When we combine what we can offer and merge it with what only Christ can offer, miraculous change can become real for us.

As I pondered feelings and thoughts yesterday in this journal, I feel constrained to address the very nature of God.  Over the years I have encountered many people who perceive God differently than I do.  He is perceived by others, who labor without the benefit of the Restoration’s insight, as anything but what He really is.  An inaccurate perception of God can lead to frustration, skepticism, and ultimately to unbelief.  Many consider God their enemy, waiting for them to mess up and quick to dispense justice.  God’s justice is impartial because it’s bound to and by law, a fact all who are victims of injustice find heartening.  God is not capricious with His justice.  It’s bound to and guided by His eternal laws.  His justice assures fixed, eternal, and unchangeable outcomes for violation of His laws.  That is pure impartiality.  But neither is mercy meted capriciously.  It is offered to all but applied only to those whose genuine desire to seek Him is matched by their legitimate efforts to repent.  His mercy is as universally available to anyone seeking its sweet respite but only if his conditions are met.  These two eternal characteristics of God work hand in hand.  His justice is invariably set so that each person will be accountable for their own choices.  Choice would be of no effect if one could not rely on a fixed outcome that would result from every choice they make.  Justice ensures a fixed outcome and that its consequential outcome will be the same every single time.  But mercy is equally invariable.  Having paid an infinite and eternal price for all of mankind, Christ is eager for God’s children to take full advantage of His atoning and redemptive sacrifice.  He wants to lighten our load by taking it upon himself.  He is not a punitive God but even when punishment is the consequence of disobedience, its intent is redemptive rather than punitive.  His nature is as the most loving father of which anyone could possibly conceive.  Everything He does, doesn’t do, or does it differently than what we would wish, is for our eternal benefit.  We are His children with divine potential.  His perspective is significantly different from ours because we see things myopically while His perspective knows no bounds.  Our happiness will grow as we surrender our will to His rather than expect Him to surrender His will to ours.  It’s so simple in concept but so difficult at times to accomplish.  Fallen man finds his pride a barrier to surrendering their own will to God.  It requires humility and ultimately a complete surrender which includes all outcomes in which we have invited Him to be part.  But while difficult, it is definitely not impossible but only with Christ’s help.  It is within the reach of every human, one step at a time if those steps point to Christ.  I have found my God to be unbelievably patient with me, incredibly merciful, and gently corrective.  I feel His love and know from long experience that His aims for me are eternal and His love for me far exceeds mine for Him.  For the intentionally wicked, their experience with God will be different. Their experience with God will be shaped by their unwillingness to humbly comply with His commandments, leaving them exposed to the harshness of God’s justice rather than embraced and protected by His gentle mercy.  This less pleasant experience with God can cause one to feel as if God doesn’t love them but actually finds joy in their misery.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  God said to Ezekiel, “As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?”  The sooner one comes to believe that God’s infinite love for us is manifest in both His justice and His mercy because of the divine expectations He has for each of us, the sooner their perspective of God’s nature will change in a very positive way.  I have found this to be invariably true.  

I watched a talk given by President Nelson, when he was just a newly ordained member of the Quorum of the Twelve, in which he addressed the reality of life after this life.  He focused on the many witnesses we have of the living Christ.  If the number of witnesses to His resurrection, numbering in the thousands, were to testify in open court, it would be virtually impossible to ignore and most surely certify the verdict.  Then why do billions of people completely disregard this vast array of eye witnesses?  The Lord always uses mortal witnesses to validate His interaction with mortals.  I suppose the role of eye witnesses in God’s process is more to ensure a righteous judgment than to expect non believers to suddenly believe.  A genuine study of the Holy Scriptures is replete with accounts of witnesses testifying to miraculous things and eternal truths.  

Christmas has a different feel for me than when I was a child.  I can still remember my anxiety overcoming my need for sleep while waiting for Santa’s arrival.  Now my thoughts are more focused on the Savior Jesus Christ.  When I was set apart to serve as an assistant Stake Clerk by President Jimmy Butler in West Jordan in 1993, part of that setting apart blessing included the promise that my understanding of the Savior’s atonement would continue to grow and expand.  I can remember thinking what more could I possibly know that I didn’t then know.  How foolish I was.  Not only has my knowledge of His atoning sacrifice grown but so has my appreciation and love for that incomparable act.  For some time now I have felt that many members of the Church, faithful members who attend and serve, fail to understand the Savior’s atonement.  I think far too often people misunderstand what He can do and what He can’t do as a result.  I’ve seen it far too often in my service with other people.  So many feel that they must save themselves before the Savior’s atoning power will forgive them.  They bear the burden of their sins and inadequacies entirely, thinking that they must reach some distant point before they can even access His mercy and grace.  There are others who believe He can heal and make holy everyone else, but not them, as if somehow there are limits to His infinite and eternal power to redeem.  The only limits that exist are the ones people put upon Him by simply not allowing Him to save and redeem them.  As I was pondering these things in the dark this morning my mind flew to a story I was taught in Primary by a well meaning teacher who simply didn’t understand the Savior’s atonement.  I believe you may well find this account elsewhere in my journal and I debated about sharing it again if indeed it is elsewhere but I finally decided to share it again.  Its message is so powerful and so desperately needed as the days and years ahead become darker, bleaker for the righteous, and faith will be tried to the greatest extent.  The teacher told the story of another teacher, probably fictional, who gave to each of her young students a beautiful piece of mahogany wood that had been polished to a magnificent sheen.  She told them to keep this beautiful piece of wood with them and every time they sinned, they were to drive a large nail into the wood.  In her attempt to teach about repentance, she also instructed them that every time they repented of one of those sins, they could pull out the nail.  She explained that she had one student approach her years later with that piece of wood which she had given him.  It was no longer beautiful or pristine.  The wood was full of nail holes which marred its previously beautiful appearance.  The student, now much older, beamed as they showed his piece of wood with no nails left.  The teacher replied correctionally, yes, the nails are gone but look at the wood, look at how it is no longer beautiful but terribly marred.  The young man’s face changed expression, never having considered such an outcome.  How could he possibly repair the mahogany?  It seemed impossible.  I can remember being taught this.  I didn’t know any better then, but I do NOW.  That story is one of the most appalling mischaracterizations of what the Atonement of Christ is and does that I have ever heard.  What’s the point of repenting if the impact of the nails/sins leave us scarred and broken?  That isn’t what He said about what He can do.  He spoke the truth to the survivors in the new world after a flurry of catastrophic geological events that left only a few alive.  After the shock and trauma of these events, His voice from Heaven was heard, “Will you not now return unto me and repent of your sins and be converted, that I may heal you?”  To the rest of us He has made it abundantly clear, “For I am able to make you holy and your sins are forgiven you.”  His atoning sacrifice is  not simply about pardoning sin but transforming the sinner so that what he once was is no longer what he is.  If the above story had been told correctly, the boy would have returned with his repentant board as if it had never known a nail.  It would be again pristine and pure because it was no longer the scarred piece of wood.  It was an entirely new piece of wood, made pure and holy by the power of the living Lord.  He is the hope of all mankind.  He was the good news proclaimed by angels to shepherds.  He is everything to everyone who will accept Him and willingly follow Him.  Those who procrastinate embracing His atoning gift will suffer until they are ready to return unto him, repent of their sins, and be converted so He can make them whole, without spot, everyone.  There are no boundaries to what He can do for us if we simply allow Him to.  It’s what He wants to do, to suffer for us so that He can rightfully redeem us, make each of us a new creature in Him so that our past is forgotten.  Nobody else can do that.  Only Him.  I know it’s true because I am evidence of just such a change if only in minute measure so far. 

May I express my everlasting gratitude for my Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ.  My belief in and commitment to them has grown over the years.  It hasn’t been a smooth journey, rather it has been fraught with difficulties and challenges.  There has been much failure and disappointment, even anguish at times.  But despite the afflictions to which I am familiar, and through it all I have grown closer to and more appreciative of God and His Holy Son.  I have felt their presence from the beginning of my life and now, late in life, I feel it more intensely than ever.  

We live in a drastically different time than when I was a child and adolescent.  The massive number of vociferous voices in our contemporary society, fostered by the ease of both expressing and accessing variant opinions is a cacophony of confusion that calls for one’s attention.  Every single day I am confronted with bounteous bits of information that vie for my attention.  I feel that I am reasonably well anchored by my belief in and adherence to the doctrines of God as expressed by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  But I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for our youth whose lives seemed tied daily to digital discord.  But as it has been for me, seeking to attune my ear to the voice of God through the quiet, gentle whispers of the Holy Ghost, so it can be for them.  If taught correctly, even at an early age, a child can become familiar with the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost and be led safely through the menacing menagerie of vagrant voices calling them to destruction.  Even, maybe particularly, adults are subject to the same primal allurements fomented by adversarial agents to draw them away from safety into the bonds of captivity if they aren’t actively opposing such persuasion.  The Lord said, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock.  If any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to Him and will sup with him, and he with me.” It is the voice of the Lord that needs to be the voice we can hear most clearly and heed most completely.  It is the only safe way through the morass of meandering paths that lead nowhere.  

Early this morning I listened to two talks by Elder Holland; Behold the Lamb of God, and The Message, the Meaning, and the Multitude.  Both of these talks addressed Jesus Christ as being the central core of our worship, particularly on Sunday.  I know that as a people we have become far too casual in our Sunday worship.  We have allowed our cultural traditions to override the reverent worship that Christ’s sacrificial atonement demands.  I have felt this way for over a decade.  It’s my belief that if people would prepare spiritually to attend sacrament meeting and come seeking Christ, that the Holy Ghost would settle down upon us and convey to us the love of God for each of us personally.  I believe the heavens would more readily open to us and allow us to not only bask in that love but receive personal revelation for our lives.  I think the Lord wants to do this.  I think it’s what this sacred hour was intended to be.  But we live far beneath our possibilities.  I have attended meetings where the Spirit was present in abundance.  There is a different feeling when that happens.  I once attended a Stake Conference where the meeting was so spiritually powerful that after amen was said nobody moved.  Nobody spoke.  We all just sat in reverent gratitude for what we had experienced.  That lasted for several minutes before anyone made a move to leave.  I believe that there is much more available to us if we would humble ourselves and come to worship the Living God and His Beloved Son, praising Him with our hearts and voices.

As I was studying 2 Nephi 4 this morning, I couldn’t help but feel the urgency and concern Lehi was experiencing as his imminent death seemingly weighed heavily upon him, particularly regarding his children and grandchildren who had yet to embrace Christ’s wonderful and incomprehensible atonement.  As he gathered his posterity prior to his death he said some very interesting things as he blessed each family in turn.  Perhaps and particularly these verses jumped out at me because I recognized his feelings.  Confronting an inexorable countdown until his voice would be stilled, at least on this side of the veil, and with significant work remaining to bring his family to Christ must have created a painful conundrum for him.  In many ways I feel the same.  Like him I have a portion of my posterity who have chosen not to accept the sacred nature of Christ’s atoning gift.  Soon my voice will be stilled on this side of the veil.  As a meager measure of hope that my voice will survive me, I find myself focusing more on things of eternal import in my journals than merely accounting for the remnant of my frail life.  While I respect the choices each of you make, I am certain beyond question, that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is exactly what it claims to be, that it is the vehicle on earth for the power of God’s redemption that is His work and glory.  I can only hope that at some point, in some way, all of you will find yourselves aligned by covenant with God Himself.  You will find joy in the covenant connection with Him that supersedes any other measure of joy.  A fullness of joy that knows no bounds is found in only one place, in one way, and through and of only one person, Jesus Christ.

Our society is unraveling at an increased pace, much to my dismay.  Several traditional and long held values that bind society together are being attacked and many fatally maimed.  It saddens me to see so much of good being uprooted and discarded as if everything touched by the plague needed to be burned.  One thing that particularly concerns me is the changing role of self esteem.  Self esteem is valued and paraded before a vast audience but in my opinion it is vastly misunderstood.  From the world’s point of view self esteem, or value, is determined by how others view a person.  It’s as if one’s value is determined entirely by external perception.  That puts everyone in a precarious position of dependency and fluctuation beyond reason.  From the Lord’s point of view self esteem is inherent and not dependent upon anything else.  As a child of God every person is valued divinely, meaning an individual’s value never varies.  It is constant and eternal.  I believe it is the adversary’s intent and purpose to eradicate God’s divine definition of self esteem and replace it with his own because it will allow him to more effectively spread his own misery to the masses.  When one comes to know and believe in their true relationship to God, all of the darkness of deceit is obliterated by the light of love and truth.  One need not ever vacillate in how they feel about themselves.  That simply isn’t something dependent upon the perceptions of others.  Your self esteem is actually independent of anything else.  You are God’s child and He loves you.  Nothing will ever alter that eternal truth.  For example, in the October 2018 session of General Conference, Elder Robert C. Gay said, “Joseph Smith said, ‘While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard, for His love [is] unfathomable.’  A few years ago my older sister passed away. She had a challenging life. She struggled with the gospel and was never really active. Her husband abandoned their marriage and left her with four young children to raise. On the evening of her passing, in a room with her children present, I gave her a blessing to peacefully return home. At that moment I realized I had too often defined my sister’s life in terms of her trials and inactivity. As I placed my hands on her head that evening, I received a severe rebuke from the Spirit. I was made acutely aware of her goodness and allowed to see her as God saw her—not as someone who struggled with the gospel and life but as someone who had to deal with difficult issues I did not have. I saw her as a magnificent mother who, despite great obstacles, had raised four beautiful, amazing children. I saw her as the friend to our mother who took time to watch over and be a companion to her after our father passed away.”

It isn’t unusual for me to encounter people who, having gotten themselves into unfavorable situations as a result of their own choices, plead desperately for God to remove the consequences of their choices, preferably immediately.  These situations can range from a slight irritant to perilous and complex situations that could even be life threatening.  I can’t imagine anyone who has not, or will not, at one time or another yearn for miserable circumstances to be mitigated if not eliminated entirely.  But as miserable as these circumstances may be, or regardless of how long they last, the mortal experience is an essential component of God’s plan to mature his children to ultimately reach their divine potential.  If every personal plea for immediate deliverance from some measure of circumstantial misery was granted immediately, their will would replace God’s will.  The purpose of  mortality is largely and intentionally developmental.  Even Paul was required to continually contend with his own thorn in his flesh after pleading repeatedly for deliverance.  Rather than answering every prayer seeking immediate deliverance from one’s own miserable circumstances, Christ said that in mortality we would encounter affliction but that we should also be of good cheer, for He had overcome the world.  There is deep meaning in that brief statement.  We have not, or never will, encounter any measure of affliction that He has not experienced on our behalf.  Having borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, He knows perfectly how to succor us in our suffering experience.  That He makes His compassionate mercy available to us as He sustains us in our afflictions is ample evidence of His divine love for us.  He is the salve that resolves all mortal maladies, but for us these mortal experiences are measured not only to our need but also to our capacity for the divine purpose of our growth and development aimed at a Celestial destination.  

 As I studied in the Book of Mormon this morning, I was struck, as I always am, by the doctrine of the Fall.  It seems like the doctrine of the Fall is often overlooked.  It’s as if we move directly to the Savior’s atonement.  But actually, without an effective understanding of the Fall, Christ’s atonement is lessened significantly and that should never happen.  The atonement is God’s way of canceling the effects of the fall.  Unless a person is profoundly aware of the consequences of the Fall as it applies to them personally, the motivation to take advantage of God’s great atoning gift is lessened.  Elder Ezra Taft Benson said, “Just as a man does not really desire food until he is hungry, so he does not desire the salvation of Christ until he knows why he needs Christ.  No one adequately and properly knows why he needs Christ until he understands and accepts the doctrine of the Fall and its effect upon all mankind.  And no other book in the world explains this vital doctrine nearly as well as the Book of Mormon.”  I implore you to begin a diligent study of the Book of Mormon if you have not, and intensify it if you have.  I add my personal witness to the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.  It is the foundation of my gospel understanding and is the one book, among the standard works, from which I drink daily, in addition to the scriptures designated for study in any given year.  There is a special Spirit about the Book of Mormon that can change your life for the better if you will let it.  When one contemplates the extent to which ancient prophets went to make this book available to and for us is worthy of our deep adoration and gratitude.  Remember, “the man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

I became aware of a talk given by Elder Holland to CES teachers.  It is titled, Angels and Astonishment.  Though specifically for Church educators, He extended its implications to all teachers in the Church.  I can’t think of anyone who more often speaks about spiritually powerful teaching in the Church than Elder Holland.  I hang on every word.  He said, “A student is not a container to be filled.  A student is a fire to be lit.”  I loved that.  How I wish I would be allowed back into a church classroom.  I miss that special experience.  Far far too long gospel teaching has focused on the former rather than the latter.  Still in most of the classes I attend it’s all about dispensing information as fast as they can, even at the expense of an inquisitive question.  We aren’t dispensing information in the Church classrooms.  We are inspiring people to believe more in God the Father and in His Beloved Son.  We are inspiring greater belief and trust in Christ’s atoning sacrifice.  That is the central doctrine that needs far more than a passing acknowledgement of its existence.  We need to light a fire in the minds and hearts of those we teach so that they can experience the Holy Ghost testifying to them of truth, eternal truth.  Once a fire is lit, if attended always, it will remain a burning fire of love of and devotion to God.  (Jedediah 20:7-9)

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.  (2 Corinthians 1:3,4)  It wasn’t unusual while working with individuals struggling with addictive substances and behaviors to want God to remove their compulsion from them.  Actually, such a yearning isn’t limited to the individuals I’ve mentioned.  Most, if not all, of us have at one time or another wished that our most trying challenges simply be rescinded, allowing us to go merrily on our way.  Certainly Christ exhibited on multiple occasions sufficient power to heal all sorts of physical or mental maladies instantly.  I don’t believe that a lack of power by the Son of God is the reason that such mortal pleas for deliverance aren’t granted immediately.  My suspicion is that, at least in most situations, the process of deliverance is intended to be a process of growth and achievement where the afflicted one is allowed to yoke themselves to the Savior and together they work through the affliction, whatever it may be.  I believe that our best efforts are required as our portion of the process.  The comfort mentioned above often comes in a variety of ways.  Even encouragement to press on is of great comfort.  God’s comfort can certainly inspire a rejuvenation of one’s desire to do their part while desiring God to do His part, which is offered and extended as directed by divine wisdom and purpose.  Perhaps the greatest benefit from God’s comfort is that it assures one they aren’t enduring their affliction alone.  Christ, our comforter, trod the path of our afflictions alone so that when we reprised the process we wouldn’t have to be alone.  

Poor decisions in life can compound rapidly and before one even realizes, their life is way out of control and beyond their ability to rectify.  When a loved one constantly makes poor choices in their life it’s tough to watch, to see them struggle needlessly.  What makes it worse is when they won’t take advice from those who have more experience in life.  If one isn’t willing to embrace the wisdom that preceded them, they are bound to replay these poor decisions, sometimes for years or even decades.  Even an ounce of humility, recognizing one’s circumstances are largely self-inflicted rather than the consequence of other, external factors can be the key to changing the trajectory of their life.  But a rebellious resistance to any help, other than wanting to be bailed out of their own mess without any effort or consequence on their part, will only add to their misery and perpetuate their struggles.

As I pondered my speaking assignment for Easter Sunday, the erosion of the value of life I have witnessed in my life caught my attention.  I thought of Isaiah’ prophecy that good would be considered evil and evil considered good.  This 180 degree shift is amazing to me.  Just in my lifetime, how so-called advanced societies have abandoned or distorted the value of life.  I find it appalling that those involved in assisted suicide have more legal protection than unborn babies.  That the most serious sins that can be committed, short of denying the Holy Ghost, are intertwined with life, either unjustly taking it or unworthily creating it.  In both instances the choice made by one has an incredible impact on the life of the one affected.  I don’t believe that correlation is coincidental.  The motive for involvement in either is always selfish and self centered.  There is no consideration extended to the helpless.  I believe any involvement in these types of acts, if not repented of, will bring the perpetrator to suffering unimaginable.  Life is most precious.  It isn’t to be treated lightly.  It’s sacred and will be accounted for.

Recently I have been pouring through Jacob chapter 5 in the Book of Mormon.  Over the years this chapter has been a challenge to me, far more than Isaiah ever was.  This allegory has more layers and multiple meanings than I can keep aligned effectively in my mind.  I came across some thoughts by Elder Holland in his book, Christ and the New Covenant.  He added to a multitude of thoughts about the meaning of the allegory which I found gloriously powerful but I was still engulfed in prophetic meaning attached to Israel’s storied history, both good and bad.  I can even see just me in this allegorical rendition of redemption.  Roots and branches play critical roles in the narrative.  Interestingly, two years ago I planted a beautiful pink oleander in our yard.  In a single season it grew over seven feet and was flush with beautiful pink blossoms all summer long.  However, each successive winter, the temperatures were low enough during the winter to cause extensive freezing of the leaves and thinner branches.  All of the previous year’s growth was undone.  The first year I cut it back to about a foot from the ground.  The roots remained alive and unharmed and quickly shot out new growth that once again reached to seven feet and allowed us to enjoy the bounteous pink blossoms we had come to love.  I hoped the temperatures wouldn’t drop so much last winter, but it soon became evident that all of the leaves had frozen again.  This spring I cut it back to the ground.  The woody stems seemed lifeless and for several weeks I wondered if I would have to replace it but in the last week or so I  noticed tiny purple buds on what remained of the plant.  At first I wondered if it was alive but each day those tender little shoots grew larger until there was no mistaking that the plant was alive.  The roots had endured the freezing once again.  I anticipate another summer of pink blossoms, life coming from the dead.  For the first time during my repetitive examination of Jacob 5 I noticed five verses that ended chapter 4.  It was as though I had never read these verses before.  Today they blazed to my notice.  “But behold, the Jews were a stiffnecked people; and they despised the words of plainness, and killed the prophets, and sought for things that they could not understand. Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark, they must needs fall; for God hath taken away his plainness from them, and delivered unto them many things which they cannot understand, because they desired it. And because they desired it God hath done it, that they may stumble. And now I, Jacob, am led on by the Spirit unto prophesying; for I perceive by the workings of the Spirit which is in me, that by the stumbling of the Jews they will reject the stone upon which they might build and have safe foundation. But behold, according to the scriptures, this stone shall become the great, and the last, and the only sure foundation, upon which the Jews can build.  And now, my beloved, how is it possible that these, after having rejected the sure foundation, can ever build upon it, that it may become the head of their corner? Behold, my beloved brethren, I will unfold this mystery unto you.”  Indeed, after having rejected Christ and His infinite and eternal atoning sacrifice, how could they EVER come back from that and take advantage of this glorious and sacred gift?  What a question, not only for them but for me, for anyone?  How can we, without Christ, live again after death?  How can we, without Christ, be cleansed and made holy in order to enter again into His presence?  As the sweetness of redemption began to swell within my heart the eyes of my understanding were opened.  Israel began as a covenant family but over time their devotion to the Living God withered and dwindled in unbelief.  But the Lord’s loving kindness and inherent goodness provided for a plan to bring life from death, even of a rebellious society.  Those roots would spawn successive regenerations, many of which would reach out to God and take hold of His gracious gift.  It would be these branches, these branches of faithful saints who would apply the atoning blood of Christ to their own lives and then reach back across the veil in the holy temples of God to vicariously provide sacred ordinances to their ancestors and bring them again to the God they once rejected.  This glorious redemptive effort will continue until all who wish to be redeemed may be redeemed.  Life from death.  Rescue from the fall.  Redemption from our sins. Reconciled with God.  What could possibly be more glorious?

I am still unsettled by the talk I gave on Easter.  I replay it in my head over and over.  The game sped up for me, when normally it is slow, calm.  I rarely get flustered but this time I did.  The time was too short for me to accomplish what I thought I could.  I still feel as though I let the Lord down by not emphasizing His redemptive ability.  I feel like I let the darkness of the  story overshadow the glorious light of healing that can only come in and through the Savior.  I would like to give my talk to you, with no time restraint, as I would have liked to give it then, but didn’t.  I know this will be cathartic for me, which is selfish.  I wish I could have another shot at it but I’ll never be able to reconstruct those exact circumstances.  I know the Savior well enough to know that He isn’t worried about a talk I gave.  He doesn’t need me to protect Him.  So, if you will allow me, this is what I wish I would have said. My Dear Brothers and Sisters.  Easter is a sacred day as we celebrate the Savior’s triumph over physical death for all mankind.  As glorious and important as that is, and it is, it doesn’t entirely overcome the effects of the Fall of Adam and Eve.  As a result, they became mortal with all of its attendant ills.  All of God’s other children inherited from them physical death and a mortal experience which would inevitably lead them to spiritual death.  The Fall and Christ’s atonement are intrinsically linked and affect every child of God.  My mother’s family knew its share of anguish and suffering.  My mother’s youngest brother died in 1927 at the age of four, two years before my mother was born, bringing heartache to his family, particularly to his parents.  When my mother was thirteen years old, an even more traumatic event occurred.  Her oldest brother, Clark, age thirty, was married and the father of two children, a son, Boyd, age eleven, and a daughter age five.  Clark was an introvert who kept his feelings to himself.  Apparently, over time he had become discouraged, even depressed because of his circumstances in life when compared to many of his peers.  To him, it seemed like everyone else his age was making significant financial strides in their occupations while his situation seemed different, more stagnant, even grim.  Confronted with this perception of his life currently and a future that seemed no better, he ended his life by drinking some poison that was available on the farm.  That alone would have been tragic enough but for some unknown reason, he also forced the poison into the mouth of his eleven year old son, Boyd.  While the poison ended Clark’s life, Boyd survived, at least physically.  Having been traumatized by his experience, Boyd became embittered and resentful, something that lasted most of his life.  He resented God, his father, his grandparents, and life in general.  He reached adulthood, married and had a child.  From one horrible act sprung much misery and suffering that rippled through many other lives.  It isn’t much of a stretch to think that Clark, upon arriving in the spirit world, would have encountered the reality of ongoing life.  Certainly, the weight of his mortal choice must have come home to roost at some point.  If viewed under the light of truth, which would have been inescapable, he surely must have experienced deep remorse and guilt for what he had done, not only to himself but also to Boyd, my mother and her sisters.  But perhaps most profoundly to his parents whose grief was debilitating. His own guilt must have been overwhelming.  For Boyd, whose life was tainted by his persistent resentment, he was denied the blessings that flowed from embracing the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  There were ordinances left undone and covenants not made.  There were countless days of possible happiness that were replaced with bitterness and seething anger.  His resentment caused him to forfeit many joyous experiences in his life.  For his wife, who was left with two children and no husband, there must have been deep grief, soul stretching grief.  She must have also confronted the uncertainty of what a new life would be like for her and her two children, economically and emotionally.  For his sisters, including my mother who was at the time only thirteen years old, there must have been a great deal of shame.  During that period of time in the Church, suicide was viewed as akin to murder and the object of judgment among the residents of their little town.  This was such a tragic event that it was never spoken of during my life until 2018.  Shame is a silent adversary, keeping one locked behind a wall of secrets.  In addition, those three girls also had to endure the grief of losing their oldest brother.  For his parents, my maternal grandparents, whom I love beyond measure, they were emotionally devastated.  I’m certain that beyond the grief there must have been extensive guilt, taking upon themselves the responsibility for what happened even if they had none.  Surely they must have perpetually reviewed this tragedy in their minds and hearts, wondering what they could have done differently to prevent it, even when nobody had seen it coming because he kept his feelings to himself.   For them, it was as if their lives had ended.  Their grief lasted for years.  How could all of this possibly be fixed?  Who could possibly take on such a monumental task?

Who could possibly wash away Clark’s guilt and pain? What type of judge would exercise mercy for Clark and justice for Boyd and find both of them satisfied?  How could forgiveness ultimately eliminate the loads carried by both Clark and Boyd?  Who could replace the emotional devastation felt by Clark’s wife and daughter with peace?  Who could assume their shame in a way that would relieve them of it?  Who could do the same for Clark’s sisters, including my mother?  And for Clark’s parents, who could ever restore peace to their hearts and lives?  Who could change their trauma into a future filled with hope and peace?  Who could make all of them whole?  There is only One! Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God!  He was sent to earth to cancel out the effects of the Fall, to heal and mend broken hearts and broken lives through His infinite and eternal atonement. He was the only One who could repair all that was broken. Lehi said, “Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth. Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law . . . there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah.”  (2 Nephi 2 6-8)Jacob said, “O the greatness of the mercy of our God, the Holy One of Israel! For he delivereth his saints from that awful monster the devil, and death, and hell, and that lake of fire and brimstone, which is endless torment.” (2 Nephi 9:19) Abinadi said, “And thus God breaketh the bands of death, having gained the victory over death; giving the Son power to make intercession for the children of men—Having ascended into heaven, having the bowels of mercy; being filled with compassion towards the children of men; standing betwixt them and justice; having broken the bands of death, taken upon himself their iniquity and their transgressions, having redeemed them, and satisfied the demands of justice.”  (Mosiah 15:8,9) Alma said, “He will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities . . . that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance.”  (Alma 7:11-13) Amulek said, “For it is expedient that an atonement should be made; for according to the great plan of the Eternal God there must be an atonement made, or else all mankind must unavoidably perish . . . For it is expedient that there should be a great and last sacrifice . . . but it must be an infinite and eternal sacrifice . . . to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice . . . And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety.” (Alma 34:9,10,15,16) Isaiah said, “He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces.” Moroni said, “Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.”  (Moroni 10:32,33) I testify of the Holy One of Israel, who comes with healing in His wings to restore that which is broken, to give life to the lifeless, and to wash clean all willing to avail themselves of his precious and atoning sacrifice.  He is indeed the Savior and Redeemer of all mankind, including Clark, Boyd, My mother, my aunts, and my maternal grandparents.  For, His atoning mission will make it possible for Him to wipe away all tears from off all faces.  I have experienced his redeeming love and mercy.  He lives!  Of that I am certain.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

My personal study of the Book of Mormon is in the middle of the war chapters in Alma.  My Come Follow Him study is in Jacob.  My interaction with the war chapters has changed significantly over the years.  The first time I read the Book of Mormon was while serving on my mission in Canada.  Elder Pearson, whose father was a Religion Professor at BYU who taught Book of Mormon classes, was particularly influential in helping me come to love the Book of Mormon.  The first time I encountered the war chapters I was intrigued by the narrative of the story.  At that time I couldn’t see anything past that.  However, over the years I began to see a spiritual analogy to all of it.  Confronting an enemy, being ever vigilant of my enemy’s intent and tactics, preparing a strong defense to protect myself from his attacks, and how to counter attack wisely and effectively were all things that seemed to have spiritual meaning to me.  But lately I’ve wondered if there is even another layer of meaning.  That was a lot of content that Mormon considered essential to include in his record.  Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “We know for certain that if and when everything else in the latter days is down or dying; if governments, economies, industries, and institutions crumble; if societies and cultures become a quagmire of chaos and insecurity, nevertheless, through it all the gospel of Jesus Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that bears that gospel to the world will stand triumphant. It will stand undefiled in God’s hand until the very Son of God Himself comes to rule and reign as Lord of lords and King of kings. Nothing is more certain in this world. Nothing is more sure. Nothing could be more of an antidote to anxiety.”  When considering what he said, I have begun to wonder if the war chapters will ultimately have a much more literal meaning.  Will our society become overrun by the purveyors of chaos?  Will we as a people be required to stand up for our covenant beliefs more than just verbally?  Will we have to defend ourselves literally and existentially?  I don’t know.  I just wonder.  

More than any other single thing, the Book of Mormon is the fulcrum upon which the divine veracity of all other restoration claims is balanced.  What places the Book of in such a prominent spot is the evidence which accompanies it.  Eyewitness testimony in a court of law, especially if there is more than one reliable witness, bears incredible weight when a verdict is in the balance.  Because the Book of Mormon claimed to be a record of an ancient society originally scribed onto metal plates, having witnesses to the reality of the plates can be persuasive as well as difficult for critics to ignore.  As can be corroborated historically, seventeen people testified to either seeing or holding the plates from which the Book of Mormon was translated.  Joseph Smith was the first person to see and hold the plates under the direction of an angelic messenger named Moroni.  In the preface to the Book of Mormon one will find the testimonies of three men who saw and heard the angel and also saw the plates.  The angel commanded them to testify of what they had seen and experienced, which all three did for the rest of their lives.  However, all three became disaffected from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as well as Joseph himself.  David Whitmer never did return to the Church or Joseph while Oliver Cowdery and Martin Harris both sought to return to the Church, with only Harris completing the process as Cowdery died before going west with the Saints.  Fascinatingly, none of the three ever denied or recanted their testimony of seeing the angel and the plates and declaring the truthfulness of the message found on the plates, as proclaimed by the angel.  Having become disaffected from Joseph Smith it would seem unlikely that they would tenaciously remain true to their testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon if they could have easily discredited Joseph by denying the truthfulness of what they saw and heard.  But they did remain true to their testimony, regardless of their relationship with Joseph Smith.  All three died having been true to the angelic admonition to testify of the Book’s divine origin and purpose.  To me, that is powerful evidence of the divine veracity of the Book of Mormon.  In addition to the prophesied three witnesses Joseph showed the plates to eight other witnesses as recorded in the preface of the Book of Mormon.  But beside eyewitness accounts I propose that the greatest witness of the truthfulness of the Book or Mormon is the book itself.  Translated in under 60 working days, containing a complex narrative filled with connections to Hebrew literary form that would have been impossible for Joseph Smith to know, let alone use in context.  Despite this overwhelming evidence of its truthfulness being exactly what it claims to be, I came to know for myself that this ancient record is exactly what it claims to be.  I have felt the Spirit on a multitude of occasions whispering to my soul that it is true.  I can discern the difference in my life when I read the Book of Mormon daily and when I don’t.  I invite each of you who have not come to that point in your life to give serious consideration to determining for yourself the truth of the Book of Mormon by reading it and asking God if it is true.  If your intent is genuine, your answer will come unmistakably to you and your life will never be the same.  Of that, I am an eyewitness.  

Elder George A. Cannon said, “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so]. He is an unchangeable being; the same yesterday, the same today, and He will be the same throughout the eternal ages to come. We have found that God. We have made Him our friend, by obeying His Gospel; and He will stand by us. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them, if we only trust in our God and keep His commandments.”  Over the years I have encountered a variety of opinions regarding the character of God.  They range from believing that there is no God to there is a God that doesn’t require anything of us.  It’s my personal belief that distorting the nature of God in the minds of people is as damaging as convincing them there is no God.  Some believe in God but believe He is an angry and vindictive God who takes pleasure in punishing us.  Some believe in a higher power but don’t perceive Him as having a corporeal body with emotions.  Some believe that we are His children but only symbolically.  Actually, God can only be understood by revelation.  Truth about the nature of God was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith while just a young man of 14 when God and Jesus Christ appeared to him in a grove of trees near Palmyra, New York.  God is a God of love, of mercy, and of justice.  Our connection to Him is literally as His offspring.  His love being eternally pure, is expressed to His children in ways not always understood by many.  His divine purpose is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”  With this in mind it’s important to understand that God’s perspective is vastly different than ours, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Often a person’s perception of God is formed by the opinions of others or their own interaction with Him.  Often their misunderstanding of Him and His purposes create a false expectation that goes unmet.  For that purpose God has spoken to prophets since the beginning of mankind.  They provide the essential understanding that allows us to reach out to God and come to love Him, obey Him, and honor Him.  Those who draw near to Him will gain a greater understanding of what and who He is from their own experiences with Him.  They will come to feel His love and love Him in return.  They will come to know that they are dependent upon him for our very existence.  They will be in awe of Him.  They will come to rely upon Him.  They will come to want to be like Him.  They will come to trust Him and recognize Him as their only source of surviving mortality.  His character is full of all that is good.  

I came across some quotes by President M. Russell Nelson today while reviewing from the list I have created.  For some time now I have realized that the days ahead will not mirror our present days.  Future days will be far less pleasant and much more chaotic.  There will be a universal deterioration of societies all over the world.  The adversary has gained great power in the past 55 years.  The more people who choose to follow him or are deceived by him, the greater his power becomes.  It seems to me as if this rush to destruction is gaining speed.  It’s an issue I addressed some time ago when confronting people in our Ward Council who balked at prophetic counsel to become more invested in drawing nearer to the only source of power that will be able to thwart the devil’s advances, Jesus Christ.  Chaos will become the standard to which we will be accustomed.  Without the moral meaning provided by God and His Beloved Son, even in part by other religious entities, no society will be able to sustain itself.  There won’t be enough good to police the bad.  These societal collapses which preceded ours lay before our eyes in the scriptures.  The depths to which once great and good societies have fallen are but types and shadows of what awaits us.  Despite the dreary forecast before us, prophetic counsel affirms our hope in Jesus Christ.  President Nelson said, “Our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, will perform some of His mightiest works between now and when He comes again. We will see miraculous indications that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, preside over this Church in majesty and glory. But in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost. Rarely in the future will it be easy or popular to be a faithful Latter-day Saint.”  Prophetic warnings are priceless and always given before the Lord’s wrath is unleashed upon a rebellious people.  

Truly the temple is a haven for anyone seeking God.  It is an oasis of peace for the troubled.  We both enjoy immensely serving our ancestors in the temple, doing vicarious work for those who can no longer accomplish it on their own.  President Benson said, “The work we are performing here has direct relationship to the work over there.  Someday you will know that there are ordinances performed over there, too, in order to make the vicarious work which you do effective.  It will all be done under the authority and power of the Priesthood of God.”  Knowing we work alongside those on the other side of the veil, who bring the restored gospel of Christ to those incarcerated by their own sins.  As Isaiah said, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.”  

It’s Mother’s Day and I wanted to express to my daughters how grateful I am for them.  I began formulating a text that grew more lengthy than I had originally anticipated.  Regardless, it expressed my feelings for each of them.  The last line in my text was, “Please have a guilt free Mother’s Day.”  For many years I have been aware that many, if not most, mothers have difficulty with Mother’s Day.  So many mothers feel inadequate when they compare themselves to other women, to other mothers.  So often during sacrament meeting talks focusing on mothers are tributes to one’s own mother that includes a list, sometimes lengthy, of the wonderful qualities possessed by their mother.  It’s my humble opinion that such accolades would be far better served if expressed privately or within that family’s boundaries.  Expressed in general ways, such as at church can strike at a woman’s heart as if it were a dagger.  Mothers often have to battle with their own feelings of inadequacy because the demands of motherhood are set so incredibly high that in reality, they are unattainable.  They compare their own performance as a mother to other women and even their own expectations and perceive themselves as lacking.  This brutal feeling is often associated with children.  I’ve always believed mortal comparisons of any sort are faulty and damaging but particularly so when the comparison includes the perceptions of how motherhood can so easily be tainted by the actions of a child.  Children have their own agency just as everyone does.  They are allowed, in fact divinely expected, to make their own choices.  If those choices aren’t in alignment with a mother’s hopes, it can be devastating.  Britany’s response to the last line of my text contained these words, “I don’t know if it’s possible to have a Mother’s Day guilt free.  I think it’s also a mother’s nature to feel very inadequate and that she is never doing quite her best.”  If I could change anything, near the top of my list would be to convince mothers that their efforts, however self maligned they may be perceived to be, beginning at the moment of her first child’s birth and continuing until her death, are in most cases exemplary.  Their willingness to sacrifice almost everything for the welfare of a child is incomparable almost anywhere else in existence.  A mother’s love is incomparable.  Her devotion to her children is so extensive that no mortal mouth can form words adequate to the task of defining such a lifelong gift.  Mothers do more with less acclaim than any other humans, and do so willingly.  Mothers will one day come to know their true value when the truth of eternal perspective is unveiled.

I listened to two talks early in the day, one by Elder Bruce C Hafen titled The Atonement: All for All and one by Elder David B. Haight titled The Sacrament and the Sacrifice.  Both of these talks resonated with me.  Whenever the Lord Jesus Christ is the topic of something said or written, I am interested.  For as much as I have come to know about Him, it’s knowing Him that is most important.  Somewhere between what I know about Him and how I live because I love Him is where I currently reside.  I recognize the vast disparity between our locations but I do strive to love Him more and more.  In doing so I become more intimately acquainted with Him.  For as I draw nearer to Him, He always responds by drawing nearer to me.  It is these personal interactions with Him that make me more acutely aware of His divine nature, of His eternal desires, and how much more I need to become like Him.  But with each step in His direction I become more confident in His willingness to help me become something far more than I am or can be if left to my own ability.  There are days when my heart swells with love for Him, for all He has done for me.  It isn’t unusual for me when I am pondering on His merciful, loving kindness that my tears are pushed to the brink and cascade into the gorge of gratitude.  And considering what He has done not only for me but for all of God’s children, it can overwhelm me at times.  But there are also days when things I say or do could never be mistaken as expressions of love or gratitude for Him.  This journey is a long one and will never be accomplished in a moment.  Thus He asks me to keep both my desires and thoughts riveted to Him.  He is the core of my hope, my only salvation, the mighty One of Israel.  And, He is my friend.

One of the greater challenges in helping those who struggle with addictive substances and behaviors is the consequences that spill over to loved ones.  Of all those who feel betrayed, even children, the spouses of individuals whose particular struggle is with pornography seem to have the most difficult row to hoe.  While some are men whose wives are involved with pornography, nearly all, at least in our experience, are wives and women of men they are dating or even courting.  It’s hard for a woman not to feel shame if her husband or boyfriend is intentionally involved with pornography.  If the truth were told, most of these men began using as boys.  A common occurrence is the woman feels that she is somehow inadequate sexually.  Who would want to share that with another person, even a priesthood leader?  This wall of shame defies women to seek the help and pursue their own recovery from betrayal trauma, independent of their husband’s recovery.  Among priesthood leaders we found that many simply do not understand that a spouse needs their own recovery, independent of their husband’s.  When a priesthood leader’s counsel to a betrayed wife is simply to have more sex, she feels betrayed all over again.  The lack of understanding the true nature of pornography’s consequences acts as a barrier to recovery and diminishes significantly the possibility of saving a marriage.  President M. Russell Nelson said, speaking to women, “Satan and his minions will constantly contrive roadblocks to prevent you from understanding the spiritual gifts with which you have been and can be blessed. Unfortunately, some roadblocks may be the result of another’s misbehavior. It grieves me to think that any of you have felt marginalized or have not been believed by a priesthood leader or have been abused or betrayed by a husband, father, or a supposed friend. I feel deep sorrow that any of you have felt sidelined, disrespected, or misjudged. Such offenses have no place in the kingdom of God.”  In our experience, it hasn’t been uncommon for women meeting with a priesthood leader to not be believed or have her concerns diminished when pornography use by her husband is the topic of concern.  It hurts my heart that we have been restrained from helping educate priesthood leaders in this area about these issues.  Consequently, hundreds if not thousands of women in this area struggle alone never knowing that help is a short reach away.  That wall of shame is a tremendous barrier to their happiness and peace.

The adversary’s influence is like gravity, ever pulling us downward.  If we don’t exert an effort greater than the pull of evil’s impure intent, we can slip quietly away from God, each day losing more power to repel his temptations.  To hold fast to the iron rod requires intentional persistence in seeking and loving God.  This is the product of a willing heart and will draw one nearer to God and enhance their ability to reject Satan’s allures.  It’s the little things, done daily over time that determines our destination.  It’s our choice, hence our desires direct our path.   

While studying this morning I came across a verse in Alma 15 that reminded me of an experience I had as a bishop.  I think I have recorded it previously, but in the event that I haven’t, I want to share it with you here.  I would hate for it to be lost.  I had a couple come to visit with me because they had quit paying their tithing.  They were temple recommend holders but being new homeowners, their financial demands increased beyond their capability to keep pace.  Their mortal creditors were more demanding than were their heavenly One so they let their tithing and offerings slip so they could pay their mortal debts.  But after a few months, they felt guilty about their choice and came for relief.  We talked about who should be paid first and why not paying their tithing denied them the blessings attached to obedience.  They knew this and wanted to be obedient and square with the Lord but they didn’t know how to make their money stretch.  I felt prompted to tell them, in the name of the Lord, that if they would begin paying their tithing again, including catching up with what they hadn’t paid for those few months, letting some of their other bills go if need be, that within two weeks of becoming current with the Lord, the husband would get a new job that would provide them with an increased income.  They worked at this for several months until one Wednesday evening while I was at the church interviewing, she knocked on the door and handed me a tithing envelope and with a smile indicated that they were current and full with their tithing.  Her facial expression was much different than their downcast faces when they first came to see me.  That night the clock started.  As a week passed with no change I wasn’t particularly worried but as the second week began to dwindle I’ll admit I was a bit worried.  But I needn’t have.  Two weeks to the day, on another Wednesday evening, I got another knock on the door.  I opened it and there she stood, smiling,  “Bishop, I thought you’d like to know that my husband got a new job today that is much better than the one he had.”  Trusting in God’s promises is always sure.

The apostle Paul once said, “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we of all men are most miserable.”  I wonder if he was referring to managing our expectations.  I’ve noticed in my life, from an early age, that I have battled with my own expectations.  Expectations can be formed in a variety of ways.  Some of my expectations were of my own making and acted as impetus to achieve.  But some of my expectations were formed by things I believed would occur or wanted to occur.  I shaped these expectations in my own image.  I placed upon them my own time frames, convinced my life would turn out as I imagined it would, relying only upon a thread of reality.  The rest of it was knitted with strands of my own making.  While it was often woven with a thread of truth, I eagerly embellished what I thought would be with my own anticipatory expectations.  When I look back now, I realize and recognize my errant efforts to believe and expect certain things were framed more by my own hopes than the reality of truth.  I think these proximate expectations are common for all.  I now realize how easy it is for these intermediate expectations to become where Satan can plant his own seeds of disappointment.  While I believe I am better able to see the flaws in many of my previous expectations, I still find myself falling prey to mismanaged expectations at times.  Far too often I have embraced unrealistic expectations and placed my hopes of an outcome that was of no significant consequence.  How many of my expectations were flawed from the beginning, leading me to a measure of disappointment I need not have experienced.  I believe that the more submissive I become to God’s will, and strive to shape my life accordingly, the fewer false expectations I will encounter.  The more I strive to place my trust in God’s eternal promises by surrendering outcomes to Him that involve anything of importance to me, the more likely I will end up on my knees in gratitude for what only God can do.  His investment in each of His children is couched in His infinite love.  The nearer we draw to Him and surrender our lives and will to Him, the more likely we will avoid foolish proximate hopes and expectations and the disappointment which follows.  His promises are sure.  Hope in Christ is the only one true assurance a person can have.  I believe that managing my expectations is best accomplished by disciplining my desires and values so that they are focused on and riveted to the Holy One of Israel.  All the rest, all the fluff, all the meaningless things that I once believed and came to expect will simply fall by the wayside.  My expectations will be shaped by God’s word and promises rather than by my own foolish hopes.  

The scriptures have been a major part of my life.  How grateful I am for the Restoration scriptures that have been added to the canon already available.  These sacred words that point to Christ and make clear God’s creative intent as it involves us have shaped my life.  I have found them to be heaven sent.  My gratitude and admiration for prophets of ages past has grown significantly.  I do hope to meet many of them who have become for me pillars of faith and commitment to God.  So many of their lives have typified and foreshadowed the Savior of mankind, the very Son of God.  Their lives and sacrifices while serving the great Jehovah stand as sacred, celestial standards to which I can strive as I draw closer to Christ.  Regardless of how many times I have read and studied the scriptures, some just rise as if the ink becomes bolder before my eyes and I see something magnificent that has never before attracted my attention.  My study this morning was like that.  I was perusing the list of scriptures I’ve found to be meaningful enough to put on my phone in a long list that I review repeatedly to keep them ever before my eyes when something jumped out at me.  “For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.” (2 Nephi 24:23)  This is a powerful scripture in several ways, the phrase “reconciled to God” caught my attention in an unusual way.  The Webster 1828 Dictionary defines reconcile this way; “RECONCI’LE, verb transitive [Latin reconcilio; re and concilio; con and calo, to call, Gr. The literal sense is to call back into union.] To conciliate anew; to call back into union and friendship the affections which have been alienated; to restore to friendship or favor after estrangement; as, to reconcile men or parties that have been at variance.” This definition of reconcile certainly implies that mankind’s relationship with God was once more evident and intimate.  The scriptures make clear that all mankind are literally the offspring of God.  Surely the memory loss incurred at mortal birth has wiped away most memorable connections with God.  The severance of that eternal relationship that was produced by assuming mortality as an essential part of God’s maturation process for each of us, leaves us alienated from God by virtue of our fallen nature.  As a parent, the feelings engendered when a child is alienated from me for any reason is brutally painful.  Certainly God, whose pure affections would never have allowed Him to abandon any of His children without any hope of ever returning into His presence.  Hence the doctrine of reconciliation.  To restore what was lost.  To heal what was harmed.  To overcome the breach between us.  How is that possible?  Only through Christ whose perfect atoning sacrifice resolved all legal issues with God’s justice by virtue of His perfect mercy, allowing reconciliation to come forth and bind all the wounds that mortality inflicted.  Could there be a sweeter doctrine than that?

I hope you can accept another scripture insight from yesterday because I have one.  “For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have.” (2 Nephi 28:30)  I love that God interacts with us at the pace we choose.  Even for Joseph Smith, whose revelatory experiences must have seemed at times like he was drinking from a firehose, revelation from God came periodically and not all at once.  I’m certain it came according to Joseph’s readiness to receive it.  But I have come to know for myself that what I do with what God reveals to me personally will be the evident indicator of whether or not I will be given more.  When you really think about receiving revelation from God, what could be more amazing than that.  And yet, comparatively few treat revelation from God for what it actually is.  Over the years I’ve heard many people tell me they just can’t understand the scriptures so why read them.  It seems to me that this refrain was one of Laman and Lemuel’s pet justifications.  God is no respecter of persons.  His laws apply equally to all.  If one wants to better know God by communicating with Him, there are laws which govern that possibility.  If one wants to pay the price to know God, God will not withhold.  However, remember it is a process, line upon line, precept upon precept.  One shouldn’t expect to see what Nephi saw without paying the price that Nephi paid.  For us, that price is simply persevering with scripture study.  Don’t abandon it because you don’t understand it at first.  I promise you will know more the second time you read the same thing.  And your understanding will increase even more every time you subsequently read the same words.  It is the Holy Ghost that acts as the Tutor to the faithful.  But if one abandons their efforts to know by a lack of commitment to study, why would the Tutor hang around?

I’ve had time to ponder this week during the morning and time during the day.  My heart aches for people who do not yet understand God’s great plan of salvation, redemption, and reconciliation.  It’s my opinion that the Book of Mormon provides more clarity and understanding about the Savior’s atoning sacrifice on our behalf and how to engage its merciful power than any other source.  For example, consider these two verses from King Benjamin’s powerful sermon.  “And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had made an end of speaking the words which had been delivered unto him by the angel of the Lord, that he cast his eyes round about on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon them. And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.”  When one disobeys God’s law there is a consequence attached, just as when one obeys God’s law there is a consequence attached.  The consequence for disobedience is a separation between the one who sinned and God.  The consequence for obedience is a narrowing of the distance between the person and God.  One moves a person away from God and the other nearer to Him.  King Benjamin’s powerful words had struck the hearts of those to whom he spoke and they cried out for mercy, recognizing their alienation from God.  They hoped for mercy to provide a forgiveness that would eliminate their legal obligation for breaking God’s law.  But forgiveness alone isn’t enough to bring one back into the presence of God.  Just because one is forgiven doesn’t necessarily mean they have become like God in their nature.  There is a process of development that is required before one’s heart can be purified, having lost all desire for sin.  This particular group of people understood they needed both forgiveness for their own past sins but also a change of heart and nature in order to overcome their sinfulness.  Benjamin addressed this process in chapter 3 verse 19.  This process of ultimate change of nature is of such difficulty that a lifelong effort is required.  But once a person is firmly committed to seeking the ultimate outcome, they will find God’s Grace particularly necessary and beneficial when added to the best any mortal can do of their own accord.  Truly God is both just and merciful.  How glorious!

I have pondered in the past and continue to ponder on the fallen experience of mortality.  The acquisition of a mortal body, so essential to our potential eternal growth and purpose, brings with it a vast array of new feelings and inclinations.  For the first time in our lives we will experience hunger, illness, weakness, pain, tiredness, sexual inclinations, and many other things that will test our willingness to comply with God’s hope and expectations for each of us.  Satan’s influence in this fallen world runs rampant creating all sorts of chaos, all with the intent of causing as much misery as possible.  For long stretches of man’s mortal experience, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, including His authority, has been absent from the earth, leaving Satan’s nefarious influence to dominate mankind.  The light of Christ was and is given to every person born into mortality.  It acts as a check on evil and distinguishes between good and evil.  Each of us experience both good and evil in our lives.  Each of us, with the exception of Jesus Christ, have sinned.  Because each of us sin, we experience the consequences of both good and evil.  Fortunately, God has granted us the personal power to choose which we prefer.  It is in this confrontational environment that each of us shapes the course of our life by how we respond to these two powerful influences; good and evil.  I have often encountered, whether in my life or the lives of others an interesting response to this dichotomy.  Some people, when encountering a bad thing that negatively impacts their life, place the blame for it on God, not understanding the role of agency, His Holy nature, nor the nature of Satanic evil.  This is the manifestation of a greater misunderstanding.  God does not exist simply to clear one’s path in mortality of all evil, harm, or misery.  To expect such immunity would be to undermine and ultimately frustrate His eternal purposes for each of us.  To assign divine blame for any bad thing ignores the source of all evil and repudiates the true nature of God almighty, whose love, kindness, and mercy know no bounds.  Evil consequences ultimately stem from the evil one, whether directly the consequence of one’s own sins or the sins of another whose wake washes broadly enough to engulf others who are completely innocent.  It reminds me of the Allstate Insurance mayhem commercials.  Mayhem is everywhere, causing harm and loss.  Where does the fault fall?  Far too many are quick to assign blame to God, leaving them Godless in their most trying time.  For those whose choice is rather than blame God, to turn to Him in their most trying times, they will find comfort, strength, help, and peace, all elements excluded by one’s choice to blame God.  I have found God to be my best friend, as have countless others, beginning with Adam and Eve.  The scriptures are full of good and evil, justice and injustice.  They are also full of people who turned away from God as a result of some bad thing and those who turn to God as a result of some bad thing.  Which way one turns will make all the difference in one’s life.  

During my gospel study, I came across a verse in Alma 19 that I found intriguing.  This chapter recounts the experience that began with King Lamoni’s experience while in a trance that made him appear dead for two days and two nights.  After such a time with no sign of life, some began to feel like he was dead, even to the extent they thought he had begun to stink.  His wife wasn’t ready to accept that and inquired of Ammon about her husband’s condition.  He told her what was happening to him and that he would awaken the next day and that he shouldn’t be buried.  She stayed by his bedside until the next day when he arose and declared the nature of his experience and of God.  Upon doing so, he fell again, overcome with joy as did his wife and Ammon.  In short order, the King’s servants who had seen Ammon’s power also succumbed to the same spiritual union and fell to the ground as if dead.  Abish had some inclination regarding what was happening and thinking she could persuade others to believe in the God of Ammon, she ran into the street and called for others to come and see.  Upon entering the room where they all lay prone as if dead, there were a variety of perceptions about what was happening and why.  Some tried to kill Ammon in a fit of vengeance.  When this attempt to slay Ammon ended with the perpetrator being smitten dead, the varied opinions escalated and created an uproar of contention.  As the crowd contended about this situation, Mormon notes, “they began to marvel again among themselves what could be the cause of this great power, or what all these things could mean.”  So much of our lives in mortality is shaped by our own individual perceptions as we seek for meaning in life.  It is difficult for many to find meaning in life.  Without the truth declared by the Gospel of God that includes a life before and after this mortal portion, the injustice and deception perpetrated by the adversary can distort human perception into believing there is no God, and if there is, His true nature is perceived entirely opposite of what He truly is.  This search for meaning and truth will only find fruition in the revealed truths of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, just as it did for some who observed the events recorded in Alma 19.

While reviewing the scripture list I have put on my phone, I came across two verses from the Book of Jarom that I didn’t remember including but which particularly struck me.  “Wherefore, the prophets, and the priests, and the teachers, did labor diligently, exhorting with all long-suffering the people to diligence; teaching the law of Moses, and the intent for which it was given; persuading them to look forward unto the Messiah, and believe in him to come as though he already was. And after this manner did they teach them.  And it came to pass that by so doing they kept them from being destroyed upon the face of the land; for they did prick their hearts with the word, continually stirring them up unto repentance.”  Over the years a common complaint expressed by many members of the church was some semblance of “Why do the church leaders just say the same things over and over again?  Why don’t they say something new?”  These two verses address that murmuring profoundly.  I particularly like the last sentence.  The message of the Gospel of God is faith in Jesus Christ and repentance.  If the people were more inclined to make faith in Christ and repentance a more compelling component of their worship, perhaps being pricked with the repetitive word wouldn’t be so necessary.  I also found intriguing their efforts to persuade the people to believe in a Christ who had not yet come to earth but was only known by prophetic declarations, as though He had already come.  I wonder which required more faith, to believe in Christ before He actually came, to believe in Him while seeing the plethora of His miracles during His mortal ministry, or believing in Him afterwards with access to many, many eyewitnesses of His divine power as the Son of God.

My pondering led me to an interesting concept this morning.  I was thinking about what we mortals expect of God.  My memories of things I have asked of God over the years embarrassed me.  In fact, it made me take a hard look at the nature of my prayers.  The thing which stirred this was something President Oaks said; “God will respond to us in His own time, His own way, according to His own will.”  Just estimating, but I suppose close to 90% of my prayers are essentially an attempt to persuade God to bend to my will, my timing, and my way.  My recent prayers regarding my efforts to reshape the Addiction Recovery Program here are a prime example.  Rather than seeking God’s will, way, and timing, I laid out for Him what I thought needed to be done, how it should happen, and that it ought to occur expeditiously.  In retrospect, it’s a wonderful thing that He is so patient with us.  I imagine that most of us fall, at least to some extent, into this precarious category.  Life presents each of us with situations that are clearly beyond our control.  So we hurriedly rush to have God resolve whatever uncomfortable thing we are presently experiencing.  We plead for relief or change and usually prefer it happen immediately.  I think we have all this backward.  For example, when Jesus encountered the greatest challenge in His life, atoning for the sins and circumstances of all mankind, he was astonishingly weighed down by the burden, even unto death.  The weight which pressed down upon Him surprised Him.  He certainly had understood what needed to be done and why, but until He experienced it personally, He didn’t know what exactly would be required.  He pled with His Father for another way.  He repeated that plea more than once during the duration of the experience.  But when no other way became evidently possible, He submitted His will to the will of His Father and endured the bitterness of the cup His Father had given Him until He’d drunk the last bitter dregs of the bitterest cup possible.  But in doing so, enduring His most challenging experience unto the very bitter end while hanging painfully upon the cross having satisfied the demands of divine justice, making possible redemption for all mankind.  Should that not be the example I should strive to emulate?  Shouldn’t my prayers look more like His?  Shouldn’t I be more concerned about His will for me than expecting Him to accommodate my will in my time frame?  Shouldn’t I make more effort to discern His will for me and plead for assistance to accomplish His will than focus only upon my own personal needs shaped by my will?  I can’t help but think the closer I get to the Savior’s pattern, the closer I will embrace His will and allow my will to swallowed up in His.  In so doing, wouldn’t I be making progress in becoming more like Him, and by definition, more like my Heavenly Father?  For what could I possibly ask more?

I love the Book of Mormon.  Besides being the keystone of our religion, it has become the keystone in my life.  There is no other record that focuses so profoundly upon Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice than does the Book of Mormon.  When I hear people criticize and denounce it, I know for certain that the person so proclaiming such a thing is but another deceived individual who has never read it with an open mind and heart.  God Himself, by Moroni’s mouth, has promised anyone with a genuine intent to act upon what they come to know from its powerful prose, will know for certainty that it is exactly what it claims to be; an ancient record of a mostly bygone people and their interactions with Jesus Christ.  It witnesses Christ’s divinity and His magnificent atoning sacrifice which includes His glorious and real resurrection.  Its messages draw me nearer to God.  My life is different, better when I’m engaged in its powerful words.  I marvel at the depth of Christ’s atonement doctrines expressed by prophets whose views were far more divine than mine.  The account of societies forsaking their God which led to their demise brings tears to my eyes.  How frustrating such loss must be to God, the Father of them all.  I can’t even imagine being among the throng of thousands who were privileged to come forward and feel the prints in his hands and feet where nails had been driven to hold him to the cross.  To see and hear what they saw and heard would have been life changing, as it was for them.  But just hearing their voices stamped onto paper with printer’s ink has been in my ears as whispers from the dust, proclaiming their Lord God had overcome death and sin.  I have not seen nor heard nor felt physically, but my eyes have been opened, my ears have been attuned, and my heart has felt His love for me.  I have never experienced anything greater than that.  I invite each of you to experience what I have experienced by engaging the power of the Book of Mormon, another witness of Jesus Christ.

I believe that one of the adversary’s greatest efforts is aimed at convincing everyone that there is nothing from which they need to be saved.  Even among active members of the Church I’ve seen many who, in my estimation, really don’t know how perilous their mortal situation actually is.  The critical question that everyone must acknowledge and resolve is “Why do I need to be saved”?  I think most of the adversary’s counterfeit doctrines are some form of “This is all there is. Once you die there is nothing else.”  If our existence begins at our mortal birth and ends at our mortal death with nothing beyond this mortal experience, resulting in oblivion, from what does one need to be saved?  Death makes everything in life moot, essentially meaningless.  Once death occurs, nothingness swallows us up entirely.  Fortunately, there is an alternative provided by an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, eternal, and all loving Heavenly Father who designed and created all things with an eternal purpose.  Mortality is a very brief but essential part of Heavenly Father’s plan to help His children mature eternally.  He leaves the choice of what to believe to us.

In a talk by Elder Holland, he quoted something Elder Packer would say in meetings of the Twelve.  After a statement or presentation made by someone, Elder Packer would say, “Therefore, what?.”  In other words, what will result from this?  The Bishop and I have been concerned that the members of the Ward have not embraced the Savior’s atonement with the commitment necessary to change their individual natures.  We have talked about the impact gospel instruction should, or at least could, have on their lives and their devotion to God and His work.  Without replacing the bulk of teachers currently serving and having competent replacements at the ready, which we don’t, improving the quality and spirituality of their instruction is our only option.  As identified by Elder Holland, if the instruction isn’t guided and accompanied by the Holy Spirit such that something changes in the hearts of the learners, what has been accomplished?  In my opinion, there is no person who is without the need for change or improvement to some extent in their lives.  But if they attend church, listen to the talks, and sit in the class and don’t feel the power of the Spirit inspiring them to make intentional changes necessary to draw nearer to God, then what is the purpose?  So many talks don’t point us to Christ nor does classroom instruction delve into the scriptures that draw us to Christ.  Most class instruction is either a hurried effort to dispense as much superficial information as possible or to elicit as much superficial discussion as possible without ever connecting with the truths to which the Holy Spirit can testify and inspire change.  We have a monumental challenge to affect spiritual change in how our meetings and classes are implemented.  Hence Elder Bednar’s quotes, “Testimony alone is not and will not be enough to protect us in the latter-day storm of darkness and evil in which we are living. Testimony is important and necessary but not sufficient to provide the spiritual strength and protection we need. Some members of the Church with testimonies have wavered and fallen away. Their spiritual knowledge and commitment did not measure up to the challenges they faced. – The essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ entails a fundamental and permanent change in our very nature made possible through the Savior’s Atonement. True conversion brings a change in one’s beliefs, heart, and life to accept and conform to the will of God and includes a conscious commitment to become a disciple of Christ.”  

This morning while studying the Book of Mormon a strong impression filled my mind and heart.  I don’t usually consider the prophet Mormon to be categorized among the most profound prophets mentioned in the Book of Mormon.  But this morning, the import of this great prophet/military leader settled upon me in a way I had never previously experienced.  I came to realize that so much of what we have in the Book of Mormon was not only what he wrote as narrator but what he included as its editor.  I realized more fully how important his role was.  This book was written for us, for our time.  Its intent was to declare Jesus Christ as the Son of God and the Savior and Redeemer of all mankind.  What greater message could be constructed?  His choice of which records to include was and is divinely inspired.  His overall understanding of the sacred doctrines of salvation and redemption are evident from beginning to end.  His tragic witness of the destruction of a Nephite nation in full rebellion against God stands as a firm warning to us as a covenant people.  My appreciation for Mormon expanded greatly this morning as I pondered these things.

As many suffer from a so-called faith crisis that leads them away from the Church and consequently away from God, I’ve pondered upon what precipitates said crisis.  Why does the faith of some fail while in others it flourishes?  There is an obvious connection between belief and faith.  I don’t believe they are entirely synonymous but neither can they be severed from each other.  It’s my opinion that belief is an essential choice.  Some things in life don’t require much of a choice, a coin toss would suffice.  But other things, things with eternal implications and consequences do require an affirmative choice to be made.  While one may think standing upon neutral ground in such matters absolves them of the pressure to decide one way or another, such evasiveness simply results in defaulting to the negative position.  Neutral is not the default status.  “He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; and ye can do good and be restored unto that which is good, or have that which is good restored unto you; or ye can do evil, and have that which is evil restored unto you.” (Helaman 14:31)  Alma chapter 32 deals with a group of people confronting this essential choice of what to believe.  The prophet Alma clarified the parameters of the choice, testifying of God and what was required to connect with Him.  He testified of truth and invited them to believe in that salvational truth.  He asked them to believe in what he’d said, “even if ye can no more than desire to believe.”  There can be no mistaking the element of choice being offered to every individual to whom he was speaking.  This choice/desire to believe will, if nourished, lead to the faith which inspires action.  He taught at length about the actions necessary to grow one’s faith, again responsive to one’s choice to nourish it or not.  I can’t help but believe that one whose faith frays and finally expires is one who, for whatever reason, chose to stop believing.  They stopped nourishing their faith with actions prophetically defined.  As their faith expired, doubt willingly filled the space, eradicating whatever remnants of faith and belief still existed.  This downward spiral continued until their faith was dead which negatively changed their perspective about eternal things.  For many, a recognition of what transpired came long after their forfeiture of many blessings and opportunities to know God.  “For how knoweth a man the Master whom he has not served, and who is stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?”  (Mosiah 5:13)

For the first time in memory we found the marriage waiting room full, quiet and reverent, befitting the House of the Lord.  Years ago in the Jordan River Temple, they had to use a microphone in the marriage waiting room just to be heard over the loud talk and even laughter.  I’ve always found such inappropriate behavior in the temple offensive to the Lord.  To me it speaks of a blatant lack of love for Him.  This group, which was scheduled for a 10:30 marriage, was exemplary.  I was so impressed.  Unfortunately, after that 10:30 group emptied the waiting room, the 11:00 group began to enter the waiting room.  At first it was quiet but as more and more people filled the room, the decibel level rose with the numbers.  It became loud, with laughter that just irritates me in that sacred setting.  It got so loud that a temple worker asked for quiet so she could read a statement prepared by the Temple Presidency.  It spoke of the sacred nature of the marriage ordinance, the highest ordinance performed in the temple, and asked for a level of reverence befitting the ordinance and a measure of preparation prior to witnessing the marriage.  She had no sooner finished than the sound again began to escalate until within just minutes it was as loud and irreverent as it had been before.  I was amazed at the lack of respect by this group.  It hurt my heart.  Whenever I am in the temple I strive to listen far more than whisper.  If indeed it is the House of the Lord, why would a person want to speak loudly, especially about trivial things?  I don’t believe it’s behavior fitting the House of the Lord.  To me it seems that such behavior in the temple speaks more of a social conversion than a spiritual one.  True reverence emanates from one’s utter awe at the power, glory, and majesty of God.  3rd Nephi 11:5-12 bespeaks of true reverence and its attendant awe which comes naturally with any encounter with God.  “And again the third time they did hear the voice, and did open their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came. And behold, the third time they did understand the voice which they heard; and it said unto them: Behold my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased, in whom I have glorified my name—hear ye him. And it came to pass, as they understood they cast their eyes up again towards heaven; and behold, they saw a Man descending out of heaven; and he was clothed in a white robe; and he came down and stood in the midst of them; and the eyes of the whole multitude were turned upon him, and they durst not open their mouths, even one to another, and wist not what it meant, for they thought it was an angel that had appeared unto them. And it came to pass that he stretched forth his hand and spake unto the people, saying: Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world. And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning. And it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words the whole multitude fell to the earth; for they remembered that it had been prophesied among them that Christ should show himself unto them after his ascension into heaven.”  These people were constrained to silence and prostration when encountering the living Son of God, His glory and majesty overpowering mere mortals.  So why do people feel comfortable acting inappropriately in God’s presence in the temple?  Certainly a lack of true understanding about the nature of God and His eternal work would have to be a contributing factor.  

While I was pondering a couple of scriptures from the Book of Mormon when I felt overwhelmed by the great gift of the Book of Mormon, for the faithful saints whose very lives bore witness of their belief in and devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ.  That the Lord would prepare this sacred volume for us at this time never ceases to amaze me.  His tender mercies are expressed in so many ways, some I have experienced myself and others experienced by individuals whose lives played out hundreds of years ago.  Two separate thoughts, one from King Benjamin and the other from Abinadi, caught my attention.  “Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen.” (Mosiah 5:15)  “And thus the flesh becoming subject to the Spirit, or the Son to the Father, being one God, suffereth temptation, and yieldeth not to the temptation, but suffereth himself to be mocked, and scourged, and cast out, and disowned by his people. And after all this, after working many mighty miracles among the children of men, he shall be led, yea, even as Isaiah said, as a sheep before the shearer is dumb, so he opened not his mouth. Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father. And thus God breaketh the bands of death, having gained the victory over death; giving the Son power to make intercession for the children of men—Having ascended into heaven, having the bowels of mercy; being filled with compassion towards the children of men; standing betwixt them and justice; having broken the bands of death, taken upon himself their iniquity and their transgressions, having redeemed them, and satisfied the demands of justice.” (Mosiah 15:5-9)  As I pondered these things, a thought arose in my mind that had come to me several years ago while serving in an ARP meeting.  It was; “In the equation of recovery, God is the constant and we are the variables.  Therefore, the value of the outcome will be determined by how much the variable is influenced by the constant.” It seemed to resonate with many of the participants then and subquently.  It was the first time that particular thought had ever entered my mind but it has arisen many times since, each time with additional nuance to consider.  Over those years its meaning has expanded to apply to the process of salvation.  Now it is; “In the equation of salvation, Christ is the constant and we are the variables.  Consequently, the value of the outcome will be determined by the extent to which the will of the variable becomes subject to the will of Christ.”  This sacred relationship between fallen man and the Lord Jesus Christ can combine to exalt anyone willing to submit their will to the will of Christ.  Only Christ can overcome death, pay the price for our sins, and enable us to overcome our mortal weakness.  In short He is the only one who can save and exalt us.  But the choice to submit to Christ and follow Him by keeping His commandments is ours alone.  God will never interfere with our own agency to choose the course of our lives.  He leaves that entirely to us.

During a dinner conversation recently the topic of what is required for one to have access to an exalted condition in the Celestial Kingdom of God.  I truly think that this particular concern is common among many, if not most, members of the Church who are aware of this need.  There is reason to believe that too many members perceive such a lofty aspiration as beyond their capacity to achieve.  From a personal perspective, Rachelle, a friend of ours who lived across the street, was saddened by the imminent passing of her mother.  As this woman inched ever closer to death, she shared with her daughter her fear of dying because she felt certain that she hadn’t done enough to warrant a Celestial reward which would bring her back into the presence of her Heavenly Father and be with her beloved husband for all eternity.  She wept many tears of regret in those last hours.  Rachelle shared with us how painful it was to hear her mother’s concerns.  It wasn’t a coincidence that just a week prior to our conversation I had read a talk given by Elder Bruce R. McConkie at the University of Utah Institute of Religion toward the end of his life titled “The Probationary Test of Mortality.”  Elder McConkie was known as being quite black or white when it came to gospel doctrine.  When hearing or reading his words it didn’t seem as if there was no room for allowance that varied from that really narrow path.  His talks could seem rigid and unyieldingly demanding.  In this context I found the end of his remarks in the talk mentioned above to be out of character but full of comfort and hope for those who are overwhelmed by unrealistic self expectations and a lack of correct understanding about the role of the Redeemer in the process of salvation and redemption. I shared his words with Rachelle and her countenance brightened considerably.  She was able to share those words with her mother before her passing which gave her comfort and hope that had been absent before that.  I would like to share those words from Elder McConkie which were near the end of his talk.  “This is what we need to do in order to succeed in the test of mortality. If we make the right choices, we’ll go on to eternal reward, and if we do not, then we’ll get some lower and lesser place in the kingdoms that are prepared. Let me append to what I’m saying there — something that is needed to give a rounded picture. It’s not quite on the subject, but it gives a rounded picture of what’s involved. You could take the expressions that I’ve made and say they’re a little severe, or they’re harsh or difficult, and hence, it’s hard to gain eternal salvation. I’d like to append to them the fact — and this a true gospel verity — that everyone in the Church who is on the straight and narrow path, who is striving and struggling and desiring to do what is right, though is far from perfect in this life; if he passes out of this life while he’s on the straight and narrow, he’s going to go on to eternal reward in his Father’s kingdom. We don’t need to get a complex or get a feeling that you have to be perfect to be saved. You don’t. There’s only been one perfect person, and that’s the Lord Jesus, but in order to be saved in the Kingdom of God and in order to pass the test of mortality, what you have to do is get on the straight and narrow path — thus charting a course leading to eternal life — and then, being on that path, pass out of this life in full fellowship. I’m not saying that you don’t have to keep the commandments. I’m saying you don’t have to be perfect to be saved. If you did, no one would be saved. The way it operates is this: you get on the path that’s named the ‘straight and narrow.’ You do it by entering the gate of repentance and baptism. The straight and narrow path leads from the gate of repentance and baptism, a very great distance, to a reward that’s called eternal life. If you’re on that path and pressing forward, and you die, you’ll never get off the path. There is no such thing as falling off the straight and narrow path in the life to come, and the reason is that this life is the time that is given to men to prepare for eternity. Now is the time and the day of your salvation, so if you’re working zealously in this life — though you haven’t fully overcome the world and you haven’t done all you hoped you might do — you’re still going to be saved. You don’t have to do what Jacob said, ‘Go beyond the mark.’ You don’t have to live a life that’s truer than true. You don’t have to have an excessive zeal that becomes fanatical and becomes unbalancing. What you have to do is stay in the mainstream of the Church and live as upright and decent people live in the Church — keeping the commandments, paying your tithing, serving in the organizations of the Church, loving the Lord, staying on the straight and narrow path. If you’re on that path when death comes — because this is the time and the day appointed, this the probationary estate — you’ll never fall off from it, and, for all practical purposes, your calling and election is made sure. Now, that isn’t the definition of that term, but the end result will be the same. There’s great hope for Latter-day Saints. There’s great hope for anyone who will repent, believe, obey, strive, struggle and seek to work out his salvation.”  I find these words of great comfort to anyone who feels incapable of reaching their celestial aspirations in its fullness.  I testify of the mercy, compassion, and grace of the Savior of all mankind, Jesus Christ.  If we just do our part and strive for betterment with earnest hearts and efforts, Jesus has the power to make us whole and holy.

One cannot serve both God and the devil at the same time.  The Lord said, “He that is not with me is against me.”  As the polarization of worldwide societies becomes more pronounced, it will become increasingly difficult to exert enough courage to stand for and with God in the face of viscous opposition.  Without a firm testimony of the truth of the restored Gospel of God and well along in the process of conversion, one could easily find themselves acting as did Peter when he denied the Savior just hours after pledging his undying devotion to Him.  I suspect this will be a situation in which the five unprepared virgins found themselves locked out.  One cannot cram a testimony or vicariously experience conversion.  Those things take time and affirmative effort.   

Sometimes I’ve felt that striving to live the gospel was like carrying two dozen tomatoes home from the store in my arms.  There just wasn’t enough room for them all and some always dropped.  When trying to pick up the ones I dropped, others would also inevitably drop.  No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t keep all the tomatoes safely in my arms.  My best efforts couldn’t keep all the tomatoes in pristine condition.  It became discouraging at times.  After all, why try if the best I could do was get home with less than two dozen bruised tomatoes?  Imagine my surprise upon finally arriving home only to see that all 24 tomatoes were just as plump and pristine as when I left the store with them.  There was not a single flaw in any of them.  How could that be?  Understanding came softly and sweetly.  It never was about the tomatoes.  It was always about how I responded to the challenge of getting the tomatoes home.  This changed how I perceived the process.  Regardless of how seemingly impossible it was to get all the tomatoes home in store-like condition, the Lord wanted me to keep picking up the tomatoes as best I could, even if I had to do it over and over and over again, until I got home.  He wanted my best effort even if it wasn’t good enough to preserve the tomatoes.  The struggle evidenced my desire and effort to complete the process even if my performance was flawed.  It was a way to express what I wanted most and the extent to which I would go to successfully complete my task.  It wasn’t my effort that made the tomatoes whole.  It was the power Christ has to heal and make whole.  Now I understand that by struggling forward no matter how often I fall short, seeking Christ, wanting to get closer to Him, and becoming His disciple is the task of greatest importance.  It doesn’t matter that if in the process I become bruised, or broken, or flawed.  The Savior is incredibly patient with each of us as we struggle to do something far more challenging than juggling tomatoes.  And best of all, if we diligently seek Him, regardless of how inadequate we sometimes feel, no matter how many tomatoes we drop, His grace will enable us to complete the process of becoming like Him, no matter how flawed we once were.  This is the meaning of Christ’s atonement.  Christ can heal what was once broken.  He can make whole what was once only a part.  His justice makes right what was once brutally painful.  His mercy can provide hope to those who need it most.  His pure goodness and love can overcome any negative or evil influence and replace it with peace, hope, and love.  Indeed, He is the Christ, the Mighty Messiah, the hope of Israel, the Deliverer, the Savior and Redeemer, the literal Son of God.

During my study this morning, I was struck by some of Mormon’s words as he witnessed the violent conclusion of Nephite society, the result of their own willful rebellion against God.  I can only imagine how painful this must have been for Mormon.  In these last days of his life while confronting an outcome that was inevitable, the content of his last words were certainly powerful and pleading, but even more they were an unavoidable warning.  I was particularly attentive to his warning about eternal accountability.  “And these things doth the Spirit manifest unto me; therefore I write unto you all. And for this cause I write unto you, that ye may know that ye must all stand before the judgment-seat of Christ, yea, every soul who belongs to the whole human family of Adam; and ye must stand to be judged of your works, whether they be good or evil; And also that ye may believe the gospel of Jesus Christ, which ye shall have among you; and also that the Jews, the covenant people of the Lord, shall have other witness besides him whom they saw and heard, that Jesus, whom they slew, was the very Christ and the very God. And I would that I could persuade all ye ends of the earth to repent and prepare to stand before the judgment-seat of Christ.”  If one chooses not to believe in God and in His words and accountability, especially from an eternal standpoint, has no influence in how a person lives their life.  Without accountability, one can live entirely as they see fit without worrying about ever having to account for their thoughts, words, and acts.  In this case, ignorance will not be bliss, but rather a painful introspection when confronted with the eternal truth of their situation.  Why else would Mormon plead with future generations to believe in God and repent of their sins while they could.  He was witnessing an entire civilization breathe their last gasps of mortal life.  God mercifully shares with His children the end from the beginning so they can act accordingly.  Ignoring that merciful gift will certainly come home to roost in most unpalatable ways.  In Alma’s words, “But behold, an awful death cometh upon the wicked; for they die as to things pertaining to things of righteousness; for they are unclean, and no unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of God; but they are cast out, and consigned to partake of the fruits of their labors or their works, which have been evil; and they drink the dregs of a bitter cup.”  The bitter cup which Christ drank in our behalf is His gift to the repentant.  But for the unrepentant, the rebellious, He said this, “I am Alpha and Omega, Christ the Lord; yea, even I am he, the beginning and the end, the Redeemer of the world. I, having accomplished and finished the will of him whose I am, even the Father, concerning me—having done this that I might subdue all things unto myself—Retaining all power, even to the destroying of Satan and his works at the end of the world, and the last great day of judgment, which I shall pass upon the inhabitants thereof, judging every man according to his works and the deeds which he hath done. And surely every man must repent or suffer, for I, God, am endless. -Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men. Wherefore, I command you again to repent, lest I humble you with my almighty power; and that you confess your sins, lest you suffer these punishments of which I have spoken, of which in the smallest, yea, even in the least degree you have tasted at the time I withdrew my Spirit.”  Mormon’s son Moroni elaborated on his father’s warning, “And now, I speak also concerning those who do not believe in Christ. Behold, will ye believe in the day of your visitation—behold, when the Lord shall come, yea, even that great day when the earth shall be rolled together as a scroll, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, yea, in that great day when ye shall be brought to stand before the Lamb of God—then will ye say that there is no God? Then will ye longer deny the Christ, or can ye behold the Lamb of God? Do ye suppose that ye shall dwell with him under a consciousness of your guilt? Do ye suppose that ye could be happy to dwell with that holy Being, when your souls are racked with a consciousness of guilt that ye have ever abused his laws? Behold, I say unto you that ye would be more miserable to dwell with a holy and just God, under a consciousness of your filthiness before him, than ye would to dwell with the damned souls in hell. For behold, when ye shall be brought to see your nakedness before God, and also the glory of God, and the holiness of Jesus Christ, it will kindle a flame of unquenchable fire upon you. O then ye unbelieving, turn ye unto the Lord; cry mightily unto the Father in the name of Jesus, that perhaps ye may be found spotless, pure, fair, and white, having been cleansed by the blood of the Lamb, at that great and last day.” Why else would the sacred, salvational doctrine of repentance have such a prominent place in the words of every prophet of God beginning with Adam?  As Sister Joy Jones said, “Eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about.”

My study of the Book of Mormon has reached the last chapters of Ether.  These bloody accounts of the demise of two separate societies, both having once been faithful to Jesus Christ and placed upon a land of promise, so designated by God Himself, had every advantage God could give to a group of people.  And yet, each eventually turned their back on God and walked away from Him, purposely rebelling against Him and His laws.  Both disregarded prophetic warnings about their destruction as a people.  Both became subject to Satan’s every whim which led them to total annihilation  A few verses in Ether characterize the debased state to which they had sunk; “And it came to pass when Coriantumr had recovered of his wounds, he began to remember the words which Ether had spoken unto him. He saw that there had been slain by the sword already nearly two millions of his people, and he began to sorrow in his heart; yea, there had been slain two millions of mighty men, and also their wives and their children. He began to repent of the evil which he had done; he began to remember the words which had been spoken by the mouth of all the prophets, and he saw them that they were fulfilled thus far, every whit; and his soul mourned and refused to be comforted. And it came to pass that he wrote an epistle unto Shiz, desiring him that he would spare the people, and he would give up the kingdom for the sake of the lives of the people. And it came to pass that when Shiz had received his epistle he wrote an epistle unto Coriantumr, that if he would give himself up, that he might slay him with his own sword, that he would spare the lives of the people. And it came to pass that the people repented not of their iniquity; and the people of Coriantumr were stirred up to anger against the people of Shiz; and the people of Shiz were stirred up to anger against the people of Coriantumr; wherefore, the people of Shiz did give battle unto the people of Coriantumr. And when Coriantumr saw that he was about to fall he fled again before the people of Shiz. And it came to pass that he came to the waters of Ripliancum, which, by interpretation, is large, or to exceed all; wherefore, when they came to these waters they pitched their tents; and Shiz also pitched his tents near unto them; and therefore on the morrow they did come to battle. And it came to pass that they fought an exceedingly sore battle, in which Coriantumr was wounded again, and he fainted with the loss of blood. And it came to pass that the armies of Coriantumr did press upon the armies of Shiz that they beat them, that they caused them to flee before them; and they did flee southward, and did pitch their tents in a place which was called Ogath. And it came to pass that the army of Coriantumr did pitch their tents by the hill Ramah; and it was that same hill where my father Mormon did hide up the records unto the Lord, which were sacred. And it came to pass that they did gather together all the people upon all the face of the land, who had not been slain, save it was Ether. And it came to pass that Ether did behold all the doings of the people; and he beheld that the people who were for Coriantumr were gathered together to the army of Coriantumr; and the people who were for Shiz were gathered together to the army of Shiz. Wherefore, they were for the space of four years gathering together the people, that they might get all who were upon the face of the land, and that they might receive all the strength which it was possible that they could receive. And it came to pass that when they were all gathered together, every one to the army which he would, with their wives and their children—both men, women and children being armed with weapons of war, having shields, and breastplates, and head-plates, and being clothed after the manner of war—they did march forth one against another to battle; and they fought all that day, and conquered not. And it came to pass that when it was night they were weary, and retired to their camps; and after they had retired to their camps they took up a howling and a lamentation for the loss of the slain of their people; and so great were their cries, their howlings and lamentations, that they did rend the air exceedingly. And it came to pass that on the morrow they did go again to battle, and great and terrible was that day; nevertheless, they conquered not, and when the night came again they did rend the air with their cries, and their howlings, and their mournings, for the loss of the slain of their people. And it came to pass that Coriantumr wrote again an epistle unto Shiz, desiring that he would not come again to battle, but that he would take the kingdom, and spare the lives of the people. But behold, the Spirit of the Lord had ceased striving with them, and Satan had full power over the hearts of the people; for they were given up unto the hardness of their hearts, and the blindness of their minds that they might be destroyed; wherefore they went again to battle. And it came to pass that they fought all that day, and when the night came they slept upon their swords. And on the morrow they fought even until the night came. And when the night came they were drunken with anger, even as a man who is drunken with wine; and they slept again upon their swords. And on the morrow they fought again; and when the night came they had all fallen by the sword save it were fifty and two of the people of Coriantumr, and sixty and nine of the people of Shiz.

And it came to pass that they slept upon their swords that night, and on the morrow they fought again, and they contended in their might with their swords and with their shields, all that day. And when the night came there were thirty and two of the people of Shiz, and twenty and seven of the people of Coriantumr. And it came to pass that they ate and slept, and prepared for death on the morrow. And they were large and mighty men as to the strength of men. And it came to pass that they fought for the space of three hours, and they fainted with the loss of blood. And it came to pass that when the men of Coriantumr had received sufficient strength that they could walk, they were about to flee for their lives; but behold, Shiz arose, and also his men, and he swore in his wrath that he would slay Coriantumr or he would perish by the sword. Wherefore, he did pursue them, and on the morrow he did overtake them; and they fought again with the sword. And it came to pass that when they had all fallen by the sword, save it were Coriantumr and Shiz, behold Shiz had fainted with the loss of blood. And it came to pass that when Coriantumr had leaned upon his sword, that he rested a little, he smote off the head of Shiz. And it came to pass that after he had smitten off the head of Shiz, that Shiz raised up on his hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died. And it came to pass that Coriantumr fell to the earth, and became as if he had no life. And the Lord spake unto Ether, and said unto him: Go forth. And he went forth, and beheld that the words of the Lord had all been fulfilled; and he finished his record; (and the hundredth part I have not written) and he hid them in a manner that the people of Limhi did find them.”  The thought of such brutality perpetrated upon each other, even rejecting God’s last offer for deliverance and life, is hard to imagine.  As millions of women and children were killed in this bloodthirsty rush to destruction, the strongest of the combatants refused to stop fighting. The elimination of a future was eradicated with the loss of all women as this war blew past that point with hardly a notice.  One may currently think that this outcome is something in the past, that it certainly couldn’t happen again, but nothing could be further from the truth.  Trace the origin of this bitter fight.  It began when the people wanted a king.  Despite the Brother of Jared prophetically warning them that such a choice would result in captivity, the people rejected the prophetic counsel and thus began the descent of an entire society that gained gravitational speed on their downward trajectory.  It didn’t start with brutality and a blindness of reality but that’s where it led.  To think this and other ancient societies are the only occurrences with such a tragic outcome would be to ignore the prophetic warnings that have come down through the millennia and burst forth from the mouths of living prophets.  Why would we think we would be immune from such a result if we ignored or rejected prophetic warning?  I can’t imagine that evil intent is not already burgeoning in the hearts of many in the United States as each political side considers their opposition to be evil incarnate.  Revenge revels in the hearts of those who lose and animosity will escalate to hatred and the thirst for power will lead to eliminating the opposition.   

How tragic would it be for a person to get to the precipice of their mortal life only to ask themselves, “Is this all there is?”  I know I have addressed this existential precipice before but I just can’t let it go without focusing on it some more.  I wrote a poem titled, What is it to Me, that expresses some aspects of the concerns I have for others who postpone asking this incredibly pertinent question, “Is this all there is?”  Can one live their entire life and accept meaning that doesn’t ever sufficiently fulfill them?  Why does one sell themselves short?  I testify that embracing the Gospel of God may fill one with deep meaning because it isn’t centered upon the person themselves, it’s focused on the eternal work of God to redeem His children throughout the eternities.  The joy and rejoicing that comes from eternal increase can be replicated in no other way.  Even for those who, for whatever reason, are unable to have posterity in this life will be able to find sufficient solace and comfort in the fact that all loss in this life will be made up in the next and that no righteous person will be denied any righteous aspect of their promised blessings, including children.  God’s plan is built upon a fulness of all things for every child willing to accept and follow God’s counsel.  Don’t delay asking yourself, “Is this all there is?”  If you have to ask that question, I assure you that a far better answer awaits as you turn to God in sweet repentance.

For some time I have been pondering the bitter cup.  What makes that cup so bitter?  At its root, sin always leads to suffering.  Sin is the opposite of obedience to God’s laws.  It weakens the sinner and leads to additional sin.  Whereas obedience to God’s laws always produces peace and joy.  Alma shared with his son the effects of his sins compared to the joy of repentance.  “But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins. Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments.  Yea, and I had murdered many of his children, or rather led them away unto destruction; yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror.  Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds.  And now, for three days and for three nights was I racked, even with the pains of a damned soul.  And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world. Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death. And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.”  Alma explained how sin relates to the bitter cup.  “But behold, an awful death cometh upon the wicked; for they die as to things pertaining to things of righteousness; for they are unclean, and no unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of God; but they are cast out, and consigned to partake of the fruits of their labors or their works, which have been evil; and they drink the dregs of a bitter cup.”  As all mortals have sinned, become unclean, and face the stark reality of divine accountability for their choices, the bitter cup awaits, even to the dregs unless the very Son of God intercedes.  It is His atoning sacrifice, both infinite and eternal, which can satisfy the demands of eternal justice and overpower the consequences with His eternal mercy.  “Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world. And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.”  Can one even begin to understand in even the most minute way the magnitude of His “bitter cup”?  Christ spoke of the difference between our bitter cup and His.  “Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.”  Elder Bruce C. Hafen said, “I once wondered if those who refuse to repent but who then satisfy the law of justice by paying for their own sins are then worthy to enter the celestial kingdom. The answer is no. The entrance requirements for celestial life are simply higher than merely satisfying the law of justice. For that reason, paying for our sins will not bear the same fruit as repenting of our sins. Justice is a law of balance and order and it must be satisfied, either through our payment or his. But if we decline the Savior’s invitation to let him carry our sins, and then satisfy justice by ourselves, we will not yet have experienced the complete rehabilitation that can occur through a combination of divine assistance and genuine repentance. Working together, those forces have the power permanently to change our hearts and our lives, preparing us for celestial life.”  There will inevitably be a bitter cup for everyone, but the question is, who will drink it?  The Savior lovingly drank everyone’s cup in paying the price to satisfy justice for our sins.  But that gift is only effective if we choose to repent of our sins and follow Him in faithful obedience.  “For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.  The bitter cup was given to Christ by His Father and He did not shrink from drinking it, even to the dregs, for all mankind.  If we believe in Him, repent of our sins, comply with His commandments, and remain faithful to the end of our lives, the bitter cup which He drank for us will overwhelm the demands of justice and set us free from the captivity of sin.  We will praise His Holy Name for all eternity for His devotion to His Father and to each of us.  Nothing pleases Him more than for us to accept His offering in full measure.  “Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.”  “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  

In our Ward alone are several people who at one time received their endowment in the House of the Lord.  This entailed making sacred covenants with God to be loyal and obedient to Him.  But now they have turned their backs on him.  This critical decision to reject God and the Lord Jesus Christ, especially post endowment, will create a path that spirals downward toward the misery known by the greatest rebel, Lucifer himself.  Watching this in real life and time pains my heart.  I see faithful individuals who are left to pick up the pieces of a broken marriage because they wouldn’t follow their rebellious spouse.  Many still live with their spouse who has walked away from all Church connections and activity.  In both of these instances, the lives of their children are negatively impacted.  Heartbreak awaits for both the offender and the victim.  May I share some thoughts regarding this matter.  I don’t believe anyone makes such a drastic choice instantaneously.  I think they get to that point gradually.  Joy Jones, former President of the Primary said, “Eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about.”  I was fortunate enough to have been raised on a farm where the resplendent vista of living things was daily before my eyes, and my nostrils. I learned early that sustaining life requires appropriate and unrelenting attention. This attention was dictated by the needs of what was living. Obviously the cows needed something different than the alfalfa and barley which fed them. The stark reality of this truth is not limited to material concerns. Immaterial things such as feelings that bind relationships are equally real. For example, the love that binds people together and to a common cause is dependent upon mutual and enduring commitment, attention, and effort. This love left unattended will invariably wither and die. Conversely, given constant and devoted attention and emphasis, love will continue to grow and blossom through every season of life and become more fulfilling than was ever initially imagined. Likewise a personal witness and testimony of God, our relationship to Him, His divine plan to bless His children through His gospel, restored in this last dispensation through the prophet Joseph Smith is a living, dynamic entity. One may experience a spiritual witness or connection with God that cannot be denied in the moment. However, that witness is not static. Rather, this spiritual witness will either grow with appropriate and devoted attention or wither and ultimately die with indifferent neglect. Therefore, the faith and trust in God needed to accept His plan of redemption under the direction of prophetic guidance here on earth will require not only an initial spiritual witness but an attentive, devoted commitment to building an ongoing and ever growing relationship with Deity. As with love, the constant attention and effort applied to one’s spiritual testimony and converstion will ultimately yield fruit far more compelling and fulfilling than any mortal could ever imagine.  Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “As I have watched a few personal friends over the years go through the ebb and flow of faith, I have wondered about the underlying causes. What happened? And again and again a verse in the Book of Mormon is the most satisfactory explanation. It is an interrogative in Mosiah 5:13 ‘For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?’ This describes what usually happens: otherwise basically decent people simply get caught up with the cares of the world. If instead of drawing closer to the Master we become a stranger to Him, then we have lost our way. The decent people to whom this happens haven’t engaged in major transgression, as a rule, but they have distanced themselves from the Savior and He has become a stranger to them. If, on the other hand, we really are drawing closer to Jesus and we are becoming however incrementally more like Him, then we are progressing. To use another Book of Mormon phrase, we must be ‘willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict.’ Whenever our wills are increasingly subsumed by His—the Book of Mormon calls it ‘swallowed up in the will of the Father’—then we really are on the road to discipleship. But that can’t happen with the sort of superficiality with which some approach discipleship.”  Consider the comparative words of the Book of Mormon prophet Mormon between those who intentionally sought God and those who became lax in their intent to draw closer to God.  “Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.”  “And thus we see that the Nephites did begin to dwindle in unbelief, and grow in wickedness and abominations, while the Lamanites began to grow exceedingly in the knowledge of their God; yea, they did begin to keep his statutes and commandments, and to walk in truth and uprightness before him. And thus we see that the Spirit of the Lord began to withdraw from the Nephites, because of the wickedness and the hardness of their hearts. And thus we see that the Lord began to pour out his Spirit upon the Lamanites, because of their easiness and willingness to believe in his words.”

From my perspective that has been shaped by my own experience and witness of many others, initially it isn’t the major things one must be wary of.  It’s the little things, the things that have seemingly no significant consequence or effect upon one’s leaning.  But once a person chooses to lean away from God, the gravity of evil exerts ever greater pull in that downward direction.

One encounters a large assortment of situations and circumstances during their mortal life.  I’m convinced there is a divine developmental reason for that.  But I also believe that we won’t understand the purpose of many of those things until we cross the veil into a world filled with greater knowledge and understanding of God’s redemptive ways.  But among everything we might experience, in my point of view one thing rates near or at the top.  I’ve never experienced any feeling quite as debilitating as helplessness.  Feeling powerless to change a situation or outcome can be extremely painful.  Much of that can occur because every person has the God given right to make their own choices.  It isn’t unusual for individuals to be affected by the choices of another person and it seems like more often than not, the effects are negative.  When a person finds themself in a situation or circumstance that is painful and seemingly unfixable, the state of helplessness settles in without being invited.  In a spiritual hymn with which I am acquainted are found these words, “When other helpers fail and comforts flee, Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me!”  Having felt helpless several times during my life, those simple words that point me to Christ have taken on new meaning.  In a world full of fault and frailty, what could be needed more than one capable and willing to help the helpless?  There is such a one and He has soothed my aching and fearful heart several times, most of the time without removing my unpleasant circumstance but always with the gift of sacred peace that only He can give.  I have found Him to be quick to the rescue and divinely competent when arriving on scene.  Indeed, He is the Help of the helpless.  Always and Forever.

While serving in the Addiction Recovery Program, I had a brother approach me after our meeting.  As he got near to me I could see the tears in his eyes.  He had been striving for years to overcome his addiction to harmful substances but with no success or even noticeable progress.  I embraced him and he put his head into my shoulder and wept.  He said, “I just can’t do it”.  He felt helpless and hopeless.  This feeling isn’t related only to those struggling with addictive substances or behaviors.  Many people become overwhelmed with the trials, troubles, and responsibilities of life.  My response to him that night wasn’t as profound or helpful as I think it could have been had I known then what I know now.  The concept of Grace is vastly misunderstood both in and out of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  But it is the Gift of God’s Grace that provides strength to those whose strength has waned.  Isaiah said, “Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength . . . But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”  In the Bible Dictionary Grace is “a word that occurs frequently in the New Testament, especially in the writings of Paul. The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ. It is through the grace of the Lord Jesus, made possible by His atoning sacrifice, that mankind will be raised in immortality, every person receiving his body from the grave in a condition of everlasting life. It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts. Divine grace is needed by every soul in consequence of the Fall of Adam and also because of man’s weaknesses and shortcomings. However, grace cannot suffice without total effort on the part of the recipient.”  Without God’s Grace mankind is unable to save themselves but without one’s best desire and effort to repent and change the fullness of God’s Grace remains out of reach.  Amaleki said, “And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him, and continue in fasting and praying, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved.”  God does not require any person to do more than they are capable of doing.  He simply wants our best efforts to repent unto obedience.  When one does that consistently and persistently God’s gift of Grace becomes available to them in order to accomplish eternal change that is not possible without His Grace.  In my opinion, the man I referenced above was trying to save himself, thus his anguished cry, “I just can’t do it.”  Of course he couldn’t do it.  It’s not possible without God’s Grace.  But there were things he could do.  He could pray, draw closer to God by reading the words of the Holy Prophets both ancient and current.  He could attend sacrament meeting faithfully every Sunday.  He could vigilantly work the 12 Steps of recovery.  He could recognize that change most often comes slowly, even sometimes imperceptibly, but it does come.  And God cannot withhold His Grace from someone who offers their whole soul unto Him through his determined and willing effort to comply with those things that are within his reach.  Grace will remain inert to anyone who thinks God will magically change their circumstances without applying any effort of their own.  It takes both.  

As I was contemplating the nearness of the end of my mortal trail I couldn’t help but notice that if you switched places with the a and i in trail, it would read trial.  In many ways life has been and continues to be a trial in some form and intensity.  I can’t deny that my greatest progress seeking to be close to the Lord has occurred in my times of trial.  My less than favorable circumstances have pressed me to develop divine characteristics far more than when I’m floating downriver with nary a whitewater rapid in sight.  Though not pleasant, these experiences have been effectively tutorial.  I think of something recorded in Hebrews chapter 12, presumably by Paul, “Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” Joseph Smith once alluded to the difficulty in getting the truth into the heads of the brethren by describing it this way, “There has been a great difficulty in getting anything into the heads of this generation. It has been like splitting hemlock knots with a corn-dodger [a piece of corn bread] for a wedge, and a pumpkin for a beetle [a wooden mallet].”  Though painful to admit, I think I would have to be considered among those whose head was hard to penetrate.  Many of my most difficult times have served to humble me in ways that could not have occurred in any other way.  Why should I complain about my chastening if at last it’s entirely for my betterment, not only here but for what awaits. 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

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