MY PARENTS

 

As I wander through the crowds

And watch the people around me

Some things come clearly into focus

And allow me the chance to truly see

 

 

I look at how people do things

In such interestingly different ways

That I reflect upon the way I do them

And my mind wanders back through the days

 

 

Granted, there are many ways of doing things

And one not always better than the rest

But some are clearly lacking

When exposed to the peril of life’s test

 

 

As I watch with an eye to learn

My wonder is stretched to the breach

Would I want to be a child born to some of them

If so, would happiness be within my reach

 

 

As a child, and the oldest one at that

My parents and I did not always agree

I thought my ways better than theirs

And they, their ways better for me

 

 

Things did not always run smoothly

As my parents and I made our way

Was it me or them who suffered the most

Back then, it was me, if I’d had the say

 

 

But now I am not only a parent

But a grandparent of those I hold dear

And so my vision of things has changed

It has become far more crystal clear

 

 

And so as I think of my parents

Even with their perceived mistakes

I can’t find cause to be critical of them

Because now I know what it takes

 

 

Raising me could not have been easy

My life a challenge to them both

But they stuck with it through thick and thin

And because they did, there was growth 

 

 

If I were the child of some I’ve seen

I’m left to wonder how I would get by

Would I flounder about as they seem to do

Would I ever have the chance to fly

 

 

My own choices can chart my course

But the load would be much harder to bear

Could I even know how to succeed

Or would I fall into a pit of despair

 

 

So if I were to be born again

And had power to make that choice

I’d most certainly pick those who raised me once

And praise them with my loudest voice

 

I was the oldest of seven children.  Seventeen years separated me from my youngest sibling, a brother.  I didn’t get along particularly well with my parents.  I truly was a challenge for them.  I’ve even thought it a miracle that I have siblings after my parents experienced me.  But from my youthful myopic point of view, they were a challenge for me.  It has taken me decades to overcome some of my ill placed feelings for them.  This poem is my tribute to them for pressing onward and raising a wonderful family.  It is also represents a small measure of my apology to them for all the grief I surely caused them as I navigated childhood with a rebellious nature that seemed to incapacitate my personal compass.  Any indictment of the struggles between me and my parents has long since nestled squarely on the shoulders of the guilty party; me.